Stop Divorce
60Stop Divorce
Could your marriage be on the rocks?
Are you getting those tell tale pangs that something might be going wrong?
Know that you have the power to nip your divorce in the bud before it gets started. Statistically more marriages are saved than broken.
The first step in stopping a divorce and saving your marriage is in recognizing that things aren't going quite right. Take a break, even if only a few hours alone and away from distractions to put things in perspective. Get clear on what you want and what you think may be lacking in your life. reflect on how your life might have changed for better or worse.
You should be able to get clear on what you want and how you feel, try not to lay blame on your partner.
Once you have your mind clearer then sit down and talk to your partner. Make sure it is quality time with no distractions, if it can be away from the home it would be better. Turn off your telephones and just talk. Let each other talk, try not to judge or react and let the other person say what they need to without interruptions. Try to listen and feel for your lived one.
This may sound simplified but it is really the basis and the only thing that holds any relationship together. If you are not capable of sorting things out this way then there are a few other avenues that you might be able to explore. (these can also be seen on the stop divorce lens)
Marriage counseling - where you get to see a specialist counselor. You will have sessions together and also you will get individual sessions. This type of counseling is often successful due to the fact that if it is undertaken by both parties then there is obviously an underlying desire on both parts for the marriage to work.
Divorce retreats - Where you both get away on an organized short break. Normally residential you get the chance to spend quality time with your partner and also to undergo group sessions with other couples. This often puts all your problems into perspective very quickly revealing the true essence of what really matters in your relationship.
There are loads of new ideas on how to save your marriage at our website www.EndYourDivorce.com
Don't wait until a divorce is imminent before you try to solve it. You can get some great pointers from Divorce Decisions.
Stop Your Divorce Before It Starts
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Comments
Thanks for your comments - You make some very valid points.
You are being very brave in trying to make your lifestyle changes knowing that your husband is not willing to make much of an effort on his part. I feel for you and admire your strength.
W Barnard
great hub. I just posted one today about communication breakdown issues. No one said marriage is easy. I had an aunt tell me once it's about weighing the good days versus the bad days. In the end if you have more good then bad then it's worth it. I don't know if i'm in complete agreement with that. Life is short and you must at a minimum go through it happy. Married or not.
DIVORCE - The Divorce song by billy Connoly
working
Blue Jay Fan says:
17 months ago
Although I admire your optimism, as a married woman who just recently came within a hair's breath of going through with my own divorce plans, I have to say that yes, your arguement is a little over simplified. As a good Catholic I frankly don't believe in divorce. But as a modern woman who also believes strongly in equal rights - it is sometimes not an option. I avoided my divorce, not because my husband and I worked things out per se - but because I 'gave in'. I decided to abide by my vows "in sickness and in health" which I discovered how ill my husband was. He is a stubborn, opinionated and intolerant man who was crushing the essence of who I am at the core of my being. I have had to come to terms with that and make the choice to stay in my marriage regardless. The lifestyle changes we are making will take us away from the main source of his intolerance, but it will also take ME away from the main source of my reason for being - my children. The fact that they are grown and embarking on their own lives at last is the only consolation I can offer myself for my removal from their sphere. That doesn't make it right. It doesn't make me nobel. It doesn't make my marriage a better thing. It just is. We tried counseling, we tried retreats. Some people just don't have open enough minds or hearts to benefit from those. So in the end, it comes down to the steadfastness of (more often than not) the wife, and her sense of what is acceptable to her and what is not. I will continue to honour my husband, to care for him and to make the best I can of my marriage because, quite simply - I gave my word.