While many families are shopping and getting into the holiday spirit, people like myself are going through the blues. I cant remember a holiday season that there was no problems....so in other words I hate this time of year.

Even now I'm going through problems at home. Its more about money then anything else. The economy is back and jobs are far and few between. Just recently a friend a mine called me from Houston, and said that I was on his mind. He said, he was thinking that I have so much talent that I should be using it. And me not using it is just a waste. He said I should be counseling at a church or talking to young kids about my life experiences. I do agree, but it seems that my life is falling apart. To be honest God has not been a force in my life for a while now...maybe thats why my life is so confusing and stressful. I pray often and it just feels like my life is going no where. My wife is doing so much for the family, it just breaks my heart to see her so stressed out. I know this will be hard for some of you that know me to  believe, but I want God to be a big part of my life. Its just I dont know where i should go from here to get my family back on track. But I do realize that God is trying to tell me something....but can I see and hear what he is trying to tell me? Where is he leading me?