It's all about confounding trivia. Creating a dense cloud of befuddlement and disarray in the ranks of the enemy. . . .

I believe I have discovered an under-served, unexploited market. This is the mad scheme that may finally make me rich. This method may render the "bad back" and "fibromyalgia" and other exculpatory conditions, totally obsolete.

Ne'er do-wells, lazy butts, raconteurs and diletanttes, criminals, lay-abouts, debt dodgers, men behind on alimony and child support, adulterers, folks about to have their power cut-off, starving freelance writers, and lots of other people I can't think of right now (of which there are many), frequently find themselves in what are idiomatically called "tight spots."

Basically, it's all about buying time and avoiding the consequences of their ill advised decisions.

I really think I might be onto something.

These desperadoes are always in need of new material, because if they've got a good dodge, soon everyone will be using it too and then it's not good anymore.

So, for starters, here are a few bombs sure to confuse, baffle and provide cover for an exit.

Assume the sheriff is at the door, the power company, or the bank has called about an over-draft. Stressful situations, surely. But you just need a little time, right? So wait for a pause in the conversation and then . . .

"Ahem," you might begin, "were you aware that . . . .

The number of axe murders has dropped every year since 1970, but the number of machete murders has quadrupled since then?"

The Aztecs invented rhinoplasty?

The praying mantis is the only insect able to stand on one leg?

Galileo drank a glass of warm blood every night before bed?

Four leaf clovers are caused by the same genetic mutation that causes conjoined twins?

Cream cheese can be used to treat migraine headaches?

Abe Lincoln was arrested for defecating in public when he was 17?

Field mice always sleep facing northwest?

The loser of a medieval jousting match was expected to offer sexual favors to the winner?

Cannibals in Peru have 17 different recipes for cooking a human head?

Hemingway wrote the first chapter of The Old Man and the Sea while sitting on the toilet?

Astronaut Buzz Aldrin left a copy of Playboy magazine on the surface of the moon?

Professional sumo wrestlers pay income tax based on their weight?

Attila the Hun wore a toupee’?

The U.S. Constitution contains four sentence fragments?

Twelve canisters of scented anal ointment were part of the cargo of the Mayflower?

At the first Thanksgiving dinner, the Pilgrims ate every part of the turkey but the feathers (including feet and beak)?

Army ants keep other species of ants as pets?

Most bank robberies occur on Tuesdays? (This one is really effective if  1) you're waiting in line at a bank to see a teller  2) an obnoxious, talkative person is in front of you and won't leave you alone, and  3) it's Tuesday.)

Let me tell you, I am deeply indebted to http://www.Factropolis.com for these verbal grenades.  I have found a wonderful new way to waste time, procrastinate, and dream about becoming filthy rich.