A Tale of Two Titties
79
Growing Up Busty
We americans have a love affair with breasts. It permeates our culture and is magnified in our media. And as an eleven year old girl, it permeated me. I longed to have boobs. My sister and I would stick rolled up socks in our shirts and dance around pretending to be our buxom older sisters. I did pec. exercises and chanted, “we must, we must, we must increase our bust.” When I did finally blossom, I had a year of “coming along nicely” that in one summer turned into “what in the hell happened to you.” By the time I was 15 I had jumped from a B to a D and had the stretch marks to prove it.
My newly formed bust line created a wedge between me and my best girlfriends. I first realized this when I was no longer aloud to play the “does this shirt make me look flat” game. This is a game, for you guys that don’t know, that is played among young women. Its a bonding ritual acted out in front of bedroom and school bathroom mirrors. It is a game replaced later in life by the the, “do these pants make my butt look too big” game. Another occasion the breast wedge reared its ugly head, was an evening my girlfriend and I were vying for the attention of this fox we spied while cruising. (Fox is what we called cute guys way back then. Cruising meant driving around in circles cause there is nothing else to do when you live in the sticks.) So my girlfriend and I would just see who the fox liked better, fair enough. “But no sticking your chest out,” she snapped at me. I rounded my shoulders as I had learned to do and lost track of my smile.
Guys were worse than girls of course, forgetting I had a face just six little inches north of there. But that was excusable. It was the comments, especially the ones from older guys. (keep in mind anything older than eighteen is OLD to a sixteen year old girl) I remember once walking through our mall, dressed in a sweatshirt and jeans. I was all excited about the new tricolor eye shadow I had just bought at Pay Less, when this older guy wolf whistled at me. I ignored him and hoped no one was looking at me. “Damn honey, you got a nice set of lungs on you,” he yelled at me across the mall. I rounded my shoulders, and lost track of my smile and made for the door.
The years went by and I learned to live with them. I still had bad days though, like shopping for bras. Lingerie departments always hang the pretty lacy bras on display. But when I’d ask to try one of these on, the sales lady would say, “I don’t know if we have any in YOUR size, but if we do they’re in that bottom drawer.” Luckily though times were changing. Breast implants were really starting to take off and that tipped the scales in my favor. There were more large breasted women around and Victoria Secret led the pack supplying bras and tops to support them. Like a kid in a candy store, I snatched up under wire bikinis, tank tops with built in bras, and blouses designed for curves. Thanks to all those lovely plastic surgeons passing out silicone like girl scout cookies, I was no longer big busted I had become mainstream!
The Day My Boobs Saved My Life
I don’t remember what I needed to put up there that day. Perhaps it was the case of wine glasses I got at the dollar store , or maybe it was a bag of baby bottles my breast fed son refused to entertain. Anything we didn’t know what to do with went up there. Up there was a loft. It could have been a second story, but it wasn’t supposed to be, at all. It just happened when our trusses didn’t show up and our contractor decided to stick frame our roof instead. Voila', a loft with no way to get to it. So it became our storage area that could only be gotten to by ladder. On this particular day, I was stashing something up there that needed stashing. And I was reaching it with a ladder that almost reached. The ladder was just tall enough that I could kinda hop off the top step and pull my belly up on to the floor of the loft, swing a leg over and be good to go.
I know what you’re thinking, don’t ladders have a sticker that say, “do not stand above this step.” Ya, but who listens to those over zealous ladder people really. So after stowing my stuff, I laid down on my belly and shimmied backward down to the ladder. I felt around with my toes and when I found the top of the ladder I let myself slide down on to it. Perhaps the uneven slate floor didn’t allow the ladder a solid footing, or maybe I was not properly centered, but as my feet found their way to the top of the ladder it decided to tip. One second I had a footing. The next second my feet were swinging under me and my fingernails were scratching into the loft floor, trying to stop the inevitable. I imagined the sound my head would make hitting the stone floor from nine and a half feet. Would it sound like a hard boiled egg? Would I be lying twisted and bleeding on the floor when my family came home? But then my decent was halted. My breasts had caught on the edge of the floor. It was only a fraction of a second, but it was enough time that my hands got a grip and my feet swung back and found a part of the ladder and balanced there. I carefully lifted my weight off the girls and scrambled to the floor. I think I started laughing immediately. My double ds had just saved my life.
How many times had I wondered why God had endowed me with large breasts but not the personality to carry them. Had they been given to me just to tantalize school boys who would never be allowed to touch them? Were they just intended to be play things for the men who would come later? Or was their most important role to be a four years stint in the over production of milk and staining of shirts biz? Today I finally knew the answer. When my creator was putting me together for my time on earth, he glanced at my life chart and said, “We’d better give her bigger boobs. They’re gonna have save her life one day.”
MEN:
When it comes to boobs...
See results without votingWOMEN:
When it comes to my breasts...
See results without voting
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Comments
That'd be another hub!
Well, I have to admit, I feel the need to go take a cold shower. very cold.
Ass man here...Womans ass...
None of these women are indian, not interested.
Sorry to disappoint Pest!
You know I kid,,,right? i voted once for the women too. Right now the "I wish they were smaller" is at 100%!
None of the men here have seen beyond your first two points-- but I thought this was quite good in the departments of "be careful what you wish for" and "everything happens for a reason".
Very entertaining and insightful.
Great hub, Randy! It tells the story of boobs from a woman's perspective, just so us guys can understand. Ok, I understand...now give me some. I sure am glad your boobs saved your life! Nice job!
LOL who cares about milk factory? Ass all the way :P
Pest, yes I know. I figure a woman's body is a banquet to you and you'll take as many servings of whatever you can fit on your plate.
Rochelle, Thanks for actually reading. I'm happy if I entertained you.
Chris, I'm glad I was able to enlighten you a bit... now you can go back to being a guy.
Cool hub, randy! Boobs are more advantageous than people think!
Misha, guess I had you covered on the other hub then, eh?
Amy! My man boobs have gotten me nowhere...
Amy, who would have thought they were life saving devices.
Nice hub. I have DD's and with my body frame that really isn't so bad, but I had DDD's before I had my last child. It was a blessing and a burden. Men have no idea what it is like. They howl and whistle at a little cleavage and we are trying our best to make sure our cows stay in the barn!
Tootles!!
Pest...give 'em a boost with an underwire... if you get a padded one, you can set your coffee on 'em in the morning.
Nayberry thats so funny. When I was nursing I was an E and refered to myself as a damn milk cow.
The world should be forever grateful to your breasts, Randy.
Tom, I know I am.
Hi Randy! I always wished mine were bigger, but heck, it never happened!! I hope if I fall off a ladded it's my ass in the position to save my life, 'cause my tits for sure wouldn't do the job! Laugh!
Oh, and what you say about looking regular now, on account of all boob jobs done today.... I look smaller every damn day on account of the same! Grrrrr!
Had fun with this one! :-)
Elena I'm glad you had fun with this. I swear the grass is always greener and the ass is always leaner on the other side. LOL.
Laugh! You're soooo right!
Elena I wish I would have appreciated my body when I was younger. I look back and wish I would worn things I couldn't get away with today... in ten years I'll be saying the same thing.
really enjoyed this hub randy - I'm a 'd' and not too keen when gravity tries to intrude into my personal space and turn me into a frigate in full sail! ...good one..cheers
Boob talk, boob talk, boob talk. There is nothing on this hub except boobs! But what about a woman's mind? Her personality? You girls are so shallow!
ajcor, I'm surprised at the boob comrotery here, its kinda cool!
Yes Chris, you do seem to be more about the mind and less about the flesh tonight. I'm handing you breasts on a silver platter and you're turning your nose up. Hmpf.
Yes, Christopher. What's wrong with you tonight?
@ chris but not so shallow around the chest-eh!
Ok. I give. I can't fight you all off any more. Show me the goods!
I don't know about you ladies but I'm feeling quite spurned.
I would, too, if I had anything to be spurned about. Sob. As it is, I was kinda glad Chris refered to mind over matter, 'cause mind (and not so much of it!) is all I have to my name! Laugh!
I don't spurn...I yearn.
Elena, I had a comment for you, but I think I'd better just keep it to myself....
:-))
Aw, come on PM. You're among friends.
It's a good thing us guys don't have boobs.....we'd just sit at home and play with them all day and never get anything done. :-0
Hip hip hooray for Randy's boobies saving her life! I've never heard of a hero story like this before...headlines, "A couple boobs save the life of a woman who didn't heed ladder directions!"
But seriously, it's hard to be a teenager who feels way different especially when the difference results in unwanted attention from much older guys. :( And you're right, the grass is always greener. :)
PM, you TEASE! :-)
Randy, please excuse the invasion, but you can see how PM was a ... never mind ;-)
Ya Florida Randy, I'm guessing you'd prop a mirror in front of your trampoline and just bounce the day away.
Pam, I still don't head ladder warnings, but now I give a shout out to my guardian angels just to make sure they are paying attention.
Elena, I love a good invasion and a good tease for that matter, but enough about me. Come on PM spill.
Okay, that's disturbing......
And I can take a secret to my grave. :-)
PM, We just want to hear the comment. What's so disturbing?
Florida installing a mirror and watching himself and his boobs bounce on the trampoline all day. I have to go wash out my brain, now..... :-)
Ohhhh, LOL!
Come on, Pam. I'm not that much older than you!
Oh....it's not the bouncing that we love so much....it's the feel especially when they're real.
Q. What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
A. If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!
Well what would I know Florida Keys, I'm just a girl! Do guys really care if they're real? That would have made a good poll.
Mr. Nice, another oldie but goodie: “As I got older, I developed furniture disease. My chest fell into my drawers.”
Hi Randy!
My chest fell into my drawers. Very funny here is another one.
~ You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping. ~Cindy Crawford
~ The basic Female body comes with the following accessories: garter belt, panti-girdle, crinoline, camisole, bustle, brassiere, stomacher, chemise, virgin zone, spike heels, nose ring, veil, kid gloves, fishnet stockings, fichu, bandeau, Merry Widow, weepers, chokers, barrettes, bangles, beads, lorgnette, feather boa, basic black, compact, Lycra stretch one-piece with modesty panel, designer peignoir, flannel nightie, lace teddy, bed, head. ~Margaret Atwood
Well I do say myself I wish mine were big enough to save my life!!! You are soooo lucky, women pay megabucks to have those, at least those sisters held on for dear life and didn't let you go!!!Lol:)
Too funny Mr. Nice, but what the hell is a fichu and a lorgnette, the rest of it, ...well ya.
AEvans- Ya, I owe them big time. They got a little bruised and big old red welts but they took a lickin and kept on tickin.
Hi Randy,
Thanks for liking the quotes. Here is the explanation.......
Fichu is a woman's triangular scarf of lightweight fabric, worn over the shoulders and crossed or tied in a loose knot at the breast.
Lorgnette is a pair of eyeglasses or opera glasses with a handle
Sorry, I tried my best to read the words you've put so much effort into this hub... but my eyes kept diverting to the boobies =)
I wish I were as blessed as you are!! I miss the days around the time I had my daughter when my cup size grew to a D!!! I want that back, even if I have to buy it back! LOL! Great hub!! Great story!!
Hey, Randy -- I'm back for a morning fix of... comments! (AHEM) Most of the comments on this hub are hilarious! Well done to you and everyone who commented, a morning laugh is very healthy, you know?! :-)
Mr Nice, of course a Lorgnette! What's a women to do without her opra glasses (I think of Julia roberts in "Pretty Woman")
See More, I only put the pictures up for you oggelers... Did I pick well?
Anna, you could always be a wet nurse, sell your milk to some rich lady that doesn't want to breast feed and have your D cups back! LOL.
Elena, did you watch the video? That's a good morning laugh! I just added it yesterday, its below the this comment box.
PM, could you speak up. I couldn't hear that.
Randy: That video is hysterical! I almost spit up my twizzler!
ahh boobs, I have a love hate relationship with them. I love them right now, but if I ever do drop a few pounds they will be the first thing that goes and it pisses me off. I really am hoping someone comes up with a device that will roll the stomach fat all the way up to a bra, that way I won't have to lose any weight and I can achieve better cleavage.
Chris, It reminded me of the video on your iboob hub.
Gwendy, I actually have a friend who had a mastectomy and they rebuilt her boob with tummy fat. How cool is that!
I have heard of that and that they tatoo a new nipple. Pretty cool.
Hi Randy!
Good one, what's the next hub topic. "Cute Butties or Tushies" Or Tales of Two Cute Butties or Tushies ????
I published a new hub too check it out thanx........
Gwendy, I didn't think to ask about her nipple. LOL
Mr. Nice, have you not read my butt hub? http://hubpages.com/hub/My-Panties-Fine-Tuning-wit I'll check out yours.
Hi Randy!
I must have overlooked, I am going to check it out right now.
Hi Randy!
I must have overlooked, I am going to check it out right now. This hub doesn't exist bad link.
It keeps cutting it off? Must be too long. Just go up to my profile and click it there. "My Panties, Fine Tuning with a G-string"
I really don't know how the girl in the middle photo (of the group of three) manages to keep those not so small beauties in her dress!
video was very funny...good choice
Ajcor, If your talking satin dress, I think she's still putting it on. The spaghetti straps are off her shoulders and you can see down to her belly and beyond now that I look closer.
Hello Randy and welcome to HP. You obviously have ways other than your cleavage to attract attention (LOL). Good job on a fun hub topic.
Do you know I actually had a male friend (a work colleague/attorney) say to me he secretlt believes women with big tits are not as smart as women with smaller ones! Needless to say I unleashed my DDs and whapped that boy upside his head!
For someone like Kate Hudson or Debra Messing I can see implants up to maybe a C cup. But women intentionally making their boobs huge? Why? Me no get it! And for the record... why is it that overendowed men do not have these problems?
MM, and pretty girls are stupid, and girls with glasses are smarter and men with small penises are more attentive lovers, and.... well maybe that last one is true?
Randy, I get a lot of teasing in this hub! I can't see any video down there, I just see the capsule title!
Elena!! If you can't watch it here--go to youtube. It's DEFINITELY worth watching! Hilarious!!!!
Elena, I love to be teased. Don't you? Were you able to use Laughing Mom's link?
Bigger the better. Ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randy, I like to be teased .... sometimes ... by the right teaser ... :)
I can't see any link that takes me to youtube (am I blind?) and the video below still doesn't work for me. This kind of teasing just ain't fair!
Elena, it works here in the UK, and I can see why Chis got so excited! Try going to Youtube and keying in 'Feel My Breasts' It's worth a try.
Randy, how lucky you are to have a pair of melons instead of a pair of poached eggs! They're useful things these boobs, but I'd never heard of them being life-savers before!
Ay, Amanda, thanks for the tip! My tits will never save me from anything, so I'm grateful to you from saving me from all this teasing!!! BESOS!
Kumar Viru, within reason I'd say!
Amanda, I've lost quite a bit of weight lately and my melons have been down graded... grapefruits I guess.
Elena, I hope you've got to see the video by now its really funny.
I've seen it, I've seen it! It's totally bonkers, but totally!
hi iit is nice sexy and breast
Elena, but totally... funny?
shepon, glad you enjoyed .
Bonkers funny, yes. The shit women get into, I'm telling you, one's got to laugh about it! :-)
That was a fun and insightful read! Thanks ~
Randy: No, men with slightly above average are the best lovers. Everybody knows that. He's got enough to satify, but not so much that he's "cocky."
Come ere!
Greg, Thanks for not being distracted by the pics and actually reading!
Chris, so is that how it is. Thanks for the education, now I know what to look for ;)
That lovely breast would wonderfuly breastfeed babies. We should not only be concerned about the size instead women must be reminded the breast cancer is commonly lately detected in too large or big boobs and thats scary.
It's not Fair Randy.....look at all these comments. Anything with Tits in the title is an instant seller...My next hub about Free Fuel is going to be titled....TITS love riding on free fuel!!!!! And the video was great...but you should move it way up in the story. Now come over and we'll reenact your Tit hanger and put it on YouTube. I'll do the video...you'll have to do the hanging.
ladyvenus, I breast for four years total and read that women who breast feed more than two years have a lower chance of breast cancer. Hope its true.
FK, I really don't cherish the idea of hanging by my boobs again, thanks anyways. I now know about the tits and ass bringing in traffic. This hub has 3 or 4 thousand slide show views and the panty one has 5 or 6 thousand. Crazy!
Who else thinks I should move the video up?
verysex
sdff, youthin
Hey Randy, oo la la. I second Christoph's motion above. What is Pest saying we aren't no good cos we aren't indian.Here throw me some boot polish Randy I will show him Indian LMAO. Listen to all these men going bananas it is as though they have not seen a breast before haha.
Hey this is fun. I'm a toe man and boob man. i once had a fall like yours too, but it was somthing a little lower that saved me as I had been lookin' at a playboy in the hayloft. Great read
Haha C.C you stalking me.......I don't mind you are a nice stalker hehe
Who? mme? haha
you lead me to good stuff now and again
Oh yes better believe it. Follow me and I will show you the way to go. My nose is well trained at sniffing out the juice...stalk away, for it's another day.
Friends, Romans, Hub-pages citizens, lend me your ears, let's raise our glass and have a beer. Ignore that bit I am not an avid beer drinker. Now it has been brought to my attention, by a high elite rank Hubber here, that a lot of the good looking or just women in general on Hubpages are actually men. I think this being a nice homely environment, is a good place to come clean. I think after the count of ten we should all drop our dacks.Now, I need no proving, a couple of extraordinary hubbers here have verified my voice on Skype haha. So without further ado one...two....three.....any takers. Anyone....The truth is out there....anyone....hello....grrrrrr
what's a dack?
LMAO C.C it means pants. Haha
Is that the truth, blondepoet? Men posing as women? You ain't kidding? ---'scuse the invasion Randy!
Elena I swear to you it is true. I know who a lot of them are already. Someone you trust very much too told me.....oooooo......
Geez weez, I feel like I don't know jack sheeeeet. I'd never even fancy the notion! Do I even want to know?! If you think I DO want to know, do drop me a message in FB, 'cause I just don't feel right to mess ups here, at Randy's. Where is she, BTW? Long time no see the sexy chick! Anyhow, if you think I *have* to or *need* to, then note me in there. Otherwise ... I'll live in blissful ignorance! Laugh!
Hi Guys! I guess I missed all the fun. Guys pretending to be women. Wouldn't we be able to hear it in there writing? I'm curious now. Are you guys on FB. I should do that. And as always I love a good invasion, even at dinner time.
Elena, nice to see your face by the way... maybe I'll try that some time.
Yes Randy please join FB we are all there I want to be able to bubble wrap you, shoot with you my laser gun equipped with fart bombs, and buy you as my fun toy LMAO
Stopped by to say good night to you ladies. I'm hitting the mighty pillow in 10,9,8.... And Randy, you're on FB already, aren't you, sneaky, you? I just don't want to know who you are, though, least the mistery be spoiled! Laugh!
My face will be with me all weekend long, so, errr, enjoy. Or whatever! :-) BESOS!
Ooooo you are sneaky Randy reveal yourself to us....don't be afraid
Sounds like the guys are having just as much fun as us girls with this topic?! Its rather disturbing to read this hub with those big boobie pictures right next to it? LOL Glad they saved your life from that fall. What? Did you guys want me to say something about my boobs too? BTW, that was a funny youtube video. Especially of all those guys in the background!
I just watched the video down below. it's hucking filarious.LOL
I'm seeing so much of Pest, toadie and Chris Reilly here. I bet they like the tale of two titties. This guys go crazy over titties. LOL
Beautiful interesting hub! Hahahah. The video is great!
Sorry if the boob pic.s are distracting mayhmong, I was told I had to put them up if I wanted to be considered a legitimate writer. I did try to pick some with a little class though.
Great spoonerism C.C.
Elena, me on FB. Don't you trust me at all? ;)
Blonde, I couldn't write about my childhood if I used my real name. People would be hurt. Plus I'd be more... conservative.
Nice to see your glitteriness Sheena! I could show my face that way.
Randy, 'course I trust you AND your ability to maintain the mystery ... so don't friend me on FB, please! Laugh!
Elena, I wouldn't want to ruin what we have by showing you my face... although you kinda let your mystery take a vacation this week. So, maybe I should friend you... maybe I already have. LOL.
WTF, Randy! If you already have, I haven't the slightest who you may be, and I'll shut my brain down now, with hopes to remain ignorant! Laugh!
As to my own "revelation", I can't remember why I went with a real photo of me last week, I think it was avatar envy (envy from whom, I can't recall!) but I know I picked this one for the weekend because of something someone said --that someone shall remain nameless ;-) kinda difficult for me now to go back to being bluuuuuue and mysteriouuuuus Laugh
I'm just teasing you about FB... you said you liked a good tease I thought. Its nice to have your face to grasp onto though, water can be so everything and nothing.
I'm glad that was teasing, I had a heart stopping moment there ! Imagine, dying from too much information! ;-) My face may be OK, but in terms of grasping onto something, I think your hips are better :-*
Sandmans cometh Elena, we'll have to discuss my hips another day :)
Randy, ROFLMAO!!!! I'm a D too, and I'm pretty sure I'll never drown. In fact, I could probably used as a personal flotation device for a couple of extra peoople!
The only way I could drown is if I fell asleep sitting up, nodded forward, and someone poured water into my clevage.
My little sister (FF) and my niece (GG) both had to have reductions because the back problems were getting too bad. It feels kind of odd to say that I'm the smallest busted one with a D cup.
Loved the hub!
All these letters floating around.....and I got you all beat....I got an A- I always was smart that way. Randy, seems this Boob story has a life of its own. Interestingly its the ladies who keep the comments rolling. I certainly thought it would be the guys. You mean Randy isn't your real name? I'm not sure who you really are, but I certainly like the "Randy" side of you! And please move the YouTube thing up at least before the comments....I'm afraid a lot of people miss it, and its tooooooo funny!
Silver Freak, I definitely had an advantage in scuba class. We were all supposed to tread water for a while. I just let my boobs keep me up, pitied the poor skinny guys treading like hell.
Real Randy, Yep mines just an adjective not my real name. Moving the video for you, up, up, up.
Mine's both :-)
Randy (FK), what happened to your naughty little hub?
Answer is in your e-mail.
i want to have sex with you and fuck that boobs ofyours
Hmmm your name would suggest your a girl, your grammar would suggest prepubescent boy. Either case it sounds like a pearl necklace. Takes a man to do that.
Wooow what a great read, I guess its similar to when a guy actually gets hair around his penis. Myself I am neither a boob, leg or bum man I am a dedicated Randy Behaviour man : )
So glad you liked it. Glad you actually "read" it. So many of you guys just get lost in the pictures.
No I actually found it interesting and deff I will think twice before staring at some 18 year olds boobs, or make it less obvious. You write well my friend !
Thank you Bad. Writing makes me happy.
Anyone with a hub called "Tale of Two Titties" is okay in my book! I remember the day when boobs saved my life as well...but that is for another day.
I'm glad you enjoyed my Titties Adam, they get a a lot of attention as do my panties. Men!
Ha Ha. Hello and glad to stumble across your hub, Randy B!
This is so nicely written and I laughed the whole time. I'll definitely be coming back for more - whatever the subject!
My best friend in the world developed rather early and is, um, blessed in that way. She, of course, had to endure the comments, the bad bras, and the whole bit. I was the skinny toothpick girl back in those days. Oh, how each of us wished for the other's plight - tis true about the greener grasses and leaner asses! :)
Mine did finally come in, in case u wondered :) but I did not appreciate their utility until I became my son's milk-cow. I do okay size-wise, but its doubtful I'd survive more than a 5 or 6 foot fall with them!
Titillating hub! (Sorry, I am sometimes unable to refrain from making bad jokes.)
Oh dear, I feel your pain. I am a big boob girl :) HATED shopping for bras until recently when I finally got fitted properly, now I'm a happy camper. Should've done it years ago, but I was too afraid they'd tell me some ungodly size!! LOL Still waiting for mine to save my life though...
RooBee, Thanks for stopping in and commenting. You had the best of both worlds then, knew what it felt like to be thin and later curvy. So Which did you prefer? I recently lost too much weight and gotta say feel weird being skinny.
Janetta I got fitted once, when I was in college. The lady was not happy with the way I put my bra on and chastised me. Never did that again. I'm glad you had a better experience.
Miss Behavior (there I go again), I personally prefer the curves - hands down but I think it is mostly just from being so thin for so long.
I think I look much better now, but I was seriously skinny back in the day.(All through junior high, I was lovingly known as "chicken-legs").
Is your av your recent pic, then? If so, woweee - you are not too much or too little of anything, looking dead on gorgeous to me!
RooBee, Damn nice compliment. I'll so take it. That picture is from a couple months ago. I've got about 5 pounds to gain to get back to that. Few more beers ought to do it!
I'm gay. I like dicks. Hence my name, ZKeller PENIS MAN. It means that I LOVE WANKS!!!!!!!
Well ZKeller, I'm glad you know what you like. I find them desirable also. I think you might like this other hub of mine better:
http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Part-of-a-Man--That-Dr
Keep your comment clean, if you leave one. I'd hate to have to yank yours PenisMan.
hi randy.i'm full blooded italian so i consider myself something of an expert on headlights.women take them for granted cause they have them.men will go to the ends of the earth just to see them.i was breast fed as a child.those were the good old days.i accociate boobs with love and comfort.i hope you take this as respectful,yours are spectacular...i'm printing your photo to put on my beast boobs wall lol...peace...
Cheaptrick - By "mine" I assume you mean the photos up there. LOL. Not that mine aren't spectacular, they just aren't represented here. :)
Great Article.
Thanks for reading eaasi.
Very sensible advice, thanks for your hub.
eaasi - Not sure what advice you are referring to? Maybe not standing on the top rung of a ladder? Glad you came by again.
Great read RB. NEVER EVER, do that ladder thing again! :) I would hate to see such a fine set of ta ta's mistreated like that. But it is a good thing that you have them, or we would not have been able to enjoy your skill with a pen.
One question though. For a woman of such endowments, why not show the full you as opposed to just the hips? Mind you, I am not complaining here. You have extraodinary hips, and I am a L&A man after all.
Dearest Trooper, I edit my body soley to protect your family "Emeralds." Turning them blue is not my intent, and surely showing you all of me, would just be torturous.
Lady, you should look at the polls.
Most men voted - When it comes to boobs... -The bigger the better.
And to my Suprise - most women voted - When it comes to my breasts - I wish they were bigger.
See, You don't have to be sad about your big breasts. Men will love them and women will envy them.
binilraag, I'm not sad. Jealous of smaller girls who look great braless in a t-shirt, but not sad.
I'm starting to get a real "feel" for this topic...Well...I just had to say it...don't think anyone slid their hands in on that pun before me!
Manly, Hard to believe after all these comments nobody had grabbed that one!
I am actually a leg-butt man!!! There should be harmony, proportion in size and volume.... May be I am revealing too much :):):):) I loved your hub.
Glad you enjoyed it Shamel... I guess you and everybody else pretty much know my proportions now. LOL.
I think I could just read your comments and be entertained, Randy B...And I thought I was a clown! BTW, one of the sexiest parts of a women is the small of thier backs, like when it's arched, esp. when they're wearing low rise jeans...Awesome.
Glad to hear they saved your life!
Entertaining read, and hilarious video :)
Sorry I missed your comment Dohn... not sure how I missed it. The comments on this one keeps me in stitches too.
Earthscribe, glad you were entertained. Yep that video bout made me pee my pants.
Hey Thanks for the mammaries, waitresses with big tips make lots of money, your hub has definetly brought me abreast of the situation,LOL~~MFB III
This hub of mine seems to bring out the worst puns in people.
I had boob envy until I was in my forties. Thank God that only lasted 27 years!
Now I'm grateful they don't sag more than they already do. They may never save my life, but they served their purpose when it came to my babies.
And during the bra-less seventies, I could wear a tube top without fear of anything popping out.
Thanks for the fun read.
Hi abcd1111! Thanks for stopping by. I'm so glad that you didn't dwell on your breasts for 28 years, cause THAT would have been too long. lol.
goldentoad says:
8 months ago
Sorry, I'm a legs man.