10 Ways To Break Up With Your Boyfriend, An Illustrated Guide
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1. Myspace or Facebook
I guess these days, if you really wanted to, you could just change your social networking relationship status to single - that should get the point across.
You can also update your "What are you doing now?" to something like, "I'm going out to find a real man!" or "{name} is single and ready to mingle!" and I would hope that Dear John would get the message.
2. Dear John Letter, part 1:
Speaking of "Dear John," you could always write a letter.
Get some tips from ehow.com:
"It's time to end that relationship, but you can't bring yourself to do it face-to-face. You may need to resort to a Dear John letter. Originating during World War II, when servicemen would receive letters from wives or girlfriends telling them of their involvement with other men, Dear John letters have become synonymous with breaking up."
3. Dear John Letter, part 2:
Wait a second. Who writes letters these days, anyway? Send a concise e-mail or a quick text message instead.
"Don't wan2 go out w/ u n-e-more. lol. kthxbye."
4. E-card
I think the Hallmark of break-up electronic greeting cards is someecards.com. They've got quite a variety, so if you're the greeting card type, try sending one of these.
5. "It's not you, it's me."
You can always play the caring, sympathetic card and let him down easily.
Whatever. You and your friends know the truth.
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6. Witness Protection Program
Change your phone number. Move. Change jobs. Buy a wig. Get new friends. Travel in different social circles. Do whatever you have to do to avoid your boyfriend at all costs. Eventually maybe he'll stop wondering what happened to you and will stop looking for you.
7. Do what Carrie Underwood would do.
8. Get somebody else to do the dirty work.
Have a friend break up with him for you.
No, wait, what are you, twelve? Don't do that.
9. Get him to do it for you!
I've got it! If you really don't want to be the bad girl, do whatever you have to do to get him to break up with you! Acquire some really offensive bad habits. Start moving your stuff into his apartment. Stop practicing good hygiene. Really push that marriage thing. Discuss possible baby names with him. Buy matching clothes for the two of you. Pee with the door open. Flirt with his friends.
Two words for you: love fern.
Oh, the possibilities are endless!
10. Just do it.
If things aren't working out and you're questioning whether or not you should break up with your boyfriend, maybe you should. If you have doubts, and you're not happy, there's no sense in sticking around. You've got your whole life ahead of you. There's plenty of other fish in the sea, right?
If you're in a dangerous or abusive situation, then, all joking aside - get out.
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PS - I am totally kidding and was just trying to have fun with this request.
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Comments
Very funny hub! You can always start trying to set them up with one of your friends, too. They hate that. :)
As a man I'm officially appalled by this hub...
But still laughing my ass off :)
Haha! :) They're only "suggestions." :)
Bad breath always works - simple as that!
LOL
As sad as it sounds my previous GF broke up with me by using "#1"
Very funny hub!
Wow, I didn't think anybody really DID that. Sorry to hear it!
My Last Bf Dumped Me with the old can we just be mates then the next hour he said listen to right na na na and i was stupid enouf to get bck with him but lik the daayy aftter tghat i dumped him for his best mte i found it quite funny realii if u wna get bck with ur x just tell him how much you blik him then tell him to listen to a song or if ur tryin to break up u can do it the harsh way take the l out of lover thats wat we r or the soft way i dfunno how to say this but can we just be good mates ? x
very funny, and to think some of these have actually happened...
Yaa..... This is so funny.
hahahah this is fantastic!
Actually I found myself only in part nb. 6! Other never! :)))
Very very funny!
Lazur says:
13 months ago
Fun hub:D
But I've got my fish;)