Chapter 12

Thinking and Living Outside the Box

Society seems to be in a soporific stupor when

it comes to the state of our nation’s educational

system. Despite widespread reports of school

shootings, declining academics, pathetic SAT

scores, inadequate teachers, and text books

filled with errors, parents are still turning

their children over to the State for 13 years

of instruction!

There are feasible educational alternatives for

those willing to explore and exercise their options.

Iím familiar with the usual objections---I canít

afford private school for my kids, Iím a single

parent, my spouse and I both work so how can we

homeschool, I donít know if I could teach my

own children etc...

Is it really possible to live and work in the real

world, plus educate your own kids, and do a good

job of it? As a single parent and homeschool

teacher, let me assure you, it can be done, and

with great success as well.

First and foremost, you need to establish your

priorities.

For example, what is more important to you, your

kids, or the almighty dollar? Do you really need

to be a two income household?

Studies have shown that a mother working

outside the home may be, in reality, earning

little, if anything at her full time job. A

second income generally raises the couple’s

tax bracket, increasing their debt to the IRS.

Daycare can be very costly. So can owning,

insuring, and maintaining a second car, paying

for city parking, buying a work wardrobe, and

eating lunches out. By the time you deduct

all those expenses, and others I may have

overlooked, mother’s paycheck has been

whittled down to nothing!

Credit counselors will also tell you that

although couples say they need to have two

incomes to get or stay out of debt, they

rarely accomplish that goal. Instead,

they become enamored with the larger amount

of money coming in, and raise their standard

of living. Soon they are spending to the very

limit of their income, or begin accruing more

debt. Then it becomes necessary to have two

jobs just to keep afloat, and they are trapped

in a vicious cycle of never ending, high

interest payments.

Ask yourself: Can I reasonably scale back my family’s

lifestyle without creating hardship? Sure you can!

Try owning one car, not two. Or have good quality

used ones, not new ones. Better yet, use public

transportation, bike ride or walk! Buy groceries

in bulk, grow and can some of your own food, clip

coupons, shop at second hand stores, yard sales,

discount retailers, wholesalers and outlet malls.

Rent a home instead of buying one, and free yourself

from mortgage payments, property taxes, homeowners

insurance, and the possibility of legal liability

if someone is injured on your property.

Also ask yourself, could doing this actually be

good for my family? Definitely yes!

Less debt means less stress and less arguments..

( Did you know that in 80% of divorces, the

biggest cause of marital strain is financial

problems? ) There are also valuable lessons

that you can pass along to your children,

like valuing relationships more than things,

budgeting money, identifying true needs versus

frivolous wants, and being a wise and

responsible consumer.

There is a lot of great information out there about

how you can have an excellent quality of life without

being a slave to debt. I suggest you try looking

into the voluntary simplicity/wise use movement

and some frugal living resources. Two excellent

ones that come to mind are the nationally known

and very popular Dollar Stretcher website at

www.stretcher.com and The Simple Living Network

at www.simpleliving.net.

Try other ways to have one or both parents home,

so you can homeschool your kids.

Can Mom and Dad work different shifts? Can you

start a family business? Ask your boss if you can

work from your home? If you are a single parent,

can you arrange your job hours and day care to

better accommodate your child and their educational

needs? If you are truly willing, you can always

find a way to have what you want.

Second, do your homework!

Find out your stateís requirements for homeschooling,

or look into other educational alternatives. There

are many excellent schools that allow children to

be enrolled via correspondence and online courses.

They provide professionally designed curricula and

books, support services, and keep official school

records and transcripts for you. Often times

their fees are far less than tuition at parochial

and private schools. In some states, your family

and others can form an educational association

that qualifies legally as a school. You can pool

your resources with friends and relatives and

share your time, teaching talents, libraries,

and equipment. You can opt for your older children

to take the GED exam and get practical life

training at a vocational school or via on

the job experience.

Third, be brave. Go for it!

You never know what you can accomplish, and even

excel at until you try. What have you got to lose?

If it doesn’t work out as planned, you can always

go back to the status quo. If it works out well,

you have a reason to be proud, and you and your

family will reap the many benefits.

You won’t have to worry about your child’s

safety or the bad influence of undesirable

characters in school.

You won't have the behavioral and social

problems that plague many latch key kids.

You will be strengthening your family ties and

enriching your daily experience

with your children.

You will be providing them with an excellent

education. You will be teaching them according

to your values, not the State’s, with love

and patience, and inherently knowing their

needs, talents, and interests. That is far

more than an educator at a public school

could give them.

You will be sending your children a powerful

message -- their well-being and success

in life is of the greatest importance to

you, and you are there to guide them and

help them develop their potential.

Parents, do yourselves and your children a big

favor. Sit down and discuss with them what school

is really like for them, and how they feel

about going there. Then try to feel and

understand their experience. Would you want to be

in their shoes? Would you as an adult tolerate

at your job, what kids endure in their average school day?

For example:

Do you fear for your safety because of the

presence of gangs or bullies?

Are you under enormous pressure to conform

by both authority figures and peers?

Are you a social pariah for wanting to be or

trying to be an individual?

Are you approached and pressured to buy

drugs or alcohol or engage in illegal

activities?

Are you herded like cattle and told what to

do and where to go every moment of your day?

( Sounds rather like the routine of a prison

inmate, don’t you think? )

Are you treated without dignity? (Do you

need to ask publicly for permission to use a

bathroom, get a special permission slip to

walk down the hall, and have to submit to

questioning if you take a little long?)

Are you publicly corrected or punished for

an infraction of the rules?

Do you have the freedom to dress as you wish

and express yourself according to your

unique personality?

Are you treated like a criminal suspect,

even if you are a stand-up citizen and a

morally decent person? (Do you have to

submit to locker searches and drug sniffing

dogs even if you have never done drugs,

and don’t associate with druggies?)

Are you overworked, and are you constantly

graded for your performance?

Child development specialists and psychologists will

tell you that school is for a child, what work is

for an adult. Kids face many of the same

stresses and pressures that you do parents,

but suffer more because they are developmentally

too immature to cope with it. They also are

powerless to change their situation if it

becomes intolerable for them.

Think about it! You put in your 40 hours at

your job. When you are done, you can go home

to your family. You have nights and weekends

free and even some holidays where you can tune

out your job, if you so desire. If you work

extra, you are rewarded in the form of additional

pay or a promotion. If you bring your work home

night after night, you are labeled a workaholic,

and you soon experience some stress because your

family feels they are being neglected by you. If

you feel overworked, under-appreciated, or used

and abused at your job, you are free to quit

and seek other employment.

Your child on the other hand, brings school home

with them. They put endless hours

into doing their homework, with no additional

rewards for their efforts. They have no union

to complain to, no rights to fair treatment on the

job that employees have. If their daily experience

is profoundly unhappy, they have no choice but

to go back to the environment they hate.

Education is compulsory, and there is generally

one school in your district where your child

can attend.

Would you like to work under the same conditions

your child endures in school, knowing you couldn’t

change or improve your situation for 13 long

years? Why do you insist your child must

live like that?

If you do choose to take your kids out of the

public education loop, you will be living a

different life. Your family and friends might

not understand or validate your decision.

Your school officials will likely be unhappy because

they lose government funding for each student that

no longer warms a chair in their hallowed institution.

But so what? It is your life, your family, your

children.

What is more important: conforming to a diseased system

and toxic way of life, or taking charge of your

Children’s well-being, education, and future success?

Perhaps it is time to think and live outside the box.

***To further expand your mind about real learning

and the educational system, please obtain and read

the two books I have reviewed on the following

pages: John Holtís classic How Children Fail,

and Charles Sykesí book Dumbing Down Our Kids.

Book Review

How Children Fail

John Holt

Dell Publishing 1964, revised in 1982

This book is a classic in American educational

literature. It is credited with igniting the

reform of our educational system in the 60s and 70s.

At the time he wrote it, John Holt was a fifth

grade teacher at a private school in Colorado.

He kept a diary of his observations of how his

students learned---or failed to---in his math

class. His conclusions led him to try experimental

teaching techniques, author several books

(including How Children Learn and Teach Your Own)

publish a newsletter called Growing Without

Schooling, and eventually to advocate that parents

abandon the school system and teach their children

at home. He is considered the founding father of

the Homeschooling/Unschooling movement in the

United States.

I really loved this book! It is an easy an

interesting read because it consists of a series

of brief entries describing real life situations

in a classroom. Interwoven are some very keen

observations about children, learning and the

educational system.

While Mr. Holt’s tone is far from strident,

fanatical, or preachy, the book is really a

scathing indictment of what is wrong in our

Country’s educational system. Here are some

points he made in the book:

Kids are natural learners, bright and curious

in their early years, but these traits are

greatly suppressed or extinguished by the

methods employed in school.

Children fail to learn because they feel

constantly fearful and anxious in the classroom.

Often times they adopt self-defeating or mind

dulling strategies to cope with the strain.

A lot of learning is apparent, not real.

Children can guess what answer the teacher

wants, master a test-taking strategy, or

perform a task by using a formula, but they

lack the skill to apply the knowledge in other

situations or to think and problem solve

independently. What is often measured on tests

is the ability of a student to parrot knowledge,

not their true understanding of the subject.

Children spend a great deal of time scared,

confused, bored, or humiliated. They are

mocked or made to feel stupid for "wrong"

answers and are rewarded with inane things

like gold stars. They are supposedly motivated

by teachers with carrot on a stick strategies

which offend a child. Some behavior of teachers

towards their students shows an underlying

lack of respect or even contempt for them!

Children often react to this by tuning out

the painful environment they are in and

disengaging their minds.

Far more learning takes place when an activity

is hands on, relaxed, and enjoyable to the

child. Kids excel at self-directed learning

and are motivated by the discovery they can

find out things on their own.

Parents, if you really want your child to learn

and to enjoy the process, read this book, and try

some of Mr. Holt’s suggestions. Better yet, be

brave and homeschool!

Book Review

Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel

Good About Themselves But Can’t Read, Write,

or Add

Charles J. Sykes

St. Martin’s Griffin, 1995

This book is a must read for every concerned parent

of a school aged child!

Mr. Sykes accuses the public educational system of

deliberately dumbing down our kids. What is the

agenda? How is it being accomplished? And why

is it being tolerated?

This book is not a conspiracy rant. It is filled

with ample research and statistical data, anecdotal

evidence, and even excerpts from texts used in our

public schools.

Find out for yourself:

Why our kids rank at or near the bottom of

international tests in math and science

Why self-esteem has supplanted grades and

genuine academic achievement

How the curriculum is dumbed down so

everyone can pass but nobody can excel

Why the system lowers standards and educational

quality in the schools, but manages to raise

budgets and taxes

The onus of modern public education is called Outcome

Based Education, or OBE. This book details its

goals and methods and gives amazing anecdotal

material of how it is used in your child’s school

on a day to day basis.

Did you know that kindergarten kids are read

material that encourages and teaches

masturbation? Yep! It is a lesson from a

book used in public schools called "A Kid’s

First Book About Sex". It shows a picture

of a young boy cuddling a teddy bear on his

bed with the caption "Feeling Sexy" and...

well, read the rest for yourself!

Were you aware that the schools want to

"clarify" your child’s values? Kids are

routinely asked how they would manage to cheat

their employer and not get caught, or are

told to describe how they would go about

running away from home. They also are asked

to plan their own funeral, to consider

reporting their parents to authorities, and

to determine what members of society are

"useless eaters" and should be allowed to

or forced to expire so that more worthy

people live.

Did you know that some kids can not do basic

computations with a pencil and paper after

13 years of public education? The trend

is to get children using calculators from

kindergarten for even the most rudimentary

of math tasks. Kids can no longer add a

column containing a few figures, make change

or figure sales tax in their heads!

Have you heard of "invented spelling?" So as

not to make children frustrated from too much

study, or to damage their self esteem if they

misspell a word, teachers routinely allow

their pupils to create their own ways to represent

words. I bet you didn’t know that

"JREK" spells drink!

I could go on and on with examples, but I don’t

want to get my blood pressure going through the

roof! It is enough to say that this book is an

eye opener, and worthy of your time and attention.

This article is an excerpt from my 2001 book, Make Your Kid A Genius! (Tools to Maximize Your Child’s Potential from the Womb Through College.) You can obtain a free copy in the "downloads" section of my website at http://www.irenehelenzundel.com