That Last time I was on a Horse...

Believe it or not people, I grew up on a farm. Not just a crop-growing farm either. We had all sorts of livestock including hogs, chickens, goats, rabbits, cows and horses. When I was growing up the only things we used the horses for was riding but I imagine at one time they were actually used to work the land. One of my fondest memories is watching a mare foal with my grandfather, but that is another story.

This story is about the last time I was on a horse. It wasn't so many sepia-toned years ago on the farm. Oh no. It was last year. I went on a retreat with my coworkers to a dude ranch. Just in case anyone is interested, Dictionary.com defines a dude ranch as "a ranch operated primarily as a vacation resort". And so it was. I visited the Clear Creek Guest Ranch located in Burnsville, NC. I must let you all know that this place is breathtakingly beautiful. And your cell phone and wireless internet won't work so don't even bother to bring those pesky modern things up the mountain. What does work up there is the atmosphere. And the people. And the horses. Did I forget to mention this was a ranch?

It is indeed a working dude ranch. The afternoon we arrived, we were assigned cabins and told about the general schedule of the place. We hurried into the dining hall when one of the children rang the old iron triangle on the porch and had a wonderful home-cooked country supper. Sorry all of those who want to go to this place if you are on a diet. There is nothing "lite" on the menu. But there was fried chicken, okra, macaroni and cheese and biscuits with butter and jelly. Mighty tasty.

Soon after dinner the barn manager met with everyone going riding the next day to determine their level of horsemanship. I started getting very nervous because I knew I was going riding (I had personally challenged myself) and it had been a long time since I had been on a horse. Honestly I was a little concerned for the horse as well. I am a big girl. So when Donna, the barn manager, asked me about my riding experience I told her the truth: The last time I had been on a horse it was bolted to a merry-go-round. The time before that it was a little palomino pony named Coty that my dad had given me and my siblings. Years ago. As a matter of fact, years and years ago. So she assured me that there was indeed an animal that could carry me and was gentle enough to not scare the socks off me. I settled down and sang karoke for awhile, feeling very reassured.

The next day dawned...well it didn't dawn. It was raining, just a slow soaking drizzle really and the ground was slippery mush. That little part of me that is afraid all the time said: "Ha Ha! They'll cancel the ride and you can do fun team-building exercises with your co-workers all day." Fear can make us so pathetic. Anyway, it didn't happen. We went riding anyway.

I'm literally knotted up at this point with fear. They split our group up into 2 smaller riding parties and my bosses group was the first to saddle up. They rode out of the muddy corral, up a slight incline and just at the top something spooked the barn manager's horse and, in turn, my bosses horse. My boss is terrified of horses and hers is bucking back and having a fit and she's got the biggest eyes I've ever seen. She kept saying over and over "I want to get off! I want to get off!" I'm standing in the drizzle thinking "If she's afraid, what am I going to do?!" Somehow, she stayed on the horse and I found the courage to actually get on mine.

Have I previously mentioned how long it had been since I had been on a horse? I must not be subtle about this experience. I was terrified. I was put on a sturdy and gentle horse named Jubilee. She was sweet and unflappable. But I felt like I was going to fall off and I had a death grip on the horn of the saddle. I was uncomfortable and the barn manager said I was supposed to be. I was wet and hot and afraid. Of course, I kept thinking that Jubilee could sense my fear and would eventually bolt me off her back down one of the steep mountain ravines where I would die an agonizingly slow death of humility or something. But she was a good girl. About halfway through the 2 hour ride, I realized she really didn't need me at all. She obviously had traveled the trail many times and any attempt on my part to actually guide her was met with cool equine contempt, as if she was telling me to chill out and let her drive.

I never really relaxed until the ride was almost over. That's the only part of the experience that bummed me out. We could only ride for that one day and I was angry at myself for letting the ride be consummed with fear. The trail was beautiful. The horse was gentle and even-tempered. I was a freaking basket-case! I have often thought that I would like to go back to the ranch and ride again. Maybe I will. Maybe I won't be so terrified next time. Maybe there's another horse in the world like Jubilee that wouldn't mind if I rode her. Maybe I'll find the courage to try again. Someday...