Just when parents think they have their children figured out, things change. Such is the nature of parenting, and ages six through about twelve bring rapid changes and developments for your child. Entering school, making friends, being influenced by friends, needing and wanting more independence are all major milestones that shape a child’s behavior and personality.

What should parents expect of children at this age, and how can they best help children to adjust to the rapid changes that this stage of development brings?

Children around ages six to seven will be more independent than ever before, due in part to their increasing physical, cognitive, and language abilities. Able to speak in complete sentences, to be understandable, to read age appropriate books, and to communicate clearly, children this age also are busy riding their bikes, playing card games, following the rules, and tending to personal hygiene by themselves.

This time of growing independence is a great time to teach your child about the importance of responsibility, requiring more household chores and allowing choices of which ones he wants to do. Consequences for not completing chores, and positive reinforcement for completing them, will help foster a sense of responsibility.

With this responsibility comes lessons in the value of a job well done, and parents can encourage their child’s self-esteem by offering positive reinforcement and praise for things completed.

At this age, your child should be ready for school, able to separate from his parents, be enthusiastic about new activities, pay attention, and sit still for long periods of time. Parents can help with the transition by meeting with the teachers beforehand and taking an active role in the child’s education.

As children enter the middle to late school age years, about ages 8 to 12, more great changes are in store. This stage is marked by a sense of independence as children begin to move away from the influence of family to that of friends. At this age, that influence is usually limited to things like style of dress or haircut, but this peer influence starts now, so parents should be increasingly involved in getting to know their child’s friends and maintaining a positive parental influence.

At this age, your child is developing his logical and abstract thinking skill and the moral standards that will guide him in the future. Again, parental involvement in decision making is critical, as is giving your child praise and fostering his self-esteem.

Since children at this age want to be more responsible, give your child more responsibility around the house. Praising the positive and redirecting the negative is as important at this age as at any other. Encourage your child to take on new challenges, explore new things, and to exert his independence.

An increased awareness of self and the onset of puberty is a development at this age, so children may want and need more privacy while also wanting parental guidance and consistency. It is a hard line to walk for parents and child alike, but keeping communication pathways open is a good start toward a healthy adjustment during this critical developmental stage.