Stay healthy as an Alzheimer's caregiver

Millions of people are finding themselves unprepared for the rigors of caregiving to their elderly parents, particularly with Alzheimer's Disease and other types of mental deterioration. It seems to happen suddenly - one day you're having the usual conversation with Mom on the phone and the next day you are driving to the hospital, tapping the steering wheel in the traffic as you worry about what's about to happen to your family and your life.

There are many sides to this difficult new situation and many solutions to the problems which arise, but the first thing to be aware of is how much mental energy you are about to exert. Decisions will have to be made which are not cut and dry. If Dad is also involved, you may find yourself having to override his desires in order to do what's best for Mom. Siblings can be very helpful or they may bring another element of stress to the table. Everyone is reacting, since this is not a situation anyone can fully prepare for.

This taxing new development can take a whopping toll on your own brain. Making stressful decisions, being in an unfamiliar environment, eating food you might not relish, all of these contribute to a sluggish, fatigued brain. Recognizing this from the start can help you take better care of yourself, keeping your decision-making ability intact, restoring your energy and optimism, and making you more competent overall to do what is needed day by day for your elderly parent.

While you are making decisions and dealing with your own emotions in this face-to-face with the future's potential, you will also need support from friends, family, and the many anonymous helpers who can nurture you and keep you sane through it all. Remember that this may indeed go on for quite some time before things settle down into a new routine that you can live with.

People who come out the other side of this new role with a good attitude and some of their energy intact tend to be the people who seek and accept support from many sources. Your community may have a support group well-matched to your situation, or other kinds of resources tailored to what you are going through.

In addition to the external support, you can make a big difference by setting some daily standards for yourself. Taking that half-hour in the morning to just be with yourself, do some breathing or yoga or stretching, listening to a book on tape or CD, or enjoying music are some of the self-restoring options you have. Most of us know our lives would be enhanced by a little time on a regular basis to just "be." But we often neglect this form of self-support. Now, with the long days ahead you may be facing, this restorative time is critically needed.

If you have traveled to be near your parent, find a place you can walk, stretch your legs, get your brain oxygenated, and be away from the hectic and stressful duties of your day. Taking the time to go see a great movie is even more helpful, if that's something you enjoy. Take yourself out for a casual dinner, even find a local group of interest to you personally such as a book group, a hiking group.

Adding these personal elements to your day will go a long way in helping you maintain your coping abilities. Be good to yourself.