Teen-age Depression

It seems that more and more teen-agers are dealing with depression. In our modern, fast paced, stress filled environment the normal challenges and issues of adolescence become overwhelming.

In the 1970s it was hard to be a teen. There were many temptations to overcome: drugs, sex, peer pressure. It was a difficult time to come of age. Yet, for most of us that grew up during that time, parents were available for talking to. Life was slower paced. There was less competition, fewer choices to make. There was less encouragement to be rebellious.

Today's teen listens to musical lyrics that are violent. They play violent games on computers and wii, and they see violent movies. Whether or not to have sex before marriage is not so much the question as when you will do it. Computers bring pornography easily, and secretly into our homes. Questions of ethics that used to be easily solved by " MY DAD WOULD KILL ME!" are now being mulled over as possibilities. We live in a world that is largely out of control, unpredictable, and frightening. Parents are busy with their own lives and problems, dealing with their own depression. And depression and suicide among teens is rising to an all time high level.

The signs of depression in teens are similar to adults, however there are some differences:

• Extreme sadness, high stress levels, or hopelessness
• Changes in diet, rapid weight loss of gain
• Not sleeping/ sleeping all day
• Withdrawal
• Rebellious behavior

• Drop in grades, skipping school

• Feeling sick often, headaches, low back pain, or tiredness
• Use of alcohol or drugs

• Promiscuous sexual activity
• A preoccupation with death, dying, and morbidity

If your child shows these signs of depression it is important to consult a professional. Of course, any threats of suicide should be taken seriously.

Early in your child's life build relationship and open communication with him. These strong bonds will help you to get through the rocky teen years. Use lots of positive reinforcement, and make sure your child knows that you are always available for him. Spend quality time together as a family, playing games, sharing meals. If possible, be part of a church. These things strengthen family ties and help him feel a part of something.

Use words of affirmation with him. I think the Bible says it best when it states in Proverbs that the Power of Life and Death is in the tongue. With out mouths we can tear down, or build up our children. Using our words to build them up helps to build the wall that keeps depression out.

Listening is the main thing. Develop a time every day to listen to your child's hopes, dreams, fears, and concerns. Their problems may seem small to you but they are very big to your child. My children seem to seek me out in the kitchen, and while we are chopping and stirring, they are pouring out their hearts. I listen, mainly, without talking. I know that they need a place of emotional safety where they know they are valued.

Try to involve them in something they can excel at that is different from anyone else. We have a guitar player, a clarinet player, and artist, a horse trainer, and other "experts" among our children. By allowing children to be individuals and follow their interests you give them a feeling of importance and worth.

Many teens have too much time on their hands. They have fewer responsibilities than ever before. Giving kids something to take care of, a job to do, helps them build their sense of worth and importance.

Teens are people, with positive and negative qualities. Learn to enjoy your teens for the individuals they are.