Stinky Socks and Armrests: Surviving Holiday Travel
55Or - How to Entertain Yourself in a Small Space
Forget terrorism, forget delays, forget turmoil in the Middle East. The real problem is in the middle seat. I spent an entire cross country flight in an armed (pun-intended) struggle with the woman in the aisle seat.
She started it. She stowed some things in the overhead and sighed. She took her seat, landing – arms like pointed wings – birdlike. The old sigh and roost technique. She roosted on both rests! The nerve of that old chick! Thus began a seven hour passive-aggressive fight. She flipped pages of her magazine without once moving her elbow. I kicked off my shoes. She put her head in her hand and practically on my shoulder. I cracked my toes. When the flight attendant began wheeling the cart I made my move. She grabbed for that tomato juice and I worked my elbow onto that rest and stayed. Stayed as we traversed Michigan, Indiana, Pennsylvania and New Jersey. My arm cramped but I kept my elbow glued to the plastic due to territorial principle. We taxied and I held firm, elbow aching. I won! I won! ouch I won!**Really, how else can you entertain yourself on a long flight?PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down flag this hub
Comments
Now, an Italian supermodel, that's the way to be entertained on a long flight. :)
Hah, wonderful response to my request. Great hub!
Thanks HelenatheGreat! Glad you liked it.
Hurrah, you won! I cheered you all the while!
Middle seat armed war? lol!
I'm not flying anywhere this year. BUt, I suppose that experience was a good one, I was able to write about it. Happy to make you laugh!
Lowrychris says:
2 years ago
Why do they do that to us? Why do airlines put that little one inch plastic divider between people sardine crammed into the coach section. I hear first class is different, but I have a problem paying a couple of hundred bucks to get trapped on a runway, there's no way I'm paying thousand for that kind of public humiliation. Private humiliation, maybe, sure, but not in front of at least 50 other people.
I think airplanes were designed by people with no bubble. You know what I'm talking about, that comfort zone we keep between each other in America, the one that makes men talk two feet apart. In Europe, there is no bubble. I took a flight with an old Italian man (technically, we weren't taking the flight together, we were just flightmates) and when he spoke to me, we were practically nose to nose. Talk about comfort zones!
It could have been his plan though, to keep me off kilter so he could claim and occupy the arm divider for the whole flight. Maybe he could see me eyeing it, and just before I made my move to colonize the armrest with my elbow, he would start up a conversation, leaning in so close I could count the specks in his hazel eyes. Oh why couldn't it have been an Italian Supermodel?! instead of a WWII survivor.
Now there's an armrest worth sharing.