It does not matter whether it is your best friend since elementary school, your significant other, spouse, family member, boss, co-worker, or your neighbor if you interact with other people at one point or another you have had an argument or at some time in the future you may have an argument. Without a doubt, arguments can be a declaration of war. The objective is to demonstrate that you are right, which means the person was wrong. Unfortunately, this is not easy. In order to achieve desired results, it takes practice and mastery of a few simple skills. In some situations, no one is wrong at all. Does someone really have to lose? Can there be a loser without the feeling of defeat. Yes, this is very possible without leaving the other party feeling dismissed. You can get your point across while minimizing the fallout that can occur when emotions and adrenaline mixed. A negative lead position taken in the form of a verbal assault can intimidate escalating from a simple discussion into a shouting match or worse. This is counter productive and emotionally draining. Definitely, a verbal assault is not the way to go.

In an argument or debate, the ego has a lot to do with this feeling of wanting to win, “to the winner goes the spoils,” without taking into consideration what is really being communicated. The method used to argument or debate a point could mean someone walking away empowered or feeling dismissed. Learning how to between achieving the goal of winning the argument and nurturing the relationship is achievable. Do not allow yourself to lose control just because the other party is in a tirade. The only person who has control over your emotions is you. Never allow anyone to take you out of your zone, stealing your joy, taking you out of your character. There are methodical steps that you can take to ensure victory for example, preparation, calmness, focus on specifics, and control your emotions. If you are already angered, it is better to argue your point once you have cooled off for better results. Staying in control is strategic to effectively making your point. Stay on topic not bringing into the discussion off-topic information. The key is how to argue and quite possibly get what you want without casualties.

The art of teaches how to create a discussion out of an argument that has the potential to intensify. There are many underlining reason why arguments occur and, more than likely, you may have one. If you interact with people, it is quite possible that you have had an argument or two. It can really throw off your entire day. All it takes is a commitment to you to without the help of a little conscious effort to remain calm and reasonable. You must know your purpose. When you react, it is more of a challenge communicating what you really want. Structure your argument to back up your purpose. Make the most of the particulars that support why you feel the way you do about the specific issue at hand. This information is valid and your anchor that you can rely on and refer back to at key points if necessary. In a few words, specify your desire to keep the discussion going in the right direction without going off topic. In a few words, you can make your case. Express what you want, why you feel the way you do or why it is important to you, impart an indication of why it is important to you, and be indistinct. Do not be impervious allowing your emotions to get the better of you. Once you have made you case, you would do well to reciprocate allowing the other person to have their say, listening carefully, pinpointing the issues that specifically address the topic at hand.

Now that you have made you point and have listened to the other side, you have potentially substantiated respect for the feelings of the other person, manifesting an environment that is a less demanding yielding toward a positive outcome. The use of positive language shows attentiveness and interest in what is important to each other, which is a win-win scenario. The actions and words you use make a big difference in any situation. Per Newton’s third law, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” The force that drives us emotionally is the same force that makes it possible for a bird to fly or a fish to swim. Always start out a potential argument with a positive objective statement to make clear your intentions and desired end resulting in the relief of tension. This will pave the path for reason, understanding, and mutual respect and trust.

In conclusion, your body language your posture reinforces your intent. Lean in close to he or she, show attentiveness, and interest in their feelings. Healthy relationships regardless of what type they are must have good communication patterns, and there is a system to put this into practice. A kind word goes a long way. You need to be linked into each other in a way that you can hear each other our. You will win some, but you will lose a lot less. Express your feels with care and concern. Create for yourselves a nurturing environment, tuning into each other inviting the connection between you. This positive outcome will guide you into both a more lucid understanding where you both can foster energized behaviors rather than demoralizing ones. This is an ingredient in your formula for lasting happiness, success, peace, and emotional wellness.

Embrace your star power one moment at a time every day.