Stop Talking
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We all know one. That friend/relative/spouse that won't shut up about themselves. Any time you try to talk to them, they dominate the conversation with talk about themselves.
"Woe is me, my life is crap."
"Yay for me, my life is perfect."
"My kids/car/dog is better/nicer/smarter than yours."
"Here's a detailed report of my day at work."
A dialogue with one of these is a one ended conversation. I'm sure you've come across one or two in your lifetime. Perhaps you even are one.
Time to stop talking...
Nobody likes being on the listening end of someone's self love diatribe. What we usually want to say is, "Shut the hell up. Let's talk about me for a while." But, unfortunately, that response is far different from our typical one of "uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh"
So if you know one, how about deciding right here and now that you will speak up next time. That you will say to your friend, relative, co-worker or spouse, "Enough! I'm interesting, too!!"
Let us make a pact that conversations will be two way instead of one. Stories will be swapped and advice will be both given and received. No more rolling our eyes at the phone or making the "get on with it" motion with our hands. No more fake smiles and head nodding to make them think we are still listening. From now on, we shall make a point to include ourselves in the exchange.
And...If you are one of these people...how about listening to the other person for a change? Maybe you could make a promise to yourself to make every other conversation about the other person. That way you can be polite and allow the other person a chance to get things off their chest and still get plenty of 'you-talk' in as well.
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Comments
love the vid, listening to it now...... sounds like me, i always wanna talk about me...... but nobody listens, only joking....
LOL thanks Jess! :D
Glad you liked it PL, thanks for the visit!! :)
Ahhh, yeah...hmmm...let's talk about poetlorraine! ;)
Great hub...lol
This was very interesting, Janetta, not to mention really funny. Thanks for sharing this one--I'll shut up now :D
Nope, sorry Invictus--gonna talk about me lol
Thanks Dohn! :D
Amazing hub...true though Janetta
thanks livingsta!! :)
Janetta , what the hell am I gonna do ? I got a big mouth !
WHO IS THIS PERSON GETTING ON YOUR NERVES CHICA? NOW I AM CURIOUS! =)
Janetta - I am not very talkative. I usually enjoy when I can let others do the talking. :)
When I meet someone who is much like me, however, I feel that the only way I can think of to make them open up is if I do it myself. So I start talking and talking and talking (about myself) hoping that this in return would make the other person comfortable to do the same. In these cases I usually overdo it, talk too much and end up not achieving anything. They feel I needed to talk something out of my system, maybe they enjoyed that they didn't have to do the talking. But we are nowhere any closer to each other or to knowing each other. What is a way out? How the hack should I behave?
sorry to be coming back, but i saw Pacal here, and a few other friends........ Janetta why is Pacal worrying he is a beautiful person, i get such self doubts, sometimes i need medication, do you Janetta, nothing wrong with that from time to time, there are some beautiful people on here, your hub is so wonderful........ we should all be listining to each other more. xxxxxxxx
I am the one who usually tells them off and humiliates them, in my own way of course. They won't pull that stuff in my presence I won't stand for it anymore.
Hi Janetta, This was a very profound and humorous hub, I enjoyed it and I have enjoyed the song by Toby Keith for quite some time. :D
I have no problem listening, but would also appreciate being asked about how I am doing as well. If that doesn't happen, the friendship doesn't end up lasting long term.
If I listen to someone pure out all their feelings, it is such a turn off when I open up and hardly anything I say is acknowledged. I know then it is time to move on.
Haha Tony, no way! I don't believe it lol...you're so quiet!! :D
JJ--I'll email you a list! LOL :D
Pacal--sounds like you, like many people, get a case of verbal diarrhea lol I think when we are around someone we do not know well who is tight lipped, it makes us a little nervous and we feel we have fill the silence. So we talk...and talk...and talk. It's hard to know when to stop sometimes and don't often see a point we should have until its too late! I'd say when in one of these situations, do as i do. Ask the person questions about themselves (not too prying) and every so often throw in tid bits about yourself. That way the entire convo isnt focused on you, but by offering info as well, you're still letting the other person feel comfortable in sharing. :)
PL, I can't tell you how much I admire you :) You are such a sweetheart and I wish I'd realized that much sooner! I agree, Pacal is an amazing person and such a kind heart! *a big hug to both of you and all the other wonderful souls here* Yeah, I do have PLENTY of self doubts!! Had about with that just last night in fact. We all do, I'm sure thought few will admit it!
way to go CC lol I tend to let myself worry too much about what the other person is dealing with and then I let their feelings override my own. Like, I won't tell them to shutup b/c he just lost his job and needs to talk, or b/c her friend just hurt her...or whatever. but by doing so I just make myself feel worse and build up resentment!
Jen--I love the song too--I kept singing it in my head while talking to someone and new I had to write a hub about it! lol
It is so hard to be in a friendship with someone that seems one way. It has to go both ways. U each have to call each other, ask how each other is, etc.
Janetta - It's so obvious. Really. And I look like a fool, as always. But don't get me wrong, I AM a fool. Unfortunately. :)
Thanks for the reminder. I'm glad I asked.
Janetta - This is a very timely hub for me. I have been going through a HUGE listening phase with people around me and I catch myself thinking why am I. Don't get me wrong I know how it feels to be able to vent to someone but when you are a listener and EVERYONE talks to you about themselves it gets old quickly.
Pacal, you are certainly NOT a fool!
So true, TM..it's nice to be there for others, but sometimes it just gets to be too much :)
I am a bit of both I love to talk and I love to listen with the English speakers I get slightly more listening than talking but with the Spanish speakers I get a lot more listening, that is my fault though as I understand more than I can speak. I loved the video what an apt song for this hub.
LOLOLOL!! And name-droppers.. a huge irritant of mine (relative will remain nameless). Lemme see, what were you saying early on that I liked.. oh, yeah.. everything!
Alan Parsons has a song "Talk about me"(for a minute).. yep yep! Ok, well, Like I said this is good. I'm stalling cuz I want to forward this to about 8 people I know and I'm fighting back the urge to hit the 'Send' button.
Love ya lots Flash!
People love the sound of their own voice...no guarantee they're even listening to themselves!
I am amazed at how people can go on and on and on... Great hub!
This is very true fact! Sometimes, I wanna choke that person :) Thanks dear.
Thanks Maggs!! Nice to see you :D
HAHA CV!! I know what you mean lol Forward away!! Pretend as if you have no idea why they received it...must have been some weird technical glitch lol
FP! Nice to see you ;) I suspect many do not hear the stuff coming from their own mouths lol
Thanks Rehma!! :D
LOL agreed Shamel!! :D
So true, no enigma to it. I got an uncle who never stops talking and has been in every war but he's only 45.
LOL DRG!! :D
Oh shut up ; )
If they stop talking their brains seize up.
Oh no you didn't Healthtip LOL :)
I like your theory nicomp ;)
Well, I'm a little late so won't say a lot because after five hours no one is listening so what's the point. No one ever listens to me anyway... story of my life. My kids don't listen... wait they don't live here anymore that could be why. Okay my husband says he listens which is why I repeat everything three or four times before he says, 'what did you say... I was so listening'. Maybe I should be like Shirley Valentine and talk to the wall... wait a sec I do that already. Yep, it is official then no one listens to me. Well, my cat occasionally will for a treat. Should I shut up now? And Health Tip... don't shut up you say nice things. Okay shut up! There I did it.
Great hub Janetta, it gets you talking... shut up girlfriend!
What was that? I'm sorry Carmen, I wasn't listening. LOL Nobody listens to what I say around here either so I know what you mean. Until 'mad mommy' voice comes out, then EVERYBODY listens! LOLOLOL
Hi, great Hub humorous and to the poing, obviously one that many can relate to. I use to be a Sales Trainer and I would always get a 'sutdent' that would try to out-talk me or out-talk their customers and talk themselves out of a sale. I would always say, There is a reason why we have TWO ears and ONE mouth, we are suppose to listen more than we speak.....;) I look forward to more.
lol I love that dejajolie--i might have to use that one LOL
Great hub,
Robert Ballard
Thanks, Robert
Hey Janetta... won't say too much but thanks... I confess I am appalling... I chat a load of shite if given half the chance! Thanks for the reminder. Shush now! LOL!! X
Hiya Terence! Thanks for the visit :) now be quiet LOL
Janetta... Elena wants to talk about... Elena :-P
Coolio, chica, you nail it, I think we all know someone like that which, every now and then, happens to be ourselves! Laugh!
Now, tell me about your day, you pretty thing you :-*
E, J is content to talk about you all day long, my dear :)
My day, hmm? So far it's been little more than a couple of cups of coffee and feeding eggs to little tyrants lol Pretty soon we'll be getting costumes on the little guys and heading out for Trick or treating! It being Halloween and all ;) then I'll b spending the evening sifting thru the candy they collected and swiping the "good stuff"!! hahaha
Oh Janetta, you have hit the nail on the head! I know a couple of these people, and my husband laughs because I do the hand gestures while on the phone. It makes me feel bad, though. I am interested in what they have to say, but they don't let me get a word in to let them know that. :) Great hub!
lol thanks Lissa! I do the same thing on the phone!! I tend to point a lot like they can see where I'm pointing haha
Lol, yep..I do that too. :)
I know someone like that. My brother, he always has the better everything. I love him but he drives me nuts. Just want him to shut up. You know what they say, you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family.
LOL Fishtiger, I wonder if your brother knows my brother HAHA sounds like they'd get along great! :D
Maybe I will tattoo " Just shut up " on my forehead. LOL
haha let me know how that works out! LOL
I ran into a person a while back who interrupted replies with more talk about himself. As an experiment, I kept talking when he interrupted. It didn't faze him; he just kept talking while I was talking! I was amazed! Finally, I went back to listening until I could make a break for it!
LOL Tom, nice job staying patient with him!! Isn't it unbelievable how some people can be so self centered?!!? Thanks for stopping by!! :)
Just spent some time over the holiday weekend listening to one of those people. He was telling us how he doesn't use crack and how great a father he is because he tells his kids not to use crack. And he was really mad at some people who were going around telling other people he was using crack. He was so mad, he felt like cutting their faces off.
As interesting as it sounds - it was not.
LOL Dolores--sounds like a fun filled conversation!
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