Surviving and winning after child abuse

My story

I was sexually abused by my father from my early childhood until my late teens. But, I don't want to dwell on that, I am not saying that is all forgotten because it never will be but I have learned to live with it and to gain great strength from the fact that I survived to become a strong, independant woman who is now a wife and a mother and who has a great career.

So how did I over come this? One of the biggest things was accepting that it wasn't my fault, and that one took a while. When you have been programmed for many years to believe that it was your fault getting rid of that feeling is hard.

I got help!!!

Firstly from a behavioural therapist in the early stages and much later on with the help of a hypnotherapist. I didn't use just anyone, I got a recommendation from people I trusted. You have to want to heal also. If you think, well this is what happened to me and my life is screwed, then your life will be screwed. I think, this happened to me, but, I am not going to let it ruin my life!

I have also surround myself with people who know how how to live life. I went off the rails for a while, partied hard, treated some people very badly, but eventually came around to realising that I needed to calm down, wise up and get settled.

I still have my ups and downs, I almost lost the plot completely just after the birth of my second child, but I keep going back to my coping mechanisms, my therapist, my friends and family and I get over it. Life is just too short to let things get you down for too long.

So that's me. If anyone needs help with this please email me.

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Denny Lyon says:
12 months ago

A wonderfully written heartfelt hub! You are right, it's a struggle sometimes in the beginning, and yet, when you cultivate your joy, that gives you the strength to heal. It also helps to have a lot of years' distance from the series of events. Life only gets better and better as you cultivate better.

You are a fabulous person to take the time and write about such a difficult subject. Perhaps you might like to continue with a hub about how others who have not experienced abuse or this type of abuse can be helpful to those who have? It is surprising how much people really don't understand. You would think you are stating the obvious yet there are folks who don't know obvious.

Again, congrats on some great advice for those who may be suffering and wondering how to get up their courage to deal with it.

Crystal says:
8 months ago

I've been sexually,verbally, mentally, and phisically abused when i was 6 years old by my babysitters sons. the only person that stood by me through all those years was my brother,we didn't tell our mother because the babysitter claimed she would not babysit for us anymore and mom would have to quit her jobs.the abuse lasted for 7 years till my brother and i stood up to her and her sons, we finally told mom and the babysitter isn't aloud the babysit for no one anymore. now im 30 years old, and those awlful memories come back every now and again but i know now that it wasn't my fault.i know that i need to move on with my life,but sometimes its hard to do when the bad memories overcome me.

kerrythecook says:
8 months ago

Thanks for sharing Crystal. I'd like to say well done for sticking up for yourselves. It's not an easy thing to do, it took until I was 19 years old to do that. I'm also really happy that you had your brother for comfort and support. I'm sure you are really close now. As I said above, I the awful memories do not go away all together, they raise their ugly head sometimes, in dreams or when I see something on the TV or when my children ask about my parents and why I don't see them.

You are a survivor and that's an amazing thing. Keep sharing, there are lots of people out there that need support and encouragement.

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Preventing Child Abuse & Neglect
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Prevent Child Abuse America
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Child Abuse Prevention Network
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