Having been a telemarketer for several years of my life, I would like to share with you common tactics used by many of my "customers" to prematurely end our phone conversations. Though there are may techniques ranging from extremely rude to rather demure, we will discuss some of the more popular 'no's' I have come across.

Though it's true that many telemarketers work from scripts, the best of the best have typically memorized and amended these scripts to fit their own personal sales goals. Many telemarketing professionals have created their own scripts entirely, or have become accustomed to 'winging it'. When calling a prospect on the telephone, we phone pros generally have many techniques to steer the conversation our way by eliciting only the answers we would like to hear from you, while not providing the opportunity for you to say no. In fact, many of my former associates make a very comfortable living this way. However, it is not impossible to say no to a telemarketer. It is, however, more than a simple statement. It's borderline art form.

Step One: Before the salesperson can get too far off the ground with their speech, try and interrupt them mid sentence. I know, this sounds terribly rude, yet I have found it is one of the most effective ways of breaking through the mental programming they have instilled in themselves. A simple "Is this a sales call" will suffice to throw them temporarily off their game.

Step Two: The response to they will provide to you can come in a number of forms - no, this is not a sales call, I am calling to inform you of: __blank__. (You've won our raffle, you've been selected to participate, and the list goes on). Occasionally, they will be honest and tell you plainly that yes, they are a salesperson. This is your opportune moment to tell them flat out, "I'm not interested. Thank you". (Unless you are). Typically, this is enough to discourage them from further attempts at a sale. By this point, as professionals, we recognize your impatience with sales calls and will move on to the next person. We do, however, hold on to your information and pass it along to new hires so that they can get a feel for the job without blowing "hot" leads.

Step Three: Before hanging up the phone, you may want to ask them to remove you from their sales prospect list. You can do this simply by saying "Take me off your list". At this point it becomes federal law for them to remove you from their collection of leads and they will be unable to contact you any further. However, if you have voluntarily provided the information either through entering a contest or raffle on paper or electronically, do not expect them to stop calling. By law, they will still be able to call you every day if they are so inclined.

Step Four: Without allowing the salesperson to get too many words in on the conversation, you can now hang up the phone. In fact, the entire conversation could be done in 30 seconds or less and would sound like this:

"Is this a sales call"

"Yes / No / Blah blah blah"

"Ok. Well, I'm not interested, thank you. Please take me off your list" - Hang up phone.

In addition to the aforementioned method of being polite and having the salesperson remove you from their list, there are several other methods you can use to discourage telemarketers from calling your home.

The curse-out is one of the simplest methods known to man to thwart the methods of phone sales professionals. Simply answer the phone and after the first few words from the salesperson curse at them as ferociously as you can and hang up the phone. The drawback to this method is that we typically remember you and may make it a point to call you again tomorrow. And the next day. In fact, we may never stop calling you.

Even easier to perform than the curse-out, the quickie is possibly the most common of methods used to discourage telemarketers world wide. To perform the quickie, simply answer the phone and while said phone professional is mid-sentence, hang up the phone. The drawback to this method is that your name and information will be shuffled from new hire to new hire until you can't take it any more.

If you're feeling particularly vicious, and your acting chops are up to par, this may be the preferred method for you. Simple to perform it is only slightly time consuming as you feign great interest in the product we are pitching. We begin to salivate as we can hear the enthusiasm in your voice for our product. However, when the time comes to ask you for your preferred method of payment you stall on us, saying you don't have any money, credit cards or checks and that you really have no interest in buying. Thanking us for our time, you hang up the phone. Dejected and furious, we destroy your information knowing it is a battle we will never win. The drawbacks to this method is that occasionally, we will extend credit to you so that you can have your purchase shipped right away, or simply bill you for an item you really had no intention of purchasing anyways. You (almost) always get your money back, but it's still a hell of a hassle.

Finally, there is the preemptive strike. Free, and easy to perfmorm it will protect you from the majority of telemarketers. If you have a few moments, head on over to the Do Not Call Registry and register your phone numbers with this federal agency. They will add your information to their list and distribute it to all registered telemarketing angencies within the United States. If you continue to recieve calls from a particularily persistent telemarketer, you can report the number from which they call to the registry and their company will be investigated for violating the federal do not call staute. The Do Not Call Registry can be found at www.donotcall.gov.

I know that many people view telemarketers as vile, wretched creatures created by Satan himself to interrupt your pleasant evenings. However, in truth we are hard working individuals who are simply trying to make a living. Typically, we enjoy people, like to talk with them and share their experiences. I agree that there are some companies who will push the boundaires of what is acceptable, and I have known a few individuals to cross the line with customers sevemore than one. So I ask that the next time a telemarketer calls you, be firm yet polite and decline his offer. Going forward, you will recieve less and less sales calls. And don't expect to hear me on the other end of your phone any time soon. I have left the business permanently.