I haven't written for awhile because I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. There are different kinds of cancer. I had HER-2/neu-Positive. It is a very agressive cancer that quickly went to my liver, lymp nodes and bones. In nine week, my cancer disappeared in my breast and lymp nodes. It disappeared 70% in my liver and bones. It is now stablized and we are continuing with other drugs but we are dropping the chemo.

How did I go from high to low risk? I feel it has a lot to do with what I ate and a experimental drug, I'm testing. There was another ingrediant that I find most people elimate, when they are faced with a tough situation. It is your attidude. When you are angry, upset, or in any negative state, you make it hard for you body to heal.

I kept myself in a state of love and acceptance of my trial and it worked for me like it had numerous times before in my life. Life can be a bowl of cherries, even at its darkest times. Cancer is an life-altering experince. It's a wonderful time to reflect on your life. Most of us will ask questions like: What have I done with my life? What would I do differently, if I could do it all over again? Is there more I want to accomplish? With life being so fragile, we start to look at the future differently. What do I want to do with the time I have left?

The question above, we will usually ask ourselves, plus the question, why me? I left it out because if is the most negative thought you can have. When we are in timeout, we really need to think about out successes. Timeout is an expression that I use whenever I find myself sick or hurt and I can't do a lot physcially. During these moments, we get the opportunity to reflect on our lives.

I've been in timeout for six months and I'm appreciative of it. Before cancer, I was helping others with erasing past issues that they coudln't get rid of on their own. Now, I can't reach out to them. I miss it deeply. In the past, people would come in and leave with a smile on their face. At that instant, they weren't sure if I had helped. They just knew that they felt differently. So I never truly saw how it affected their daily lives. With me being unable to help others, they are telling me how helpful I had been. They're waiting for me to get better becasue they have other issues that they want help with.

We all have an impact on each other that we usually do not realize. The movie, It's a Wonderful Life with Jimmy Stewart in a perfect example. We can positively and negatively impact others. It's a choice that we all make. The question you need to ask yourself: Am I like Mr. Potter who want to control and take what he can without giving back? Taking every opportunity to twist it to my benefit?

Or are we the kind of person that Jimmy Stewart is like? A person with a caring heart, being patiend and long suffering for the benefit of others. If you're a good parent, you'll feel this way. What about others around you? What do they need, and have you seen it or ignored them?

Being stopped from really being around people gave me a new perspective on how we impact each other and ourselves. I'm grateful for the opportunity to witness it. Helping people is an art that many of us lose in the day-to-day world. So what makes it an art? There are questions that we need to be asking ourselves. What is our motivation in helping someone? Do we do it without expecting anything back? Do we do it for the praise of others? The person who does it without expecting anything back is the person who will find the most pleasure from giving to others.

With the economy going down, there are a lot of opportunties to reach out. Even if you are a person in need, I suggest you find someone who needs more help than you do. It's in the true giving that you will find your pains eased and what you need. It might not come in the hour, but it will come. If you have the attiude of gratefulness, it will come back bigger than you imagined.

When we truly give to others, it eases our pain, bringing great joy tto our hearts. If you're emotionally hurting, it's the best painkiller you can take. Today, I have for the first time people all around me reaching out to lift my burden. I feel their prayers and the joy in their eyes to see they are helping me. It's a different experience to see it from person who needs help.

This is a scripture from the Bible that I like. It says: "Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give." Matt. 10:8. It's the giving freely that brings the joy into our lives. It's almost important that we realize the areas that have been given to us. In other words, count how many things are good and right in your life and focus on them. What have you been given? So many times we forget and just focus on what we don't have.

Sometimes, we feel like we have nothing to give. You need to fill your cup. This is one of the best ways to fill it: Visualize putting your arms around yourself. Sometimes, you need to hold yourself until you feel peace in your heart. Remember, you need to put your arms around yourself when you feel lonely, frustrated, or angry. It helps to melt away the negativity and bring you back to the positive emotions. When you are plugged into the positive, you will bring many wonderful experiences and opportunities into your life. You should never forget it.