That's So Gay!
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"My mom said I can only stay out until 11 tonight."
"Really? Isn't your curfew normally midnight? THAT'S SO GAY!"
"Yeah I know. Totally gay!"
So after I heard my 17-year old sister make a comment to her 17-year old friend... I wondered, "What's so gay about a curfew?" It isn't that she truly thought of a curfew as being homosexual, but she thought it was stupid or lame. So why are we equating "gay" with "stupid"?
I understand that words change meaning from time to time. And that those words are accepted and used in everyday vernacular. However, taking a word that already has a definition and then making a new definition that is so negative, well, I just don't like it.
The fact is that it is common today for high school students (and others) to hear "That's So Gay!" on a daily basis with 9 out of 10 students hearing it at their own schools. Now ThinkB4YouSpeak.com has launched a campaign along with celebrities such as Wanda Sykes and Hilary Duff to change the minds of students and to think before they speak. The PSAs show the celebrities changing the teen's looks into an insult, to show that when a term that is part of you is used in a negative way... it hurts. The point is to make people realize that what they are saying doesn't even make sense and can be offensive.
Even if you're someone who doesn't use the phrase, you can help. If someone says, "That's So Gay!" around you, such as your child, a friend, or your child's friend. Just ask them what they meant by it and challenge them to "say something original."
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Comments
Yep, on the school bus..but it's on South Park nearly every episode. It's become "the term" of dissatisfaction..or rebellion. Not a pleasant one either..
you are soooo right on. I have been hearing "that's so gay" more and more lately. Even though you are right and it is all on South Park etc., the deeper issue here is that it is still LEGAL to discriminate against non-heterosexuals. Heterosexist privilege runs deep and insidious in our culture. Addressing the words we use is a start, addressing the systems of power that undermine individual rights and liberty is the main battlefield, however.
Hopefully starting small and realizing that words DO hurt will help with dismantling some of the larger social problems. Great hub, thanks for bringing it up!
One of many phrases people use, many times without realizing what they're really saying. The one that really gets me? 'Retard' or 'retarded'. Makes me cringe EVERY time!
I actually know homosexual people who use this term as stupid
So I think it really depends on context and intent behind the statement to make it offensive
Yeah but just because they're gay is doesn't make it right. They are offending other homosexuals (and themselves). They can 'Take it Back' but it shouldn't mean "stupid".
You have a good poing there. The youths were not allow to say that's so gay considering it really is an insult to uhhh the lesbian girls. Think the next word kids need to work on is either whatever or bite me.
Love you Cole, you always make me smile ; )
no, mayhmong, the next word they need to work on is retarded. It's the same case of changing the meaning of the word to be negative.
I agree Koby. "Whatever" or "bite me" do not offend a group of people. Annoying, maybe. Offensive, no. I think there are more important things to focus on. ThinkB4YouSpeak also focuses on other sayings that are common but should be eliminated. Thanks for all the comments everyone. And thanks Captain :) that's why I'm here!
A good time to point this out to me, I recently heard my 16 year old granddaughter use those words in that way to her mother. I did not have a chance to ask her about it. I will bring it to her attention.
I love that people try to be PC (rather than propagating irresponsibility), but GAY isn't the only recycled 'offense' on the slang market. There are far more words that degrade aspects of femininity, and I'm guilty of using them myself. For better or worse, I think phrases just evolve uncontrollably without the intent of insulting respective origins. A good 'for instance' would be to compare the first definition of GAY to its second...there is offense to be found anywhere, yes?
Wanda Sykes is "So Gay!" No, literally, she is Gay...hahaha. Oh I kill myself sometimes.
I actually use this term and yes I use it not to deem something homosexual, but stupid or lame as you had posted. I was actually in a band and we had hired a drummer (who was freeking amazing) who was homosexual. Anyway, we were practicing a new tune and I was singing and playing this part a bit different that the original version and I asked everyone..."Did that sound Gay?"
Immediatly I was embarrased and was expecting the worst from him, but he didn't say anything. I knew he had heard it and I figured I would at least address the issue with him later on.
I went to him and brought up my comment and he told me no one in the gay community really takes offense to things like that unless they are outspoken douchebags looking for attention.
Now, I am not saying you are one of those Douchbags looking for attention because I truley don't believe you are, I think your hub was sparked by truely good intentions.
I will probably never stop saying things are gay but I appreciate your opinion. Have a great day!
Hy Adam, I really appreciate your comment. Yes, while some may not find it offensive others do. I'm glad your friend wasn't upset, obviously you didn't say it to be offensive, really I don't think anyone does. Its just a matter of realizing that some people may not appreciate it. Its just really unnecessary. Thanks again :)
I think this whole society has become way to "politically correct," and I do not think we all have to walk on eggshells all the time. I will continue to use that phrase as I have done so the past several years. When a new phrase that takes its place sounds better I will use that one. But Wanda Sykes is not going to change my mind about anything. Maybe if Brad Pitt, Geroge Cloney, Will Smith, or Wes Anderson said that but not her :)
I have to admit that I used to call everything "gay" as a kid, didn't expect that to be something that kids did in America as well to be honest, although I probably couldn't tell you why I did that.... I seem to remember most kids saying that habitually.... but that sure explains why nobody ever 'came out' at school. You have brought back some memories with this one!
This is completely random but:
Did you know 'Gay' started meaning 'Homosexual' when homosexuals called themselves 'Gay' to get rid of a negative image.
Also; in the 1970/80s a British Punk band called the Tom Robinson Band sang a song called "Glad to be Gay" - it has great lyrics:
"The British Police are the best in the world
I don't believe one of these stories I've heard
'Bout them raiding our pubs for no reason at all
Lining the customers up by the wall
Picking out people and knocking them down
Resisting arrest as they're kicked on the ground
Searching their houses and calling them queer
I don't believe that sort of thing happens here
Sing if you're glad to be gay
Sing if you're happy that way
Pictures of naked young women are fun
In Titbits and Playboy, page three of The Sun
There's no nudes in Gay News our last magazine
But they still find excuses to call it obscene
Read how disgusting we are in the press
The News of The World and the Sunday Express
Molesters of children, corruptors of youth
It's there in the paper, it must be the truth
Sing if you're glad to be gay
Sing if you're happy that way
Don't try to kid us that if you're discreet
You're perfectly safe as you walk down the street
You don't have to mince or make bitchy remarks
To get beaten unconscious and left in the dark
I had a friend who was gentle and short
Got lonely one evening and went for a walk
Queerbashers caught him and kicked in his teeth
He was only hospitalised for a week
Sing if you're glad to be gay
Sing if you're happy that way
So sit back and watch as they close all our clubs
Arrest us for meeting and raid all our pubs
Make sure your boyfriend's at least 21
So only your friends and your brothers get done
Lie to your workmates, lie to your folks
Put down the queens and tell anti-queer jokes
Gay Lib's ridiculous, join their laughter
'The buggers are legal now, what more are they after?'
Sing if you're glad to be gay
Sing if you're happy that way"
Not the sort of thing you can sing whilst walking down the street though...
Anyway, my point is, I agree. Where I go to school, an all boys school, teachers now have a go at us if we say "that's gay" because if people are gay they feel shunned and mocked. I couldn't agree more with the teachers.
Luke
Also, I love the Wanda Sykes advert (y)
Luke
Thanks for the lyrics Luke and the great comments :)
Well it is up to you newyork what you say and who you listen to :)
Thanks Ryan ;)
This is great. I was starting to feel like I was the only queer out there that has a problem with this. My blood literally boils when I hear people say this because I know how they mean it. Then half the time if you say anything the response you get is, "Well, I didn't mean it like that!"
I was driving my younger sister home with a few of her friends one time and this kid just kept on saying that and calling his friend a "fag." (Which is a term I don't even like in the proper context.)I basically told him I didn't appreciate it and if he couldn't control himself he was gonna have to walk because I was gonna listen to that in my own car of all places. (Yeah, he wound up walking.)
Thanks for raising awareness on this, Colebabie. It's another way people objectify and discount those who are different from 'us' - makes it easier if we reduce them to mere objects. We are intellectually lazy and want to simplify the world into black and white so we don't have to think. Understandable though...thinking less means more time for shopping!
RedElf says:
6 months ago
WOW - I heard the expression several times on the bus (teen-agers after school) but had no idea what they were talking about...thanks so much for the information and a great hub!