The sigma attached to online dating is so very 1990s. These days it is common—expected even—for singles to take a foray into dating online. But finding that special some one over the internet is a skill. Like public speaking or playing the piano, online dating is an activity that can be done well or badly.

Here's some expert advice to help you do it well:

Approach your entry into the world of online dating is like you would a trip to a foreign county—with a sense of adventure and without expectations. You are in it for the journey and for the new experiences, not necessarily for a particular outcome.

Your success at online dating says absolutely nothing about your success as a person. Which is great news. It means you are totally free to have fun with your online dating! Embrace the absurd aspects of it (and there are many) and be open to whatever your online dating journey should bring your way.

If you read nothing else of this article read this:

Choose the right online dating site for you!

You wouldn't hit a Manhattan single bar scene if you were looking to date a cowboy. If you are seeking a sophisticated urbanite then Wyoming is not so much for you. So it is with the various online dating websites—each one attracts different sorts of people. You got to sign up with the website that has as its members the sort of people you are looking for.

So what's the best online dating website for you?

Read our review of the best online dating sites and find out.

At a bar, or a dinner party, attraction almost always starts with the physical before it proceeds to matters of personality and compatibility. Online dating works the same way.

When you sign up with a dating website you should absolutely upload at least one photo of yourself, and preferably several. It is extremely hard to be successful in online dating without posting a photo. (If you are in a position in which you feel you can't post a photo—because you are a public figure, for example—then make sure you explain that in your profile).

Now, just because you should upload a photo of yourself that doesn't mean it has to be a typical portrait shot. Choose photos that accentuates your best attributes. If you have alluring eyes select a photo that shows them up close. Got a killer figure? Show off that photo of you at the beach. Conversely, if there are aspects of your physical appearance you aren't wild about you can hide (or at least minimize) those. If you don't like your hair choose a photo of you at the ski slopes wearing a hat.

As obvious as the sounds, choose photos that are bright and in-focus. If the photo of you is dark and blurry you are, in essence, telling the world that you are dark and blurry. This is appropriate if you have Gothic interests but doesn't fit so much if you are a bright and cheerful soul. Which brings us to . . .

. . . choose photos that fit with your profile description. If you are a sporty type (and want to attract people who find that attractive) then show a photo of you being active.

Finally, be aware of the color pallet of your photos. (Most people can't pull off yellow.) Between you and me, there's something alluring about a good black and white photo. If you don't have a photo of yourself that's already in black and white you can make it such with virtually any photo editing software.

Most online profiles are absolutely dreadful! So much so that we are compelled to start with a list of things you should NOT do when writing yours:

Do not make obvious, banal statements like "I love to laugh and enjoy having fun." Everyone loves to laugh! Fun is, by definition, enjoyable.

Do not make a laundry list of qualities you are looking for in your future significant other. Don't write, for example, "I'm looking for some one who is sweet and romantic and successful with a great sense of humor." Having high standards for your relationships with is fine; announcing them so blatantly online is not. First, not everyone who is sweet, romantic, successful and funny thinks of themselves as such. And even if they do, your demands for those qualities makes you sound extremely difficult to please. If you absolutely must is it okay to hint at the sort of qualities you are seeking. But your profile should be 80% or more about you.

Along those lines, do not make a list of activities you enjoy if that list comes with even a hint that your significant other must enjoy these activities also. Again, such a list will make you sound overly difficult to please. It will also turn away people with whom you might be perfectly matched to you. Really, if you were to name 10 bands you like and some one reads your profile and likes 9 of those bands but dislikes the 10th then that some one will probably not respond to your profile. Because this some one, likes you, want to be in a position to succeed with their date. No one likes feeling like they have a strike against them from the start.

Unless you are consciously trying to be ironic, do not write about how much you like to take long walks on the beach.

So what should you do with your profile?

Be intriguing.

Start by writing down on a piece of paper the qualities that your significant other might find attractive in you. Don't be shy with your list. This is for your eyes only.

Next choose the two~three~four~five qualities from that list that you want to stress in your profile. Pick the ones that are most important to you, the most superlative about you, and also those that are most rare.

Now, write a profile that SHOWS your best qualities, as opposed to listing them outright. Use visuals whenever possible. Tell a little story.

For example, if you are outgoing, great with kids and have a strong sense of humor then don't outright say that. Instead, start your profile with something like I hosted a dinner party last night and had my guests laughing at my stories about my young niece. That one visual sentence hits all three of your qualities.

Here's another strong start to a profile:

Last week I was on a trip to Paris. One night, during a stroll along the River Seine, I noticed all the couples holding hands. I decided then to try at online dating.

Look at all the information in those few words. This person sounds successful and well traveled. This is the sort of person who strolls along rivers (and so is probably calm and even tempered) and who notices hand-holding couples (and so probably romantic). And this person, without saying it in so many words, is indicating that he/she is looking for a serious relationship. There's also some intrigue to this person—why was the author in Paris to start with?

In the end, it is good news for you that most online dating profiles are dreadful. With a little effort and creativity you can really make yours stand out.

Surprisingly often, people make contact through an online dating site but then never do more than exchange a few emails. Perhaps they worry about seeming too eagar. Perhaps they are uncertain about each other. Perhaps they aren't sure how to take that next step.Regardless, don't be afraid to meet potential partners in person.

Your first date needn't be a romantic dinner at a schmancy restaurant or a weekend trip to Vegas. In fact, it shouldn't be anything so formal and pressure filled.

Instead, arrange a first date in an informal, public and time-limited setting. Meet for a coffee on Saturday morning, for a happy hour drink after work, or for a quick lunch during the week. If there's a short activity you can do together—checking out an art gallery, for example—then great.

The reason to meet in person with anyone who could conceivably be a match is that it is impossible to know what you might have with another through email alone.

And the reson to make your first date brief is because it won't take you long to figure out whether there's chemistry between you. If there's no chemistry you may not want to be stuck with your date for any longer than you have to. If there is chemistry, there will be time for the romantic dinners and long Vegas weekends later.

If you follow our advice—if you choose the right online dating site for you, upload at least one alluring photo and write an intriging profile—then you will meet other single people.

And if you really follow all of our advice, you will go out on several first dates.

Some of those first dates are likely to be bad. Comically bad, maybe. Savor these: They will make for stories you'll laugh at one day.

Some of your dates—most of them, probably—will lead you to people who are extremely nice and pleasant but with whom there's no romantic fit. That's okay too. These people will make for potential friends.

Keep at it long enough and you'll eventually meet some one who will make for a romantic partner. You will. Lots of people find boyfriends and girlfriends through online dating sites. A surprisingly large number have found husbands and wives. You can too.

It is all a journey. Which circles us around to the first step for successful online dating: Go forward with a sense of adventure and without expectations.

And with that, we wish you good fortune, dear reader. May there be romance in your future.

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