In Native American cultures it is believed that you are born with a Spirit Animal. That is, the spirit of an animal enters into a person at their birth. I first heard about this from a friend’s sister I was staying with at the time. She had always seemed a very spiritual person to me, taking bits and pieces from all religions and beliefs of the world and I usually took all of her “mumbo jumbo” with a grain of salt. I am a Christian, a Believer, a person of faith and spirituality, but not religion, if that makes sense to anyone. Anyway, something “clicked” during our conversation on Spirit Animals. An inner fog lifted and I felt clear inside. Again, I’m not sure if I am explaining myself well, but I don’t know how else to put it.

So we are sitting on Sister’s porch talking about Spirit Animals and trying to decipher which animal we each belonged to. Sister was easy for everyone to guess – lioness – she was loyal and regal in a quiet way and definitely protective over her “cubs”. My friend and her boyfriend at the time were a little more difficult to pin. They each went their separate ways into the night to sit alone and meditate. And to be honest, I don’t remember what they decided. But I digress. As I was saying, a fog lifted. I felt clear for the first time in my life. I didn’t have to sit by myself and meditate like the others. As soon as the subject was breached I knew. I had the answer and it all made sense to me. Later we reconvened on the porch and everyone said in unison after some thinking which animal we each belonged to. I think everyone could sense my Spirit Animal almost as quickly as I did for no one had to stop and think as with the others. Actually there wasn’t even the briefest of pauses.

Amid the shadowed boughs of Douglas Fir

I find Myself searching, piercing the night

Wafted to my nose are scents of Alpine and Juniper

I feel eyes on me, from the left or is it the right?

Clinging to branches and blanketing the ground

Moonlight reflects on the newly fallen snow

My quickened pulse and moaning wind the only sound

I sit still, determined not to allow my fear to show

Being closely watched is a constant, uneasy feeling

Unknown as the stranger’s true intent is

Cannot see a foot away, my senses are reeling

I feel trapped; the oppressive darkness is closing in

A nerve shattering sound; a twig snapping nearby

Insistent comes the thought that this might be my end

I sense movement outside my circle; I. Will. Not. Cry.

I fear I will die on this desolate night, my friend

Finally, I think, a glimpse of my tormentor I see

An instant flash of gold caught on a moonbeam

I accept my fate, whatever happens now will be

I release the terror; surrender myself to the unseen

An echoing howl, not menacing but serene

Pierces the otherwise eerily silent night

Eyes now in view; the most beautiful orbs ever seen

A gleam of white fangs grinning, do not instill fright

Warmth embraces me, edging out the chill

A savior is what this stranger turned to be

Enveloped in belonging, he has bolstered my will

My Spirit Animal, my brother, has come to save me.

For as far back as my memory will travel I have been fascinated by and felt an extremely strong connection to wolves. I thought of the wolf as my brother, though I never understood why. I still do. I can remember the look people would give my parents when I answered their question of what is my favorite animal. Your four-year-old little girl likes wolves? Whatever happened to puppies, kittens, bunnies and ponies?  And I would give them a look of my own that said you don't understand us.  You don't know what you're talking about.

Maybe it was the Jungle Book story of Mogli being saved and raised by a wolf clan. Maybe it was the fact that my very first best friend, Nikita, an Akita - Husky mix, looked like a wolf (man, was she gorgeous). Whatever the reason, I just knew. I suppose I had always known.

Now that I have more time on my hands I have been reading on Native American cultures and Spirit Animals in particular. In my searches I was able to find more information on my Spirit Animal and found some interesting facts. I won’t list positive or negative traits or anything like that because I don’t like to brag…nor do I like to broadcast my weaknesses!  Anyway, just today I learned that the Wolf People fall under the Buffalo Totem and their Birth Dates range from February 19 through March 20^th.   And yes, I was born somewhere in there.   The Wolf People’s Stone Totem is Jade.  Jade is another thing I am drawn to.   It has a calming effect on me, but I just thought I liked the stone because I am attracted to Asian jewelry and décor (even an Asian husband!).  Also, the Affinity Color of the Wolf People is Blue Green.  My favorite color is Yale Blue, a deep blue-grey, but my second favorite is, you guessed it, Deep Aquamarine or Teal.  Coincidences?  Probably.   Life is full of coincidences, but I thought this was interesting.   It is as if you were checking your horoscope, but instead of looking up your date of birth, you looked up your characteristics and likes and dislikes, then you find it matches with your birth date anyway.  As if you were pre-designed before conception to be who you are and that is why you are born when you are.  Perhaps I will write more on the subject sometime, when I've had the chance to study more.  If you’re not all ready to commit me by now!  I promise I’m really not completely weird.  The operative word in that sentence being 'completely'.