Shopping can be wonderful!. But every now and again Denise does it to solve her internal problems. She feels down. She goes shopping. She gets angry. She shops to make herself happier. One day Denise realizes that this superficial way to uplift herself will only last temporally. She doesn't find out that she isn't solving her problems but putting them off. Unfortunately, Denise doesn't figure this out until an overdraft statement comes in the mail. It is the moment that you start shopping simply out of the desire to make yourself feel better that can get you in trouble.. I've learned, through the experiences of a friend, never shop when you're bored. As a matter a fact, go ahead and add: sad, angry, heartbroken, hopeless, etc. Because Denise is a female I will be using the feminine pronoun, so please don't find it presumptuous of me. It is also an unusual situation because Denise is always getting help with her finances from a friend. The problem is, that she continues to need help with her finances. She never appears to be low on money. She always has the latest styles of clothes, eats out a lot, and often lets friends get a few dollars here and there. Yet, those around her don't realize that it is part of a façade.

Recognize it

• You buy out of desire not necessity
• You buy more times than not when watching infomercials
• You are not concerned about how much money you spend.
• Things you purchase do not get used.

Denise has been spending emotionally for about five years now. Although she has learned a lot about how to control it, she has learned even more about how to recognize it. She says that infomercials are the worst. The ability to sit on the couch in her state of sadness and still control a situation was bliss for her. She said that she would buy things according to how she felt on any given day, at any given time. It first started when she had lost her job five years ago and had some major health problems all within days of each other. All she could do was be one the couch watching television. With the remote in one hand and the phone in the other she began making purchases to make her feel better. For her, anything was better than dealing with the reality that had befallen her. She said it started with small items. Items she felt at the time could help her feel better from the condition she was in. A lot of those items included workout videos. Videos that she still has to this day. Some have only been used once till this day.

It wasn't until she purchased a computer, even though she couldn't afford all of her prescriptions, that she realized that something was more than wrong. She couldn't even control how great it made her feel when she purchased something new. Eventually, all of the things she had purchased added up on her credit card becoming a long-term situation she couldn't handle. She realized that she was doing something called emotional spending. She just had to figure out what emotion it was that was causing her to spend uncontrollably. She had a lot to choose from: fear, loneliness, anger, shame, and hopelessness. She was wise enough and strong enough to pick which emotion it was.

Control It:

• Recognize what feelings make you want to spend.
• Don't go to the mall or super centers unless you absolutely need an item.
• Stay off of the computer shopping cites.
• Censor how many infomercials you watch.
• Don't try to prove your friendships through gifts.

There are several ways that you can help yourself get control over your spending if my friend's feelings are in any way familiar. You have to recognize what feelings make you want to spend. Do you most likely feel hopeless? Do you feel almost like nothing will ever go your way if it ever has? If you feel this way, this is not the time to go shopping. Shopping may mask how you feel giving you a short-term fix. Be aware of what feelings push you to spend. It may be instant gratification but that gratification will be gone in the instance you realize what you've done.

The only time you really need to go shopping is when you need something. Yes, I said, "need!" Spend only because something you need is a priority right then and there. My friend says that she knows this feeling when she is shopping but doesn't want to be shopping. When my friend does get into one of those moods that befalls on each one of us from time to time. The one place you won't find her is Target, the mall, or even a fast food place. She put herself first and stopped sitting on the couch with the remote in one and the telephone in the other. She avoids those things at all costs. Even though she had that computer she even stayed away from her normal browsing on eBay. At times, even more tempting than shopping was the façade my friend had kept up. She always felt that she had to portray herself as having more money than she did. She would go out to dinner with co-workers after work sometimes spending the same amount as they would. She spent the same amount but she didn't have the same income. They didn't have all her bills. Be honest with yourself about what you can and cannot afford. Stop acting as though spending money on such things as gifts, treating friends to dinner, and splurging on clothes impresses anyone if it is making a dent in your account that you cannot recover from.

Monitor It:

• Decide whether or not you need assistance with your feelings.
• Get the support you need.
• Find hobbies that won't break the bank.

There is always going to be a price paid for items you purchase. The problem stems when you cannot recover from the spending you've done to make yourself feel better in that moment. You may feel fine in that moment. Truth be known, dealing with the matter at hand would be money better spent. Think of all the money that will be saved when/if you deal with stress, depression, anger, and boredom. Spending won't make your problems go away. There are significant ways that can help you, if that is want is needed. The damage that it will do to your checkbook is not the answer.

Remember that it all adds up. First, it is most important to get control over your emotional situation. If you feel that this doesn't call for anything other than being aware of your emotions, then do exactly that. Be aware of those purchases that don't seem like they will be much, but add up. Sometimes masking the issue by buying a lot of little things is just as bad as buying one or two big things. It may not seem like it at the time but it all comes out of your account all the same, whether it was a small or big purchase.

When you are aware of your emotions it may just be the very thing that keeps your spending in check. Don't go shopping in order to fill any other void then needing to get something. The key word is need as in necessity. It is not going to work to your advantage to spend money on something that is only going to soothe how you're feeling in that moment of time. Also, keep in mind that you do not want to use your finances in order to impress those around you. It is better that you are truthful with yourself rather than get into a situation that will cause you financial heartache later. Besides, your friends don't like you for the best front that you put on but for your best personality.