Ever tried to buy tent pegs in a small Japanese village? Ask for directions on a busy German high street? Hitch a ride in the South of France? Maintain any kind of civil conversation with anyone at all at Newark?

Being able to approach strangers and strike up a polite, temporary, and reserved relationship is a worthwhile skill to learn, if you are not one of those fortunate folk who just instinctively know how to size up each individual she meets and adjust her approach accordingly. Being too friendly can have the wrong effect; being too distant can be perceived as hostility. A few guidelines can help you navigate your way through the myriad encounters we experience every day with complete and utter strangers. Here are a few tips:

• Don't smile too broadly. Yep. While it's true that a smile is usually essential in the initial, instantaneous impression we get of each other (unless, of course, you happen to be meeting over a corpse or at the DMV. No one ever smiles at the DMV). Why? A slightly reserved smile, a tentative one, puts your target at ease more quickly than a too-wide smile (unless you are stunningly gorgeous, in which case you will have no trouble, ever, talking to strangers no matter what expression is on your face, and you won't be reading this Hub anyway).

• Be polite. If you are in a foreign country, be sure you know how to say "Excuse me" in the local language. If you can manage to ask your question in the language, do so, no matter how nervous you may be about making mistakes -- an attempt at being polite is always preferable to assuming that everyone in the world knows how to speak English or would even ever want to learn.

• Don't ask questions without preparing them first. Rehearse what you're going to say before opening your mouth -- avoid ambiguity or anything that may be perceived as flirtatious (unless you are approaching a stunningly gorgeous person and just can't help yourself). Don't go up to a guy and say "Yo, how's it hanging?" when "Excuse me" might be more appropriate. Ask directly and clearly -- "Excuse me, is this the right way to the bank/train station/morgue?"; not "Hey, I'm lost." (Especially in France, where "Je suis perdue" means "I'm a loose woman.")

• Don't be offended if people are too busy or self-absorbed to answer you. Simply move on to the next person who looks approachable.

• Don't demand help. Just because you have been left stranded on the side of a busy interstate in 86° weather does not mean that you are automatically entitled to immediate assistance. If you are upset, take a moment to calm down. Unless it is an emergency, your inconvenience is not really anyone else's concern.

• Don't expect an answer -- be genuinely happy if someone does take the time to reply or offer help. Don't assume this help is freely given; where appropriate, offer payment for any aid that is rendered (but don't assume that people will help you just because you wave a twenty in their direction).

Don't pour out your life story or the circumstances that led to your current problem (unless you are talking to the police, of course, in which case give a clear, simple recap of events that resulted in you, say, holding the murder weapon used to effect the demise of a noted public figure in the restroom of a famous Barcelona hotel). No one really wants to know the details. "May I borrow your telephone directory?" works just as well as, if not better than, "I need a cab right now in this godforsaken dump between the ass-end of no and where to get to the airport to rent a car because a lunatic co-worker just dumped me at the side of the road where this ATM isn't even working and I have no cash." Wait quietly for your cab without venting to every passing stranger that you are victim of dreadful circumstance; no one likes a whiner. Save all your anger for the drive home, and be grateful that they had a midsize car to rent you this late on a Saturday afternoon.