CHICAGO, IL- An innovative new surgical procedure is granting hope to a pair of conjoined Teddy Grahams, who were found in box of the tasty snack by the same name in a Chicago-area home.

The twins, named "Thing One" and "Thing Two," are connected in an usual way: Thing One's feet are joined with Thing Two's head and skull, making it impossible for Thing One to walk, and impossible for Thing Two to think.

"Getting around is just too difficult for them," stated the twin's surrogate mother, Theresa Boehl, who was munching on a handful of their brothers and sisters when she noticed the odd pair. "Thing One has the brains but no motor skills. Thing Two can walk, but just can't function mentally. It's a sad state of affairs if you ever see them at a dance party. They look like a drunken clown on stilts or something."

The procedure is scheduled to be performed in late March by the renowned Dr. Pheelgoot, a specialist in separating conjoined twins.

"The surgery has its risks, and it's not going to be easy," said Pheelgoot at a press conference on Monday. "We're taking all possible measures to minimize the chance that either of the twins will lose their lives. Or their chocolaty flavor."

Pheelgut went on to say that the experimental procedure will involve dunking the pair in milk, since "getting them a little soggy will make it easier to break them apart."

Nabisco could not be reached for comment.