There is nothing better than lying out in the sun, basking on pool floats, and sipping a martini. Seriously, what could be more relaxing than that? It’s what so many of us work our whole lives to be able to do. I love to just lazily float all around on the water, letting the warm sun hit me while the kids play nearby.

All of their shouts and yelps just fade into the background as I enjoy the feel of the mild breeze slowly rolling in off the Pacific Ocean.

Pool floats have been around as long as any other thing I can think of that you would use in a pool. Just imagine it: you’re sitting under an umbrella enjoying yourself, and then someone brings a float to you. What do you do? Well, I’ll tell you what I would do each and every time: I’d grab it and hop into the water.

Once in there, I’ll lie down on it with my drink gently positioned in my right hand. I tell the kids to not bother me for an hour and then I am finally able to have a true moment of peace, just floating around in no particular direction, with nowhere to go and nowhere to be. This is Heaven if you ask me.

As soon as summer hits every year, I truck off and go down to the shore. There’s always one thing I stop for on the way down, however. Do you know what that is? It’s sort of a tradition in my family. Yeah, that’s right: I park in a parking lot and then I walk into a beach supply store. I pretend to look around but the whole time I really know what I’m there for: swimming pool floats.

I buy some and then I get back in the car. All my kids are whining and I just tune them out, because I know we’ll be at the resort soon. This is why I work all year, just to get to be able to spend a week floating around in a pool. There’s no way I’m going to let my little brats get in the way of that. Even my wife I won’t let me bother me while I’m out on the surface of the water. She knows better and she leaves me alone… for that hour.

You know what I else I sometimes have to pick up at that old beach store? A baby pool float. Yeah, that’s right. For the longest time I didn’t even know they existed. But then one day after we had our last child, my wife pointed it out while we were shopping. I couldn’t believe it! They’ve thought of everything now. Anyway, I had to buy it, because there’s no way I’m going to keep my kids from experiencing the loveliness that is pool floats. They deserve at least that, in my opinion.

More Fun with Pool Floats

There’s another thing you can do with swimming pool floats that a lot of people don’t even think about, but it’s so much fun. I like to play King of the Mountain on them. Of course it is always simply hilarious to stand up on a pool float and try to be steady. It’s almost an impossible task, if I do say so myself. Once up there, I challenge my family to try to knock me off. The kids always get a rolling laugh out of this.

You can’t really stand up on them; you can only sort of crouch-stand, and that’s what I do. Just be careful not to fall on top of anyone’s head. That can end in catastrophe. But I am much more careful than that. I’m very gifted in the pool. I’m sort of a Michael Phelps of inflatable pool floats, if you have to know. (And no I don’t hit the bong.) He is my idol when it comes to having fun in the pool while performing at a peak level. This is really what it’s all about. You have to be a good role model to your kids if you want them to listen to you when they are teenagers.

I can already hear you asking. Let’s just say this: a lot less than video games. Actually, they’ll probably cost you less than a case of beer. I mean, they’re not made out of the most exotic materials, nor is their design super-complicated.

The manufacturers have had decades upon decades to bring down the price so that we all can have as many inflatable as we could every possibly want. Anyway, have a great time this summer! See you at the pool. (And remember to always be safe while having a good time.)

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