The Top Three Stupid Sports
87The Top Three Stupid Sports
I like my sport as much as the next guy. But not stupid sports. In my book, stupid sports are the ones you'd never play or watch from choice, but have to suffer on free-to-air satellite TV in so-called 'sports bars'. Sports with no merit whatsoever save for the ability to distract and irritate.
|
BMX Freestyle (Blazers: to the Extreme)
Price: $3.81
List Price: $7.95 |
|
BMX Freestyle (Torque: Motorcycles)
Price: $14.39
List Price: $20.00 |
|
Hot Iron Transfer Pattern #3129 BMX Freestyle Bicycle (For Punch Embroidery, Needlepoint Canvas, Textile Painting and other Crafts)
Price: $0.01
|
In Third Place - Freestyle BMX
Bicycles are great. For 150 years they have given freedom, mobility and health to literally billions of people worldwide. Within 20 years of its first appearance, the bicycle had evolved, through experimentation and applied science, into an almost perfect extension of the human body. It was scaled to the human frame, with shoulder-width handlebars, a step-over or step-through frame and 27-inch wheels. For the next hundred years, improvements in road bikes were spawned from bicycle racing's constant search for strength and lightness in materials, but the basic proportions were unchanged because they were already perfect.
About 100 years into its evolution, motor traffic had 'evolved' to become such a threat to the cyclist that a new breed of bicycle, the mountain bike, began to appear, allowing the leisure cyclist to go off road. Mountain bikes, too, are human machines. The wheels are smaller and stronger, the bottom bracket higher, the bars wider, and the frame incorporates suspension. But these are all rational optimizations of a perfect machine for a specific environment. The mountain bike is not meant as an improvement for normal road riding.
So, what about the BMX? Well, sorry guys, but it's a kids' bike. It was designed to appeal to the 10 to 13 age bracket. It is proportioned to the smaller body. In fact, the BMX is a good kids' bike - safe, efficient and adaptable, unlike its short-lived predecessor, the fatuous Chopper machine. But there's something ridiculous, almost pathetic, in the spectacle of a grown man, often a superb athlete, perched on his silly toy and performing circus tricks in a purpose built arena, supposedly in the name of sport. Come on lads. If you think you can cycle, buy a proper bike and let's see if you can hack it with the big boys in the Alps or Pyrenees.
WWE Wrestling
In Second Place - WWE Wrestling
Wrestling is an ancient sport. It featured in the original Olympiad, which was a celebration of the grace, strength, speed and beauty of the human body. But even before that, it's impossible to imagine a time or place when fit young men did not compete in spontaneous friendly wrestling of one form or another. It is natural and entirely healthy. 'Wrestling' is even pre-human and has been part of animal behaviour since earliest times.
Unfortunately, when wrestling ceases to be a natural expression of the joy of life and becomes a professional sport, always the rot sets in. In the nature of wrestling, it helps to be heavy. So we soon find our athletes sidelined by the monsters. Japanese Sumo is a case in point. These guys are huge. Strong and quick, yes, but grossly fat too. On the other hand, in its favour, Sumo is more than a sport. It is an ancient cultural heritage, deeply Japanese, and almost impenetrable to the Western mind in its subtlety and sophistication. And, it's real. When these giants throw the rice and step across the rope, the competition is 100% honest. They wrestle, according to their rules, until the best man wins.
Where does that leave WWE? Firmly in the nursery. It is infantile, hideous and monumentally stupid. The pretence that it is in any way real is an insult to the intelligence of the viewer. And there's the key word - viewer. It is not a sport; it is a TV freak show. It was created by, and exists for, TV and TV alone. An apotheosis of bad taste, spandex and anabolic steroids, this latter-day mock-coliseum caters to the lowest common denominator in society. Its very existence degrades us all.
Proper Cricket
In First Place - 20-20 Cricket
I love cricket. I played for years and still enjoy watching and following the game. But cricket comes in many forms. Top of the tree is the test match, or more accurately the test series. For the benefit of non cricket fans, a test series, say England versus Australia, comprises five matches, each lasting five days, and played over the course of a summer. It is not a fast game. It's a game of strategy and developing situations. It is a fascination, not a spectacle. The changing weather and the developing state of the pitch are as much 'players' in the unfolding drama as the 15 men on the field. (11 fielding, 2 batting, 2 umpires).
More recently, to suit faster modern lifestyles and, it must be said, the TV audience, a shorter version of the game has emerged, the One Day International, or ODI. Purists argue, with reason, that the ODI has lost some of the traditional skills of the longer game. Nevertheless, there is still plenty of room for finesse. There is still time to build an innings. There is still a place for all bowling styles. Intelligent captaincy still plays a big part. And, in its favour, the ODI has brought about a marked improvement in fielding skills and the general athleticism of the game. On balance then, the ODI has been a movement for good and, in making possible the wonderful Cricket World Cup, could even have a claim to have salvaged the sport from obscurity.
BUT, we now have a new kid on the block, the 20-20 game, that lasts only a few miserable hours. This is a mockery of cricket. The bastard child of TV and sponsorship with no care for the sport beneath. It reduces the game to a mere slogging match. Everything about it is ugly, from the garish garb to the childish team names (Hyderabad Heroes??), to the aggressive batting stance. Perhaps it is less hideous than WWE Wrestling, less pointless than Freestyle BMX. Nevertheless I still place 20-20 Cricket top of my list of Stupid Sports for the disservice it has done to the world's greatest game.
.................................................................
Postscript - China has included BMX in the Beijing 2008 Olympics. But I'm unrepentant and stand by my position. After all, synchronised swimming is also an Olympic sport!
PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down flag this hub
Comments
I know it's very popular. All sports have their following. It's just not my cup of tea :)
ROTFL. I'm with you on this one Spectacle and sport are not the same and here we have good sports that have been reduced to cheap spectacle. Oh yes, I'd add Nascar racing and roller derbys to the list. Good job, Paraglider!
I love it, Paraglider! The Wooden Sculpture strikes again! :D WWF is pretty stupid, I agree. But it's a multi-million dollar industry, so there must be plenty of room for money in it.. heh
I say, to each his own. Proffessional wrestling may not be a real sport, but occasionally I find it to be an entertaining diversion (if there's nothing else on tv).
Golf would go on my list of stupid sports. I just can't get behind the idea of smacking a ball as far as you can, then going to look for it.
And rounding out the top 5: #4-- Curling (Brooms and rocks on ice) and #5 -- Biathlon (cross country skiing and target practice) come on! Nicely done!
Wow, great list here! But fyi, it's now "WWF" as they were sued by the "World Wildlife Fund" for stealing their corporate abbreviation. They are now called WWE. Still just as pointless, scripted and stupid, but nonetheless they're called WWE!
I can't believe someone would mention NASCAR as being a stupid sport. This just breaks my heart.
The WWE calls itself sports entertainment these days. This is still a good list except for the NASCAR barb in the comments. :P
Thank you Sir Dent. NASCAR is great. I'm partial to all the MO boys, Schrader, Edwards, & McMurray. My boys love Dale JR. he seems to be a decent role model.
robie2, gamergirl, mr, Rob J, wedding consultant, SirDent -
Thanks, all, for reading and commenting. Everyone's list would be different, and it's all a bit of fun. I'm serious about 20-20 cricket though. In the old English phrase, it's just not cricket.
I've replaced WWF with WWE. Thanks for the info, Wedding Consultant.
Another silly sport is the triathalon. We have one in the city where I live.
How could anyone devote their life 24/7 to that self-absorbed nuttiness. It's one thing to be physically fit. It's another thing entirely to let one's life be 'run' by that lifestyle.
At top level, triathlon is a total dedication. But at least it's a participation sport with lots of amateurs just in it for some fun and exercise. I used to do two or three a year and thoroughly enjoyed them. But any list like this is always going to be a personal choice. Thanks for commenting :)
Great hub! I also agree about wrestling. I used to like to watch it back in the 70's when it at least looked a bit more real. Now it is a freak show that is strictly for entertainment purposes. It's more like a soap opera than a sport! I also agree that I would have to add golf to this list. We refer to it as pasture pool LOL.
Bonnie
C.S.A. & Bonnie - thanks both. Wrestling seems to be the controversial one here. I've had comments pro & con. So far, nobody's rushed in to defend BMX or 20-20 Cricket!
Way to advance civilization beyond the level of the ancient Romans, WWE! Actually, if you consider all the Spandex involved, I think you could even make the argument that we're *regressing* from the Romans.
Golf is a pretty dumb sport too, imho, but it's got nothing on the WWE.
Golf is certainly getting a bad press here! Thanks kerryg.
The problem as I understand it is that you and other SPORTS enthusiasts are looking for, well, sports. The things you write about are activities that have been created for entertainment value. They are not sports, but rather action TV, built around a sport. Turn off the tube and BMX, WWF and probably 20-20 would completely disappear. Keep the tube off, bicycling, high school and college wrestling and cricket will keep on going as they always have. But for millions they will never be as much fun to watch.
The problem with Golf on TV is there is no action, so they have to watch the actual sport - which is as boring to watch as it is enjoyable to do. Like many real sports it just makes bad entertainment.
Hi Jason - my point exactly. The true sports eveolved for the players. Some are corrupted by media, at least in some of their manifestations. Some are wholly created for the media. I agree about golf - it's a great sport to play. I'm sure yacht racing is thrilling to take part in, but it's another that loses eveything on TV.
LOL. Too funny. I suppose I would agree.
Thanks Peter!
So funny! I absolutely hate that young kids think WWE is a sport and then try it on each other. My brother-in-law works for them, so I can't say too much :)
What is worse is hanging out in a bar and watching Party Poker for 3 hours because your designated driver is talking to some girl who isn't even into him. You can tell, the whole bar can tell, yet he keeps buying her one drink after the other hoping to get some while you watch some dude on TV win money.
Mike
Thanks Amy Jane :)
Firetown - call a taxi next time?
Number two is definitely one of the silliest things a person can do!
I'll 'second' that! Thanks for dropping by :)
Teehee. Thanks paraglider!
Cheers Colin!
LOL, you made laugh with this one. And I must agree with you about those three sports. I don´t even remember when I last ride a BMX :-D
Thanks funride. After watching the Olympics, I think I should add handball to the list.
Paraglider, wrestling as everyone knows is theater. It's not a sport it's a living cartoon. We had a several professional wrestlers put on a show in our parking lot and it was all staged for the kids-nothing professional or scientific-just clown stuff.
Now synchronized swimming as you mentioned may be one of the world's most unnecessary endeavors. I am not in anyway admiring of a bunch of teens who can wave their arms and legs through the air at the same time while bouncing up and down in the pool. Same thing with the teens who do the hoola hoop and ribbon twirling on the floor. This is just a combination of after school recreation center activities and local amateur theater-it should be banned from public let alone allowed at the big "O."
I was very disappointed they didn't feature target shooting, archery, rafting, etc. Sports that feature an actual skill that one can admire. Maybe they could arrange it for the skilled target aiming athletes to practice around synchronized swimmers. Just a thought.
Hi Patnet - a living cartoon - yes, I like that :) And where would synchronised swimming be without waterproof make-up? Thanks for visiting!
"Wrestling" is a circus act and as long as viewers don't delude themselves into believing its an actual competition, I think it can be excused because it's not actually a sport. It's a show.
20/20 Cricket, well, no comment, I've never even seen a real cricket match so, yeah. Baseball is pretty boring anymore so, I dunno. I'll stand aside for this one.
Oh, and golf.. anyone who says it isn't a sport hasn't played long enough, so, their opinions get discredited for ignorance, even if we still like them as people.
BMX, on the otherhand, is tricky philosophically. Here's the thing... Diving and Gymnastics are basically aerial sports (gymnastics with apparatus) like BMx. Frankly, the pommel horse, the uneven bars... while ostensibly natural in a tree like fashion... are no more likely as an actual physical encounter given the routines that have come about than is the BMX bicyle (which I agree with you looks ludicrous beneath these men). My point is merely to argue the precedent has been established for twisting about in the air as a sport, and, while silly, BMX when viewed from this angle rather than from a bicycle angle becomes more understandible. It's still lame as hell and I'll never watch it ever, but, because I do like to play devil's advocate, I'm tossing it out.
I agree with your choices as not being sport. Now I do not watch BMX and I think it is ridiculous to call it a sport, but, I have to say that when I was a kid, we were just beginning to ride a "wheelie" down the street, or build a ramp in the backyard and see how far we could get, and other things that seemed mighty dangerous to us at the time. It is rather remarkable what they can do now, but it should not be called a sport.
In defense of some other things that have been trashed in the comments, I do not think they should be called sports maybe, but: Synchronized swimming is very facinating to me. Patnet obviously doesn't understand it at all to reduce it to such elementary terms. Uh...did you know they can't touch the bottom of the pool? Which leads me to Rhythmic Gymnastics (you know, that "hula-hoop and ribbon twirling after school local theatre it should be banned from public" stuff. You ever hear of Ballet? Think you could do it? I think not.
Christoph, sychronized swimmers are hawt chicks that are both wet and in bathingsuits and therefore do not need justification for what they do, ever. Please retract any comments you may have made that suggest in any way at all that their efforts are not magnanimous and in the benefit of human kind.
Thanks.
Did I make any comments against sychronized swimmers. No, I did not. Quite the contrary. In fact, I agree totally with you, plus, at the end of their routine they all get out of the pool and march in a single file to the head of the pool to acknowledge the judges while we, the viewer, acknowledge them. Likewise, Rhythmic Gymnastics. The gymnasts who do this are in their 20's, so there is no "I must be a pervert" guilt associated with ogling them. As opposed to the regular 18 yr. old gymnasts (14 in China). Perhaps I should have put it this way to begin with, but was trying to play down the lust factor.
Christoph & Shadesbreath - welcome to the arbitrary debating centre! Surely the top sport is beach volleyball, where costumes have to meet an approved standard of smallness.
A fine point, Paraglider. You are truly a conniseur of sports!
Ahhhhh, a puritan when it comes to cricket. Well for once Paraglider I can't side with you. I'm with 20-20. I have 5 brothers you see and gods help me I was brought up having to endure the game on TV, on the sports field and in our own backyard. I found it immensely boring. The only way I find it interesting is if I was playing it. And while there is now cricket for women I am way past being tempted to pick up a bat and ball.
I have been to one day matches at the MCG (Melbourne's well known turf) just to see if I could get excited. Nope, it didn't happen. I'm very pleased TV's have remote so I can avoid the game.
But I respect the diehard cricket people, they are like an unwavering club of patriotism and stiff upper lipping! But for entertainment purposes 20-20 beats a Test match hands down. I'd be put in the pleb category for taste by saying that. LOL Howzat?
Something funny - in the 2006 Asia Games, held in Qatar, beach volleyball was included but no audience was allowed except the teams and coaches. Too un-Islamic.
Jewels - test match cricket is more of a philosophy than a sport :) Amd it moves at philosophical speed too. I absolutely understand why you might not like it, but I was hooked on it from an early age. I do like ODI and the World Cup though. Just not the 20:20!
I don't think the sync swimmers are performing a "sport." It's performing alright, the kind teens should do at the local rec center on the weekend before an audience of admiring parents. They can sell tickets and give the proceeds to future Olympic athletes who are practicing and performing a real sport.
I'm not the only one who thinks sync swimming is an odd and strange way to spend one's time. One woman wrote on her Squidoo lens that it was frightening and they looked like a bunch of weird clowns. But, hey, if it keeps them off the streets I'm all for them performing in the pool at the local rec center.
Btw, I happen to like regular gymnastics as an Olympic sport and Volleyball, both men and women's Volleyball. This years Volleyball matches made for good TV watching.
I'm right behind you on volleyball (real volleyball, not just the beach variety!) The women's final, Brazil v US was one of the highlights of the games.
ok I don't even know if this is a real sport or not. I came across it by accident while surfing the net. it is Extreme Ironing, as in like pressing your pants ironing. pretty weird.
Extreme ironing - now I've heard it all!
Thats what I thought when I came across it. Heres the link if anyone wants to check it out.
http://www.extremeironing.com/I'm with you on volleyball, Para. Both in agreement with your assessment of the beach uniforms and with y our assessment of that final match. That a great game to watch.
And, lol @ you Christoph. I so know what you mean on the guilt, you have to like, card them before you can allow your thoughts to acknowledge what your body has already decided on.
Paraglider, yes that was a good one. Sort of reminded me of the '84 Volleyball matches if you had a chance to watch those. The 1984 Olympics was one of the best that I can remember-lots of good performances.
Hmm, can't say I remember any specific matches from 1984, though I probably watched some at the time.
I agree with you for WWE Wrestling. Even I feel it is useless, no rules and regulation and no discipline. They do whatever they feel like.
But for the cricket I am afraid I do not agree with you. It is just that they have changed the version of the game by just changing the amount of time it takes. I feel it is OK. I too love cricket but do not have so much of time to watch it completely so a 20-20 game is just perfect for me. And if the match comes on weekends then the one day international is great. In fact I would say it is the best game as it have all versions for all kind of audience. I don't think there is any other sport that has version as cricket has.
But even though I disagree with you but still I liked your Hub. It was good reading it. Thanks for the hub. Joining your fan club
Hi packerpack - thanks for the comments. On a different day, I'd probably have selected three different sports, but this was my mood of the moment.
I can't figure out cricket to save my life, so I have to agree with you on that by default.
As far as wrestling goes, as somebody mentioned earlier, I used to watch it in the 70's. Of course, I was born in 1969, so I was well within their target audience. On the few occasions I've watched it for any amount of time in at least the past ten years, I've found it to be nothing but overly scripted, overly choreographed, and utterly predictable nonsense. It's gotten to the point that I'm annoyed just watching one of their commercials. I don't know how anyone over the age of thirteen can actually watch it and it always amazes me when I come across an adult wrestling fan. So, I guess I'm saying I agree with you about wrestling too.
I have to part ways with you on the BMX subject, though. Without things such as BMX, skateboarding, and rollerblading; we wouldn't have all those videos of guys smashing their skulls against concrete walls and sidewalks and coming back up with bones sticking out of their arms or legs. Now that's entertainment.
hahaha so its all because of mood!! Not a prob so long you write good stuff!
Did not realise that you were a cricket fan, Paraglider - great stuff!
I agree with you about the thinking side of Test Cricket. Much like chess - it is one of the few team sports where there is a genuine gladiatorial confrontation. Batsman and bowler using psychology to try and gain the upper hand. Whilst I like to see West Indian pacemen use aggression and intimidation, I also appreciate the patience and cleverness of a skilled practitioner of the dark art of spin-bowling.
Sadly, 20/20 lacks this - it is all about who can bowl faster or hit the ball harder! Might as well watch baseball.
EyeM4, Packerpack & Sufi - thanks for commenting three months ago. Somehow I missed it till now!!
Interesting hub. I enjoyed reading it and the funny comments. This one is evergreen!
Thanks Gypsy Willow - I'm losing the battle over T20 Cricket though. It's getting ever more popular!
I don't understand your thoughts about bmx. Small bikes, not atlhletes, no skills ?
I am 37, i have seen this sport growing, people on bmx are world champion or olympic champion on track. I guess it is a salon discussion. If you go with a small bike on bmx supercross track you would not be able to finish it and me neither. It is so technical, there is also a lot of strategy. I won't convince you I know but what you say is stupid you are mixing bmx race and bmx freestyle. What the media are showing about bmx is only images with crashes and rock music, it is not the sport. bmx is great when you jump in the forest where you built your own jumps and get in the at 3meters high and 6 or 7 meters long. you feel free no engine just the sound of wheels on dirt and then nothing you are in the air the time stops you feel the nature, it is a great human feeling...believe me or not
Sacha - This isn't really a serious hub. It was triggered by 'extreme sports' on afternoon TV in a local (Qatar) bar. I don't doubt that bmx is great for the participants, but I just find it very dull on the box. (As you've probably guessed, I've done a bit of conventional road racing in my time).
All sports are stupid. They promote violence, alcholism, and increase the cost of health care due to stupid sports injuries.
Scuba_steve - I disagree. Sports injuries cost far less than caring for the terminally unfit.
I'm not sure if I would label golf as a sport myself.
heydave - golf has come in for a bit of stick in the comments to date. But I think you'll have a hard time convincing its fans that it's not a sport ;)
bike is wonderful thing
wrestling, well it is barbaric--like the sports of the old civilizations.....people feeding people for the lions to eat,,,,but wrestlers are good actors too, they just act and do drama...one thing more rugby---it is very physical....
Rugby is certainly very physical, but it's played by very fit and strong guys who want to do it. And it's a good spectator sport too.
I have found personally that life is too short for golf, but I don't begrudge others the "pleasure." Off-road biking in general is very good exercise and fun to watch, but it is unnerving during peaceful walks in the woods to be overtaken by panting, mud-caked cyclists. All in all I am behind your choices ninety-nine percent. :)
Hi Jess - Off road biking is great, but the one that annoyed me into writing this hub was the indoor bmx stunt riding. Skillful & dangerous, sure, but wholly contrived for TV.
Ahhh but you have failed to leave out the most ridiculous sport to date; Pole Dancing!
We don't see too much of that here in Qatar!
topstuff says:
2 years ago
Though you call wwf wrestling a stupid sport but i like to watch it.