Suicidal lovers and mentally ill mates
66Suicide, guilt and the mentally ill
On this topic I can not claim to be an expert, but I can point out some serious flaws in our thinking on this matter.
Once upon a time I started writing a book called "society's unhealthy obsession with mental health" After much research and thought I drew a few theories on this issue and perhaps they can help you find an answer.
First let's explore suicide. Ones attempt to remove themselves can be brought about by many things. Be it religious fanaticism, despair, intoxication, etc. I tried finding some statistics but found all sources to be in contradiction with each other. So, let's go with what we think we know. It is hard to answer such a general question but the feel I am getting is that your may or may not have a nut-case boyfriend or girlfriend who may or may not be suicidal. For this reason and maybe others you wish not to be wish them but perhaps fear that dumping them may push them over the edge.
First and foremost, let me give your head a shake. If a person really wants to kill themselves, they will do it regardless of your actions. Do not let your ego convince you otherwise, as a person willing to destroy themselves is seldom thinking of you. Unless there is some religious aspect or a form of martyrdom involved a person is beyond caring about you when the moment comes.
There are many cases whereas people threaten mates with suicide in the hopes that the guilt on the other persons part will allow control over them. This kind of guilt tactic is used to lesser and greater degrees all the time in relationships. It has been used to the lesser degrees so often that it has become a common parenting tactic to guilt children into good behavior or at least some semblance of control.
Now, if in your question you are referring to the mentally ill as someone who may or may not commit suicide, you may now set aside your ignorance and be at ease. Suicidal tendencies are not a mental illness. They are the result of a form of mental acuteness. Few people are aware of their surroundings and fewer still are sensitive to them. With the level of guilt, desperation, greed, passion and all other emotions, its no wonder that one could be overwhelmed. And overwhelmed is what a suicidal person is. There are those among us so empathetic that they can not enter a public building without being overwhelmed by the oppressive nature of existence in which we all dwell.
Many people use the term mentally ill for a great many things. Keep in mind, many of the geniuses so famous today were by today's standard mentally ill. Quite often we see levels of retardation mixed chaotically with intense understanding and unique ability. Before you go to think of metally ill as a negative, understand the positive and drop the stigma attached to our vocabulary.
These are my thoughts and theories on this matter and I would love to explore them further with any interested party. Thanks for reading
Scott
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Comments
David, You touch on a funny principle of society. Many times when one tries to remove a certain stigma through public mediums, it only serves to further ingrain the stigma into the minds of the people. Certainly enough we could aim for targeting the term "Mentally Ill" as politically incorrect. Censorship however will not improve things, in fact we need the opposite. We need every "mentally ill" mind to step into the light and be known for their good as well as their bad. Acceptance comes with understanding and understanding comes with exposure.Â
Nice piece! I hope to see more! I am so glad more people are writing about Mental Illness, depression and all that.
And as far as the stigma of being mentally ill, well, guess it goes with the territory. Folks are usually afraid of what they do not understand.
Welcome to our community!
Nice hub. I have been coined as mentally "unstable" because I have attempted suicide a few times. I'll have to write you hub about my experience. :)
Tootles!!
Something that needs to be said, and you are negligent for not saying it: Suicide is NEVER the answer.
Many mentally ill people are perfectly functional and an asset to society in every way. However those who can be a harm to themselves or others, need help.
It is you who need give YOUR head a shake Scott, what if the person contemplating suicide feels alone, and your simply showing concern gives them hope that its not ALL bad. I think you should ALWAYS show compassion. By saying that people who are going to commit suicide will do it regardless of intervention is irresponsible and shameful.
Furthermore, suicidal tendencies ARE most definitely mental illness. Suicide comes from depression and depression IS mental illness. Not all mentally ill people want to commit suicide, but those who want to commit suicide ARE mentally ill.
To speak to the original request, if your lover attempts suicide, get them professional help. And just because someone is mentally ill is not ground for breakup, many people can live with and cope with their mental illnesses, however, if the person in question is NOT getting help or coping with their illness mental or otherwise, that can be a deal-breaker for most couples.
Scott Mandrake, please think before you speak, you need to be MUCH more responsible when offering your opinions about such topics, you are certainly not an expert. And I hope that any one who reads this will agree it is I who have pointed out serious flaws in your thinking.
Knowingest J. Drawbridges,I appreciate your input more than you can surmise. However, your entire statement is based around the unexplored value of death, or in your opinion, the lack thereof. Your emotions tell you suicide is never the answer, though there is simply no way you could know that. You believe it is so and that is enough for you, as it should be. Furthermore, depression is not, I repeat NOT just a mental illness. Depression can be chemically induced, it is unstable and unpredictable. If we were to view every person's instability as a mental illness, we would have a lot of hormonal women locked up in the rubber room.You say that those people who wish to commit suicide are mentally ill. Where are you getting this information? You seem to have a deplorable lack of perspective here as many suicides have a practical aspect to them. For generations, samurai would commit ritual suicide in the name of honor. Others, such as those in chronic pain, with no other form of relief, would view suicide as an act of humanity. In conclusion, I can see you are pained by the idea of suicide. Is it that you have tried it? Have you lost someone close to you in this manner? Your judgment of this act is obviously personal rather than a matter of research. I hope you find the answers you are looking for, and peace in doing so.Scott
Scott, what I find deplorable is the fact that you write a hub, inside of a implied scope, and then proceed to chastise me for staying with in it. I have only myself to blame for letting it come to that, I knew, when writing my comment that you would take this stance.
So we are clear, I am not speaking of ritual samurai suicide, nor am I thinking of mercy killings or living wills, NOR am I thinking of the spy who chooses the cyanide capsule over tortuous interrogation. <scoff> PLEASE!
We all get ill from time to time, mentally or otherwise, have you never had a cold? You get ill for a short while and then you are better. But, make no mistake that depression IS indeed a mental illness.
In pretending that there is an "unexplored value of death" you are obviously forgetting that there is a "proven value in life".
You: "Where are you getting this information?"Me: Here is some research for you ...I hope you recognise one of these two sources as capable of making such a diagnosis.
The National Institute of mental Health. http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/i The first line of which states "Depression is a serious medical illness".
National Alliance on Mental Illnesshttp://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=By_Illnes/TaggedPage/TaggedPageDisplay.cfm&TPLID=54&ContentID=26414
I am entertained by the fact that you are obviously so calloused to human life, however, you wax concern in your conclusion. And I can only comment to the following with "BOLLOCKS!""Your judgment of this act is obviously personal rather than a matter of research. I hope you find the answers you are looking for, and peace in doing so."
I will, until it bores me, be watching your hubs closely. Making sure that your opinions do not go unchecked by reality.
p.s. I look forward to your response.
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david says:
12 months ago
I agree. Yet i think severe depression alone can cause suicide
Your point on stigma is great. could you suggest how the
people coined as mentally ill can erase the stigma