Movie Review – Star Trek

I really wanted to enjoy this movie. The previews and buzz set this up to be one of those great summer blockbusters that, given the right attitude and suspension of reality you can have fun with. Sadly for me, this was not the case. Disclosure moment: I am not a Trekkie. I have enjoyed the “Next Generation” TV series as well as that segment of the movie franchise, but otherwise I am not a fan.

Star Trek opens with a battle between a Federation starship and a Romulan vessel that looks like it was designed to win a Rube Goldberg award, manned by menacing aliens with Mike-Tyson-like facial tattoos. When the Romulan commander, (Nero) approaches the Fedreation captain, I almost expect him to bite his ear off ala Evander Holyfield. It sets a discouraging tone from the beginning, hoping against hope that the loud, rapid special effects will distract you from the lazy plot development and poor editing. Sadly, this strategy will probably work on the texting, tweeting, teens that make up a large part of the film’s target audience. There was no announcement before the movie to turn off your cell phone. I assume this was because the theatre management knew that viewers could have several phone conversations and text exchanges and jump right back into the movie without missing any important details.

A truly enjoyable sci-fi movie asks you to accept one absurd premise, and then completes the story with enough believable bits that you remain engaged for the rest of the movie. Empathy for the characters has to be developed, or the whole thing nosedives into a loud method of killing a couple of hours. The bad ones pile one ridiculous premise on top of another and try to cosmetically hide the blemishes with a thick slathering of high tech special effects. In “Star Trek”, over 6,000,000,000 people are killed and no one seems to care.

In what was perhaps a throwback to the original series, the movie did make one attempt at a social-political statement which was reminiscent of Captain Kirk’s famous interracial kiss with Uhura. Captain Pike has strategic secrets that the Romulans consider vital to their effort to defeat the federation and Nero decides to use torture to extract the information. Captain Pike is strapped to a board that is suspended over a vat of ….water? As the scene pauses we are sure that the captain is about to be water boarded, but instead Nero indicates that the slimy alien slug that he is holding will find its way into the captain’s brain, release a toxin, and make him tell the truth. I’m not sure if this is the exact same creature used the exact same way in the exact same situation in “Star Trek the Wrath of Kahn” but golly it sure looked familiar.

“Star Trek” did have its minor moments, such as the not so subtle product placements for Budweiser and Nokia, and some humorous exchanges between Kirk and the other characters, but even these were timed so poorly that their triumphs were short lived.

I left Star “Trek” feeling that something was definitely missing, perhaps something that ended up on the cutting room floor. For the casual fan, I’d recommend skipping this one. For the Trekkies, I’d suggest waiting for the DVD release. The director’s cut will possibly fill in the tremendous gaps in the story, and the special effects, (the main reason for seeing such a movie in the theatre) aren’t worth the price of admission.