Separate from Your Husband in Seven Steps

Before you separate from your husband, make sure that you do not love him anymore. You need to do some serious pros and cons of staying with a person that you do not love any more or braving it if the two of you have children. If you feel that you will miss him, then you should not separate as you still may be carrying feeling from him. Go on a vacation with just you and the children and if you do not miss him and do not look forward to returning home to him after the vacation, you probably do not love him. Take other tests where you travel alone or visit a place that the two of you usually travel together is see if you feel relieved that he is not with you. The feeling of relief or dread of returning home to him after being away means for sure that you do not love him anymore.

Check a Pros and Cons list and see if you have written more reasons to stay with him than to leave. If you have written more reasons to stay with him than to leave, then you should not separate. However, if you have written more reasons why you should leave, then you should consult a professional counselor and then a divorce attorney

If you feel that you are better of without him, that is an indication that you should separate. You should not stay in a relationship just for the children. A woman's intuition is really her feeling about a situation

If your intuition is telling you to leave, then listen to your intuition. Your intuition is really your good sense telling you the right thing to do. Learn to listen to yourself and do not discount your thoughts on the fact that you may need to separate from your husband.Your intuition is telling you that you do not love your husband anymore and do not see any reason at all to stay in the relationship. Try other tests that only you know will prove that you love or do not love him anymore. If that sense of freedom comes over you at the end of each test, then it is best to let him go and get the separation.  Save your money and start thinking about getting a job so that you can afford legal fees if it comes down to you having to divorce your husband.  If he is the head of the household, you need to think of ways that you can support yourself without him. 

After you have performed the separation test check and have decided that you are better off separated from your husband, the next step is to see a marriage counselor. If you can not afford a marriage counselor and belong to a church, the church clergy is a great source to help you. The clergy is going to try to mend the marriage but if they see that you are unhappy in the marriage they will most likely tell you to try the trial separation. Getting advice from intermediary gives you an objective view of your situations. Marriage Counselors and Clergymen bring out information about the relationship that you probably have not thought of. These are trained professionals and will not steer you wrong. Their job is to get the best case scenario especially if there are children involved. Do not hesitate to do a Google search online and there is also legal help on line to question your choice to separate. If he does not agree to see the marriage counselor or the clergy with you, then you should see a marriage counselor alone. If you are considering separation, that means that you are not satisfied with some aspect if not all aspects of the marriage.

Get legal assistance after you have talked the separation over with the marriage counselor or clergy. Legal advice is available online as well as in your local phone book. If possible use a lawyer referral service or ask your family and friends if they know of a lawyer who specialized in legal separation. Legal separations are likely to last for a year before the divorce papers can be drawn up. It is important that you check the laws in your individual states as state laws on legal separations vary. Let the lawyer do most of the talking and do not talk on and on about your relationship. It may feel soothing to discuss your hurts and harms with the lawyer but that is not his job to listen. Your marriage counselor's job is to listen and offer a constructive solution. The lawyer's job is to make sure that the separation is accomplished legally and conforms to the laws of the state. More often than not, the lawyer is going to ask if you have a place to stay and if you want custody of the children. At this point, you must be careful because you want to have shelter for your children. If there has been violence in the marriage, it is up to you to get shelter. Depending on the case, the lawyer will let your wishes be known to your husband and then you must have him to sign the separation papers.

Most marriages that are about to be broken, are solved with co-habitation until the finances are in place for one or both to move out of the house or the apartment. The co-habitation depends on the personality of your husband and the status of your relationship. If he is angry and disagrees with the separation, then you may have a problem getting him to leave. Most judges are more considerate when they are convinced because of separate checking accounts or separate bedrooms that the relationship is one of separation. If there has been abuse in the marriage, the agreement may have him to find another place to live. The scenario plays out differently depending on the state and the state of the relationship. The bottom line is that you need to think about and to prepare where you are to live when the separation papers are drawn up. There was a case once where the woman wanted out of the relationship and bought her husband a house. If you are not working, you need to find a job to cover your living expenses and to augment your income if your are awarded any spousal support.