Should you stay or should you go, and how should

you do it? Will you be alone for the rest of your

life if you leave? Whether or not to leave an

unhappy relationship and strike out alone can be

an agonizing decision for many.

Viewing it from a different perspective will help

you. Below we outline a couple case studies and

show that there are alternative options to

conventional wisdom.

Case study problem #1:

"Alan and I agreed to be committed to each other

even though I felt like he may have been more

interested in financial security (I make well over

six figures and Alan is a struggling musician). He

admitted that he cheated once (but I suspect more).

But he's grown up a lot since then and promises me

that he's changed. I think we have a chance together,

especially since our physical/s.e.xual connection is

so incredible. I think he may be "the one" and worry

that if I don't stay with him, I may miss the

opportunity to ever be loved again."

Traditional thinking and solution:

Believe his pleas about how he's grown up (never

mind that his nature dictates that he needs variety

and that he'll either stray again or be unhappy

being strictly monogamous), bite the bullet and get

married. After all, everyone knows that marriage

improves all relationships and secures happiness;

this is why so many people rush into this legally

binding situation.

Alternative Suggestion:

You're considering a commitment with a man who

cheated on you and who may be more interested in

your money than you? Based on Alan's birth data,

what we intuit, and what you've told us, he's not

the monogamous type or someone you'll be able to

trust or depend on. If you don't make a commitment

with him, are you missing the opportunity to ever

be loved again? We doubt it, but more importantly,

you need to ask yourself if being with him is worth

the misery he will likely cause you both.

Alternative Suggestion:

If the physical/s.e.xual connection is mind-blowing,

but he isn't the monogamous type, you do have

other options besides all (marriage and its

expectations) or nothing (dumping him). Perhaps

he's meant to be in your life in a different capacity,

such as a "friend with benefits" or as a secondary

partner. This arrangement can work if both partners

are mature and honest and have no expectations of

it leading to anything more.

However, in these situations (and all relationships,

for that matter), never assume anyone is being

strictly monogamous or practicing safe s.ex with

other partners. Always practice safe s.ex and use

condoms. That may sound untrusting or paranoid

to some, but we've known too many people

who've contracted STDs, including HIV, from

partners, even those in relationships that they

assumed were monogamous. Don't be foolish.

Play safe 100% of the time. Some people have

good intentions and want to be honest and keep

their promises, but their nature contradicts that;

they simply cannot. Their urges and agendas and

excuses and justifications are more important to

them.

Case study problem #2:

"I have been in a long-term relationship for 15

years, since I was 26. I don't feel my other half is

my true soul mate. However, I'm not sure that I'll

ever find my true soul mate, so I remain with my

boyfriend. He's a great guy, but when people talk

of true love, I know this just isn't it. Our s.e.x

life is pretty much non-existent, and has been for

the last 9 years. I'm worried that if I end my

relationship I'm too old to find someone else, so

I just stay where I am because I don't want to grow

old alone..."

Traditional thinking and solution:

You're past your prime. Just make the most of

your current situation.

Alternative Suggestion:

You two are essentially roommates who

masquerade as a couple. Though it's true that

everyone has many soul mates, he doesn't seem

to be one of your more compatible ones. You're

not too old to find someone else or to enjoy being

single. In fact, we've known many people who

look their best, even very s.e.xy, in their 40s, 50s,

60s and beyond, especially if they exercise often

(including yoga), meditate for stress relief and

awareness, maintain diets that work for them,

such as whole and raw foods, avoid drugs and

excess alcohol, and do internal cleansing. If you

make time to make the most of yourself, you

will reap the rewards. In addition, personal

timing (as discerned through comprehensive

numerology and astrology), not age, dictates

when you'll meet a compatible match.

As far as growing old alone goes, having a

partner now is no guarantee that he or she will

be there later in life, or that they will be a remedy

for your loneliness. Alternatively, invest time in

quality friends and family, volunteer, turn off the

TV, and join groups that interest you, and, or get

a pet.

Everyone is, for the most part, programmed from

birth to believe they need to find the one perfect

person to meet all of their needs for the rest of

their lives. Remarkably, this is often expected by

people in their 20s, when they are too young to

really know themselves. This is impossible, but

many still strive for it and then think they or the

relationship "failed" if their expectations aren't

met. Stop looking outside yourself for love or for

a soul mate to fulfill your every need for the rest of

your life. The sooner you can do that, the happier

you'll be.

If you are alone now or at times in-between

relationships, learn to love being alone; this is your

time to concentrate on other areas of life and help

others with what you've learned. Make a difference

in someone's life and, or the world.

Finally, what is the root cause of your fear of being

alone? Where did it all start? It's not just because

you don't like being alone. It goes much deeper than

that. Find out through regular meditation and, or past

life regression. Regular meditation will also help you

connect with your higher-self and God, and with this

awareness, it will be easier to let go of the unhealthy

fear of solitude. Remember, it's only a fear, one that

you have control over if you choose.

Scott Petullo

http://www.mystictwins.com/

http://www.scottpetullo.com/

Stephen Petullo

http://www.holisticmakeover.com/

Copyright © Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

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