Parenting Tips when your child suffers separation anxiety...
61My daughter is quiet clingy these days. It's hard to see her cry when I leave for work everyday...I'm just lucky to have a babysitter who is really responsible, but still she cries whenever I bid her goodbye and promised to be back early after working...Anything you can share...?
Separation Anxiety
Separation anxiety happens when a child experiences extreme anxiety when separated from parents or caregivers. It generally emerges around nine months of age and peaks around 12-24 months. The usual reaction of the child is to cry when the parent leaves. S/he cries because of the fear that their loved ones will be gone forever. There are also times when the child cries the moment the parent returns. This is because, as stated by Dr. Carol Watkins in her article, that the child was reminded of how s/he felt when the parent left. However, the degree of this anxiety can be reduced, with proper support from parents during periods of separation.
Reduce Separation Anxiety in Young Children
Degree of separation anxiety can be reduced through the following:
- Do not scold a child when s/he cries when you are about to leave.
- Assure him/her that s/he will be in good hands.
- Do not sneak out of the room, you'll just making the scenario more distressful.
- Leave, if you really have to leave. Do not prolong your departure.
- Hold on to your promise to return early at the end of the day.
Other suggestions are available at http://concernedcounseling.com/Communities/Anxiety/children_separation_anxiety.asp
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Gwensgifts says:
11 months ago
This is a very natural experience for both your child to experience separation anxiety and also for you to feel so torn when she cries. I can remember the same experiences with both of my children and any time our babies cry, we as mothers feel more pain than they do I believe.
My best advice for you is relax and know that this is completely normal and you are already proving to her a great lesson. She knows that she can count on you to leave and come back to get her. I bet if you were to ask your sitter, she would tell you that your daughter stops crying pretty much as soon as you are out of her sight. There is a reason for this.
When babies are young, they only know what they see. As soon as a person or object is out of sight, it is gone for them as if forever. They have no memory or expectation from prior experience that this item or person will reappear. Think about placing a toy in front of a baby and the baby's eyes go big and bright and she is so happy. Take it away and she cries. Show the baby the toy again and she's just as surprised and happy to see it as she was the first time.
Having said this doesn't mean there aren't great ways to relieve some of the separation anxiety. Two of my favorite ideas were sending the child with a favorite blanket or pillow that reminds her of you and sending your child with a book of family pictures that they can look at through the day.
I made both my children a small pillow with a pocket that held a picture of us together. I like to think it helped my children. I know it helped me to picture them hugging a pillow with our picture on it.
Best of luck to you.