Tag Lines

 

So I am working at my desk, enjoying the peace and quiet, and a batch of new emails comes in, the subject lines flickering across the bottom of my screen. I glance down to see if anything needs immediate attention, and to see if the deed I am waiting for has come in yet. As usual, 90% of my emails are junk, and most did not get filtered into the junk folder. Thank you, microsoft.

As annoying as junk email is, you have to admit, it's kind of fun to sit back and read some of the "tag lines" these people come up with to try and get your attention. Ya gotta love being jolted awake with "Increase the size of your unit" first thing in the morning. I mean, not that this isn't an idea worthy of merit, but let me have my coffee first! Sheesh! And seriously, what is up with the Acai berry?

Most days, it's the same ol same ol. But today, something new caught my eye. The subject line read "Do you know fat girl's number?" Hm, this elicits several responses in me. First of all, yeah I'm sure I know a few. Second, why is this important to me? Why would knowing a fat girl's number be of importance? But ya know what? It got my attention. And even though I know you should never open a junk email, (flashback to the day my BOSS opened the "You have received an e card" and crashed our entire system, on the same day we got a record breaking amount of orders)...well I have to admit, my curiosity had been peaked.

So it is an email advertising Viagra, Cialis, etc. I have gotten many of these emails and they are always under some strange, totally unrelated subject line. But they always get me to look. So then I got to thinking, that would kind of be a fun job, sitting there trying to think of tag lines that will get otherwise intelligent people (yes I know I shoved glass up my nose but I was 5, I have evolved) to open what they undoubtedly know is spam. And who are these people, are they failed advertising executives? They couldn't get the VP of AT&T to go along with the slogan "Do you know the fat gir's number" so they found themselves in the unemployment line and voila, SPAM R Us snagged them right up. Or maybe they hire horny college boys who still have the toilet humor of 10 year olds because they know that even though what they come up with willl be crude and disgusting, we will still look?

Where do I sign up? I could totally do this job.