The path the tail’s wag takes is determined largely by where the rest of the body navigates.  Why, I’ve known tails to knock over lit candles, swat a caretaker’s face while he was asleep on the living room sofa (a funny event!), knock down a tower of wooden blocks (ruining a game), send a small can of paint tumbling down a ladder (a not-so-funny event!), and so on and so forth.  I guess we pets just don’t understand such people things!

My friends at the BC SPCA Biscuit Fund tell me that pets like us are so dependent upon their caretakers for just about everything.  (Boy!  Don’t I know it!)  It’s a lot like the tail – it can’t determine where to wag – the rest of the dog does that!  In much the same way, what a pet eats, what kind of care he gets, where he “does his thing,” (either outdoors or on the kitchen floor), are all determined by the pet’s caretaker.  I only wish that pet owners would count the cost of pet ownership and pet care before they commit to a pet.  It would make life so much easier for many of us pets.

Feeding – Sometimes a pet will chew on anything and everything in sight.  Sometimes the same pet will be listless and have his or her ribs showing.  Guess what these signs mean!  It’s time to supplement the diet.  Be sure to check with a weight and food calculator to make sure you’re giving your pet enough food.  You can find calculators or tables on the back of many pet food packages.  Sometimes a pet should be fed just once per day.  Other pets require two feedings per day, one in the morning and one at night.

There’s another feeding problem that is just the opposite of what I just said – overfeeding.  This, too, can cause a pet to become listless.  To watch an entertaining and funny, but serious, cartoon on the topic put together by some SPCA friends in the UK, go to your webby thingy and click here – it’ll take you to my blog entry for December 14, 2008.   Sometimes the truth can be both funny and serious at the same time.

Health Care - The BC SPCA Biscuit Fund is not a ‘tail’ on anybody’s pet.  Whenever a pet has a caretaker, the BC SPCA Biscuit Fund has nothing to do with that pet.  Some folks get the idea that if they can’t afford medical or surgical care for their pet, the Biscuit Fund will help them.  No, it doesn’t work that way.  The Biscuit Fund was set up only for homeless pets and wild animals, not for those who have a home.  So, if your pet needs professional care, there are ways to obtain it.  These include payment plans (ask your veterinarian), friends, relatives and fund or “fun” raisers.

Exercise – “Whoa!  Wait a minute, pal!  You mean we’re actually going for a walk?!”  Many of us pets, unfortunately, dream of moments like this.  We LOVE going outside and taking a walk.  Imagine what would happen to you if you were locked up in a cage for six hours straight, or left alone to sit on a soft, cushy pillow for hours at a time.  Talk about couch potato!  We have the same diet problems as you caretakers.  A little too much holiday and “Whoosh!”  We fill up like a balloon, too!  A little too much neglect and we begin taking it out on whatever happens to be handy - a chair leg, something left on the floor, whatever you happened to be knitting for a present, newspapers, plants, etc.

Doing Our Duty – How long can you go without going to the bathroom?  Eight hours?  How about four?  Two?  Well, us pets can’t always communicate our needs to you, so we do what comes naturally, at a time and place to our choosing, not necessarily yours!  Please, make sure that we’ve got an “out” if you leave us for a while. 

Protection and Safety – The top of an upright piano, the top of the TV set or entertainment center, the top of the refrigerator, the upper half of walls in rooms, the upper levels of a bookcase – what do all these have in common?  Unless your pet is a Great Dane, they’re generally safe places to put things that us pets should have no business with.  Be sure to pet-proof your living spaces.

Do you know what an extension cord tastes like?  Can you imagine what it tastes like?  (It’s made up of stuff I can’t even pronounce!)  Its appeal is not so much in its taste as in its chewiness – it cleans our teeth and exercises our jaws when we chew on one.  But, of course, the end of such dental exercise is quite a shock and has been known to start a fire or two!

Did you or your buddies leave unfinished beer or wine out after last night’s party?  Sometimes us pets find it and imbibe.  The end result might seem funny to you for a while, but it’s devastating to our anatomies.  Aluminum cans, too, are harmful to our gums and teeth.

Moving day is dangerous for us pets, too!  Stacking books, standing poles or large pieces of furniture on end and similar unstable arrangements are sometimes an invitation to catastrophe.  It’s best to find us a temporary home when you have to move, so that we don’t topple something and damage the goods or hurt ourselves.  This is also a good idea because while you’re preoccupied with the priorities of that costly moving van you’ve rented, us pets still have needs and you don’t want that floor or carpet messed up just before the new owners arrive.  Also, since we like the outdoors so much, we might be inspired to go take a walk.  Try looking for us when you’re supposed to be driving for hours to another state!  It’s stressful moments like these that you will want to avoid.

Have you ever tasted antifreeze?  It’s sweet, but deadly, too.  Cleaning agents clean, whether the top of the bowl or the inside of a pet.  Enough said.

Finally, never, NEVER, invite Aunt Millie over for any reason.  She hates dogs and thinks that they just happen to be larger than ants that she squishes because they get in the way of her lifestyle.  You know what Aunt Millie is like.  You know her other names.  Don’t let her in that door!  Sometimes I think she’s just an excuse for human life.  I mean, she’s just not representative of the species!  Please, be sure you know who you leave in the presence of your pets!

Well, enough for today.  I think I covered most of life from a pet’s point of view.  I think if you keep these thoughts in the back of your mind, it will guide you through most of pet ownership successfully and let you wag that tail properly.

/Signed/  Biscuit