This hub is written in answer to the last of three questions asked by TamCor at the end of her hub http://hubpages.com/hub/Stay-at-home-mom-vs-Working-Mom--How-to-decide-which-to-be

The question is

 "If your kids are grown, how do they feel about the choice you made?"

I think that this final hub has given me the most joy and it is the one that I haven’t had to write. I wrote an email to my daughter telling her about TamCor’s three questions and I asked her if she would answer the final question for me so that I could write this final hub.

My daughter’s answer was so well written that I asked her if I could just use it as it was for the content of this hub as I know that I could not write anything that would be half as good or relevant as her own words. Bless her heart she said I could so in Sally’s own words.

In answer to your question "If your kids are grown, how do they feel about the choice you made?"

I would answer that I feel very happy that you were a stay at home mum but I think that had a lot to do with the fact that 'you' always seemed to be happy with the choice you made.  I think that had you felt any resentment or reluctance in that decision it would have manifested itself in your attitude and behaviour towards us. 

I have no memory of you ever making any negative comments about being "stuck" at home or "lumbered" with us - I never got the feeling that you had somewhere "better" to be or something more interesting to do. 

I believe staying at home or going to work should be a decision women feel they get to make or choose - unfortunately that is not always the case for many women due to financial or situational circumstances.  With that in mind I feel privileged that you were able to make that decision.

I feel grateful that you made the decision you did because I know, and appreciate, that it was a trade off - you had to make sacrifices.  However, I wouldn't change my childhood for all the money in the world.

I grew up knowing without a shadow of a doubt that I was wanted and loved and that is golden.  I see so many people struggling through life making poor decisions based on a lack of love and appreciation for their own self worth - they expect so little of themselves and others. 

I believe that low self worth comes from growing up without a safe and nurturing home life.  Families take on all different guises these days with single parents, step parents, same sex parents, grandparent parents etc and I truly believe it doesn't matter 'who' loves you so long as someone does and they do so unconditionally, unquestioningly and unceasingly - which you always did.

I personally don't think there is only one 'right' way for women to parent their children with regard to staying home or not. I think there is only one 'right' answer for each mum and only she can make it.

If they make the 'right' decision for themselves they will ensure their own sense of well being which will transfer to their children. It is not the quantity of time that is spent with a child but the quality.

There is a saying I have heard a lot over here which is "When mum's happy, everyone's happy!"

I believe you were happy staying at home with us and that made me happy.  Thank you.  I love you x

As you know from reading this series of hubs I have two children, I asked my son to read both the question and his sisters response to it which he did. I then asked him for his opinion about what his sister had written and if his experience had been any different.

His response was much shorter than his sisters, he said that he felt exactly the same as Sally did about his own childhood but that he could not have articulated it so well as his sister had.

When I see what wonderful caring people my children grew up into I feel an overwhelming sense of pride. Even to this day I receive compliments about my adult children as to what nice people they are and how I should be proud of them.

When I read Sally’s response it was a joy to see the wonderful woman that she has become, thoughtful, intelligent, caring, funny, generous, kind, compassionate, a cat lover and rescuer, a fighter for the rights of the underprivileged, always ready to give anyone a helping hand and a second chance. My son is very similar (except for the cats) but in a much more laid back way.

My choice to be a stay at home mum played a small part in this but the rest of the credit has to go to both of them and is to do with the choices that they made.

This has been the story of one very happy and contented stay at home mum who actually did get to have it all.

My daughter Sally (Sarah in the workplace) is Director of Community Investment at the Rappahannock United Way check out their website below and see how you can Live United

http://www.rappahannockunitedway.org/

If you enjoyed this hub I have put links to some of my other hubs that deal with similar material in the blue box alongside this text.

All these Hubs have the common theme of coming from a Working Class perspective which differs quite a lot from that of the Middle Class and which has virtually nothing in common with the Upper Class perspective.

There is one period in modern times when all three classes had experiences in common and that was during the second world war.

I hope that enjoyed your foray into Working Class England if you did please leave a comment perhaps some feed back or if I didn't cover what you were looking for let me know and perhaps I can do another hub about that,