Taking Stock of Life for the New Year - the New You

It's normally in the period between Christmas and New Year - after the turkey lunch, and turkey sandwiches, but before quite reaching turkey curry - that many of us ponder the new year awaiting us ahead. This is a time to reflect on the meteoric successes of the year, and shed a rueful tear at the missed opportunities and all the things we could have done better. Above all, it is the one time in the year that most of us expend any energy on what our goals should be for the coming year: to lose some of those holiday pounds perhaps, to work harder and get that promotion, to be a more caring and loving person, to spend more time with family. The list goes on - but we all know, come the end of January, we'll probably have fallen into our old ways...until the next new year approaches!

So how do we escape this seemingly never-ending vicious cycle? Here are a few tips:

Ask yourself:

• What really made me happy this year?
• What made me feel proud of myself?
• Could I have been happier or prouder? How?
• What things upset me this year?
• Could I have done anything to prevent them? What?

Asking these questions - and answering them honestly - will probably point you towards some of the goals that have deep emotional meaning to you. They will be important enough for you to really follow through. To achieve even greater happiness and success, or to fix the situations that perhaps left you feeling deflated.

Don't overdo this exercise, and don't dwell on the negative questions too much. Simply figure out what events left you feeling regretful, and resolve to fix them or ditch them for the sake of your sanity!

Be the man - or woman - with a plan! Follow the hackneyed old cliche 'if you fail to plan, you plan to fail'. Certainly, it's a cliche, but it also happens to be true. Make a plan and review it at least weekly.

Important: write it down! It then becomes a promise to yourself, as well as helping the plan to gently ease itself into your subconscious mind.

Don't be worried about thinking big. By all means have giant goals and aim to surprise yourself at the end of the year when you take stock again. But don't try to bite off more than you can chew in one go. Break your massive plans down into manageable pieces.

Aim to have weekly, monthly and quarterly goals. It's even better - for your life-changing goals - to map out the milestones at 6 months, 1 year and beyond! I'll stress again the importance of staying realistic in the short term though - otherwise you'll get demoralised and give up.

Ask any reformed smoker or successful dieter what single factor contributed most to their success, and they'll probably put the support of loved ones, partners, friends or cohorts top of the list. Find a trusted friend or confidant and let them know your plans. Ask them to support you. Ask them to help you.

Telling somebody also crystallizes the plan. It makes it more difficult to retreat when the going gets tough. And that's a good thing as many - in fact most - people give up on their dreams when they are within inches of the finishing line. Don't be 'most people' - don't think it's all too difficult and give up.

Remember your team of friends - your personal life-support - should consist of people you trust. If they don't believe you can reach your goal, they are best off out of the team (of course, that's not to say you shouldn't be friends with them any longer!)

I should probably have said this earlier - welcome to the real world! Reality, and life in general, has a nasty habit of sending us all little tests, usually at our weakest moments. Understand this - and accept it as a normal part of being alive - and you're well on your way to success.

Remember that there is no such thing as failure - only learning. Learn the lesson and move on. Some of your goals will hit brick walls and get stopped in their tracks. To Life's losers this is disaster - to the successful, it's an opportunity. Step back from the wall, be flexible, be responsive. Then adjust the plan - forgive yourself for 'failing' - and move on! You've just been through Hell, but you are now stronger and wiser and still moving forward towards your goals.

Conversely, when things are going well, review the plan. Is there further opportunity here? Can I add even further value that I'd previously never dreamed of? Adjust the plan and maximize! You've visited Heaven - and in some ways that can be harder than Hell because complacency or sheer relief in getting there can dampen our sense of opportunity-spotting.

Finally, when you do your plans, build in rewards for yourself that you earn upon reaching the minor goals. It might be something as trivial as a chocolate treat perhaps (unless your goals revolve around losing weight of course!) These treats act as a positive reinforcement that you're on track.

Whatever happens, whatever life throws up at you, whatever other people think of you - KEEP GOING! Never give up. Sometimes we don't reach our goals, but most times it's because we don't try hard enough. So keep going. You'll know if it becomes a lost cause, but you'll also know you did everything possible to get there, that you gave it your all and more!

Lots of people use a method called SMART when target-setting. It stands for:

• Specific
• Measurable
• Achievable
• Realistic
• Timed

I've never been a fan of this method as - although it has some merits - it is very impersonal. The individual doing the goal-setting should build themselves into the plan somehow, so they have a personal stake in its success. I'm also uncomfortable about setting 'achievable/realistic' targets, on the basis that you could aim to make $1 million and succeed, or aim to make $10 million and fail by only making $2 million!

Use SMART if you're using it already - it's far better than not target-setting at all. An alternative is the START Formula popularized by Paul McKenna:

• Self-image
• Target
• Action
• Response
• Tenacity

This method involves the individual by addressing self-image and creating a positive outlook. SMART fits nicely into 'Target' using this model and the other aspects involve us constantly doing something to realise our goals. Don't let a day go by without doing something that moves you closer to your target.

Hopefully some of these tips will have helped, and given you some ideas of where you want to take your life. It's best not to think of New Year's resolutions as targets and aims for the New Year.

In fact it doesn't matter what the date is. If you are reading this on January 1 then feel free to call it a New Year's resolution. If not, don't think you're off the hook! The day to make giant strides towards your future success and happiness is today! And the time to do it? Now! So START now!