Don't worry about changing.  If you're like me, and like anybody else in the world, you probably feel the pressure of changing.  There's always something wrong about our lives that needs changing, right?  But often we don't want to change.

I say:  let go of this pressure.  Stop telling yourself you need to change. 

Here's the secret:  every day, every hour, every minute of the day, we are already changing.  Often we're not even aware of the changes we make.  If you try to force yourself to change, and if you use guilt and shame to motivate that change, more often than not it will actually do the opposite: it will trigger worry, fear and anxiety in you, and your psyche will have a backlash. 

You will end up digging your heels in your habits and becoming stubbornly resistant to change -- as a way to cope with the threat that change presents.  But, you see, the threat comes from presenting change as something radical and painful, something that requires so much sacrifice, you can't help but resist.  And the more you resist, the more you have to force yourself to change:  a vicious cycle.  Sooner or later you will break, and binge and rebel by indulging ten times as much in the things you are trying to free yourself from.

On the other hand, if you approach change by easing into the flow of who you are, you will discover that you are already changing. Usually, the human heart and soul are by nature slow-moving vehicles.  You just can't force them to go faster.  Like a horse that will only go at the pace it wants to go, and if you force her, she will either stop and won't budge -- or she'll break loose and run wild.

The moral of this story: 

Stay the same.  Relax.  Be yourself.  Follow your appetites, and if you are attentive and caring about yourself, you will lead yourself where you really want to go.

Consider this a refuge from the buzzing and blooming confusion not only of the Web, but of the World: a place for calm, cool and collected philosophy.

We can never exorcize the static cling of confusion from our lives.  I would be a fool to promise such a thing.  What we can do is center ourselves amid the confusion, the uncertainty, the worry, the aches and pains of existence.  We have that center within us.  We are that center.

How do we get there?  Once there, how do we stay there? 

Well, we can't remain there.  We can't transform the flowing, rushing river into a frozen lake of peace and perfect joy.  What we can do is ride the current, for we are the vessel.  It's no use to keep looking left and right, thrashing around the waves for a lifeboat, your lifeline.  You are the vessel.

I won't pretend that many people, sadly, do not drown in the river of life, or get washed up as wrack on the rocky shore, or go tragically over a fall from rapids that overwhelm them. 

A spirituality in denial about tragedy won't get you far.  Such spirituality will only run out of steam, and out of water soon enough, when the person trying to practice it keeps running up against the tides of life.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't keep swimming, one stroke at a time.  Take it slow and easy.  Don't rush it.  And when you see someone flailing in the foam nearby, lend a helping hand.  Two, or three, are better than one.