The Dawning of a New Day
62Today she was tired of being afraid.
His violence has erupted, again.
His gun fire in the basement has stilled.
Footsteps. Footsteps.
The pans in the kitchen are rattling.
She's hiding in the bedroom. Listening, Waiting. Barely breathing.
Footsteps getting closer.
He approaches, frypan in hand, the odor of alcohol strong.
She backs towards the corner. Looking him in the eye.
Those red, glazed, angry eyes.
The eyes of someone who used to love her, now different.
The long forgotten vows of marriage.
He swings the pan at her head. A dent in the wall.
She backs up just one step. He steps forward.
He swings the pan at her head. A second dent in the wall. So she will remember.
She backs up. He steps forward.
Another swing. Another miss. A third dent in the wall.
She thinks, "I just have to step forward. One step forward. This will be over"
But she does not step forward. She cannot step backward.
She looks him in the eye. He turns and leaves laughing.
Today she lost her fear.
Today her feet gained strength.
Today is a new day.
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I agree -- the ending is strong -- good work!
That was me, my life, I was 20. That was a huge day for me. Thank you Maggs, many many hugs.
Teresa, Thank you too! I really wrestled with how to do this one well.
Oh my goodness Can, I am sending you a whole lot of virtual hugs...got em? that made me want to cry. I hoped you weren't talking about you, but as I read, I knew you were :( I am so glad you are not in that place any more. I am proud of you for standing tall in the face of danger.
Janetta - that was the first stand, there were more, but the first made all the difference until I could run.. it took me a while but run I did. Thank you for all the hugs, I got them and hold them tight!
Candie, yours is the extremely poignant voice of heaven-only-knows how many women out there...
Amazing!!!!! It's all about that first step. That first hint that you aren't going to cower in the corner, afraid. I hope more people read this!!!!
I grew up with parents who never physically fought, and never argued in front of their children. To me, that was normal. I could not believe it the first time my wife threw something at me, especially since she really was not angry with me.
Tales of intimidation in marriages and relationships bother me. Why would a man want his wife to fear him? It seems so much healthier to earn her respect, and work hard to keep it.
I guess I just don't understand violence.
Very touching. More power to you
Kudos - you were strong - a real David and Goliath moment and you stood and looked the monster in the eye and he backed away laughing like a coward.
FP - I would love it if this could give someone strength. I don't "wallow" in it, it is my past.. I'm just happy to have this 'now! Thank you!
Anne - That would be my hope as well! Thanks for dropping by!
Tom - It's not something someone who's "healthy" can contemplate, what goes on in the mind of someone who's not. Even being in it, I don't understand it.. some of it, but not all of it.
Sabu - Thank you, Your kind words mean a lot to me.
Iphigenia - He was a coward.. This was that "Goliath" moment, but it took a couple more years to really understand how strong I could be.. The first step!
Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart!
Thanks for sharing, Candie, powerful stuff.
Hawkes- Thank you for reading and commenting! I had to share it, someone out there needs it.. I'd like to think it will help. Thank you again!
So now you're accusing me of being healthy, eh?! Why I ought to . . .
I do understand that they want to dominate, and how someone being weak and subserviant makes them feel in control and powerful. What I don't understand is the desire to dominate when it comes to relationships. The beauty, it seems, is in the mutual desire to elevate one another.
Hey Tom! You know I thought I had put all this behind me till the other day a guy I know was pointing and waiving a BBQ spatula at me trying to make a point about something and I totally froze. My friend Kat had to intervene cuz I couldn't take my eyes off the spatula. That's why I needed to write this. Greg showed me this kind of relationship, while it lasted (he died in Dec), now I'd love to know that kind of beauty again. Maybe someday. Thank you! A lot!
Oh Candie - I'm just trying to be there for a dear friend who's been thru this and finally stopped being afraid and walked out.
But 20??? that's soooo young!! :(
May your now and ever after be filled with nothing but smiles and a cherishing love!
I've read about Greg. He sounds like he was great for you and to you. Maybe someday you will know that kind of love again. I hope so.
Shalini - Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It was a scary 4 years. It was young, especially since was NOT the way I was raised. But here's to a New Day, a new me, and a valuable group of new friends!! :)
Me, too, Tom... one day perhaps. He wasn't perfect, by any means, but he made a difference for my heart! Thank you, now to find the tissues! :) You made me smile/teary!
Thank you so much for giving a voice to all our independance days. So many of us never find that kind of courage. God bless.
oh wow.
that was so beautifully written and so strong. you are truely inspiring candie.
I love you very much.
Actually Candie that gave me goosebumps too. Domestic violence makes my skin cringe to put it mildly. Have also experienced it first hand. I love the ending "today she lost her fear". That is a very powerful message to women, who tend to wilt away and stay in these relationships, as the fear holds them there.
RedElf - Thank you. I hope it gets from my page into their hearts!
Simply Amy - I love you too.. "daughter!"
BP - I hope I can give them a "light at the end of the tunnel", and wings on their feet - to move. It took me a couple more years to be able to run.. I was lucky to have had those 2 years. Some are not.
Thank you all for your thoughts, they mean so much to me!!
"Today she lost her fear!" Wow...powerful. I can only imagine what that girl of 20 was thinking. So glad she became empowered...only wish it had been with two iron frying pans to the head of that numbskull! (Kind of like cymbals crashing...) And he could have felt what that feels like...a little better!
I used to feel this way . . .
MPM- that was me.. way back when, seems like a lifetime ago and seems like yesterday. Thank you, wish you could have been there to hit him with the frying pan! Thank you for this great comment!
Dr. Nancy - It's hard to feel so vulnerable. You want to trust, to believe the best in your spouse, but sometimes you just can't. I've learned a lot along the way! Thank you for understanding!
thanks this has inspired me to become empowered
Lumberjack - I am proud of you. If you ever feel like sharing, send me an email. I am here for ya! Hugs!
Candie
This was very very VERY powerful in a not in your face sort of way. The tension was almost palpable. The whole poem is riverting. A big statement is what it is! :D
Hey Cris. You know this was 30 years ago and I can remember it like it was yesterday. This was only one of many bad battles, and not the worst one. Just the one that changed the tide. I am honored more than you know that it has been received this way. I don't want people to think I wallow, because I don't. For some reason it felt like this was the time for me to share it, somewhere. Thank you for being here, with me, part of my hubber family!
PS.. It's a great reunion!! Wish we could all be there in person!!
Today is indeed a new dawn, I hope you are well my friend.
Thank you BC, I am well! It's nice to see you here!
*hugs* Wonderful!!!! Man, if you ever find the time and will to recite this, call my hotline because I want to give you this as a track. I'm not kidding, Candie. I've got so many sounds going through my head, all to your excellent word paint.
I will Ixxy, I was wondering when you'd have time to read this, I know you're really busy and I'm grateful you are here. I will call you, but it will take some "out louding" alone not to break up.. I will practice and call you! Much love!
Thanks! Practice makes perfect, Miss Peach, and when I get my studio back up I'll churn out some stuff for you. It'll probably go through several iterations, or permutations, but you can share the one you like the best. =)
Oh, and listen to your message before you leave it. Phones can cause some weird noises with vocals, and while I can clean them up, it makes it harder on me. ;)
Ix, I will do several retakes, I'm sure! I've been practicing all day.. Loved GlM's email!!! I'll do my best!!!
A comment....glad you found your courage....don't ever lose it....believe in yourself....don't be stupid brave....but know when to stick up for yourself.
Thank you RB! I know when to back off, and when to silently stand my ground. That day was a silent stand. I shall endeavor to keep it forever, however my self esteme has been harder to recover.
OMG!!! I'm going to have to come back when I'm not speechless...
I more than admire your courage!
LM - I needed to share a part of me, apart from the funny side of me, so you all will understand what the funny side endured, or maybe was born from the other! And to impart a nugget of hope to someone in need of a lifeline! I crave laughter and joy now, probably because of the decade of pain and loss! Thank you for your kind words!
This is such a powerful hub. I can't imagine going through something like this -- on either side. I have never grasped why domestic violence happens (my parents' 50th anniversary is coming up -- Saturday, in fact -- and they are role models for my siblings and me) but I know it does happen.
You are so courageous, and your words are touching the hearts of everyone who reads this. Your courage -- and being willing to talk about it -- will provide inspiration for others going through something similar.
I admire your strength!
Joel
Thank you Joel! My parents just had their 51st anniv..childhood sweethearts. It was time to veer off my usual stuff and share a little more about what makes me "me". Thank you for your kind words!
WOW Candie thanks for sharing that part of your life and pass. I have a similar story but thanks be to God it stoped! The dawn of a new day came when he stoped the drinking and violence and he ask for my forgiveness and I forgave and let go and let God have it! In april we had our 30th anniversary! :)
LInda, you have an amazing story, too. You should our little hub land and write about it all!
Just stopping by to read and rate up again. ;D
Ixxy! I've been practicing, and I'm almost there.. interesting the emotions it's brought back up when I read it out loud.
You, my friend, mean a lot to me!!
Nice poem, too bad those who fall in love use violence, that is not true love. He will get his match soon and will regret what he did.
Cgull - I think he does regret it, but it's so out of my hands. I've forgiven him, I did it for me, not him. He has to live with his mind, whatever state it's in, yes?!! So onward I go! Thank you for visiting!
Bravo!!!!! So many women can relate to every moment, every thought, her actions, her emotions... and thank God, many of us became brave just as she did and could finally leave the abuse!!! I applaud you my dear.... you truly share your heart and soul with you words you bless us with!!!!!
It was a defining moment for me..I remember collapsing into the corner after he left but not crying. MFG, you are a dear friend. I appreciate you so very much!
Wow, this is incredible. I am so sorry that this happened to you, this guy is not a man.
Thank you trooper! This means so much to me.. He isn't.. and never will be! But the compassion I learned from it, I wouldn't trade for the world. THanks for your wonderful sentiment!
Candie....This is so real in the words.....I could see it in my mind.....that very rarely happens. I saw mothers of some of my friends treated as they were less than dogs by their husbands and your poem made those memories rush in. It always made me fell ill to be around the men who treated their wives that way.
You did a wonderful work here. A woman with great heart. A far greater heart than the one who threatened you. Amazing!
Tom! I had been trying to find a way to share this story without "telling a story". This was was one of those that wrote itself, and left me feeling shaky afterward. I needed to share it, maybe put somemore threads into the fabric that is me, in my writing. To help someone else see it's not all happy, jolly things that run thru my mind, made me what I am.
And maybe, just maybe give someone else's feet a little more strength to stand strong. Thank you for walking this path with me.
What a beautiful poem I love it!
dori
Ah, Dori, I thank you for sharing it with me! There are so many sides to each of us and I wanted to share this little bit of me with all of you. Thank you, so much, for your friendship!
It speaks a thousand words. I too have had the dawn of my day. I is an awesome reckoning.
dori
Dori, it really is, isn't it! I would love to share yours as well, when you're ready! I would consider it a privilege!
Thank you!
My heartfelt prayer is that you will find someone wonderful and trusting with which to spend the balance of your days enjoying life as it should be enjoyed. That rendition of the abuse you suffered was so scary. I cringe just thinking about it. You wrote it beautifully and powerfully.
Great title, BTW.
Thank you Peggy, I would love to find that "special someone".. Thank you!!!
I love love love that story! How true it is!
Amy D! Ah, welcome to my hub, and thank you for your wonderful comment! I think most of us have a moment where we made a stand, maybe quietly, like I did?! I sure appreciate you stopping by and taking the time to let me know how you feel!
maggs224 says:
8 months ago
That gave me goosebumps, I love the ending