The 100 Hottest Women in the World

At some point in 'guyhood' you start to hear enough conversations about other people's types that you began to imagine your own perfect girl. She, of course can't be perfect if you didn't meet her yet and duh...perfect?

You mean the one who takes care of you first, cleans the house, cooks amazing but healthy food, looks super hot but charmingly innocent in her Christmas photo & gives blowjobs out of pure desire? Let's see...she has to take your name, have at least two BOYS, raises the kids, and of course take responsibilty for all their shortcomings. She would have no less than a 36-C size chest, a tight little ass and bright hazel eyes that wouldn't know what to do in the world if not for you.

She is a virgin who can't get enough, has few friends but is very likable when you meet her. She has no older brothers but has felt safe everyday of her life. She plays an instrument beautifully...but only for you. She plays your instrument beautifully but has no idea where she learned it. A Natural.

She's willing to do that fantasy you've been dreaming about....She's up on the bathroom sink and as you become one she turns on the water with her hands behind her back. It's warm and soapy bubble time and oh my god she's lathering up the d-cups! (upgrades happen quickly in these kind of fantasies)

It could possibly be euphoria...right here, right now...driving passionately into her, fingers deeply embeded in her long flowing locks of auburn hair. She looks you dead in the eye and says, "You can stand under my umbrella...ella ella eh eh eh"!

Guess what? She's out there somewhere! Take all the time you need to sow your royal oats because she is just waiting...on TV.

Yeah, the fun ends right there fellas. She's fictional. You can have your ideal woman if you're a good-looking rich bastard but how often is that the case? Just don't be stupid enough to ignore what is in front of you. Like that great line in Moulin Rouge says, "The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn, Is to Love and Be Loved in Return." --regardless of the price to you. Tis truly better to have loved and lost....but I'm not saying, "Love The One You're With" either. Pick a cliche that works for you. :0)

The best advice I can give you is this.......an original poem.

• Words are like a turn-on, a desert-quenching sigh
• They drip along the spinal column, disecting our desire
• Unleashing such a carnal burst of liquid funny goo
• Our kisses smell like applesauce but taste like honeydew
• The letters on the keyboard slip inside your underpants
• Creating stimulation. Do you dance with it's advance?
• Or do they make your thighs shiver? A willing chilling yes?
• You can't deny the succulence that words indeed possess.

in other words, Talk to her. Listen to her. Love her and be grateful!

FYI: I don't read Maxim or watch E! and DO NOT keep up after every new piece of jailbait that comes around. (i.e. whatsherface...Vanessa Hudgens)

If you have a problem with me picking real women instead of models, celebutantes no problem, make your own list!

Now let's get shallow...

The 100 Hottest Women in the World......of Pop Culture.

1. Sarah Silverman "Sarah Smile. Won't you smile awhile for me."
2. Ana Beatriz Barros the photos speak for themselves.
3. Scarlett Johansson hot in "Match Point" & "Lost In Translation"
4. Beyonce Knowles always classy and beautiful. Mrs. Jiggaman
5. Jessica Alba is really #1 and everybody knows it! Perfect.
6. Jenna Fischer of Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company Fame
7. Gisele Bundchen aka Tom Brady's incredible supermodel.
8. Reese Witherspoon - Super-Hot in the film "Freeway"
9. Zooey Deschanel - the one who could make me leave my wife.
10. Rachel McAdams - Ditto. Sorry honey.
11. Jennifer Beals - Forget "Flashdance" man, have you ever seen "Devil in a Blue Dress" with Denzel?!? Whoa.
12. Natalie Portman - Lolita Hot in "Beautiful Girls"
13. Eva Mendez - So So sexy in "We Own The Night"
14. Jennifer Aniston - Human Sexy in "The Good Girl"
15. Elizabeth Shue - Unbelievably Hot in "Leaving Las Vegas"
16. Marisa Tomei - Wait til you see "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead". You'll understand.
17. Kate Beckinsale is a natural beauty. No doubt about that.
18. Rosario Dawson is always hot but naked in Oliver Stone's "Alexander"
19. Sienna Miller is all kinds of hot in "Factory Girl" & "Interview"
20. Angelina Jolie blew our minds in "Gia" and we never recovered.
21. Christina Ricci jumped 21 spots since I saw "Black Snake Moan"
22. Holly Hunter is MILF hot in "Laurel Canyon" & "Thirteen"
23. Amy Adams is "Enchanted" but adorable in "Junebug"
24. Thandie Newton is quite possibly the most beautiful black woman ever.
25. Rachel Bilson I don't know what she does but I like looking at her.
26. Salma Hayek has been stunning since birth! Caliente!
27. Kate Moss skinny bitch, yes! Crazy dangerous hottie, oh yeah!
28. Maggie Gyllenhaal - Proof: "Secretary" or "Sherrybaby"
29. Tyra Banks duh! One of the hottest bodies of all time!
30. Jennifer Love Hewitt I Yi Yi ! I'm biting my lip!
31. Rebecca Romijn again...Perfect!
32. Tamara Tunie makes coronary work sexy on Law and Order :SVU ~ My biggest crush Ever for a TV star.
33. Katie Holmes - We all dream of rescuing her from an evil captor.
34. Milla Jovovich is The Fifth Element! Hottest one in "Dazed & Confused" too.
35. Selma Blair - Talk to me after you see "Storytelling"
36. Gabrielle Union - She is the #1 Stunna! Met her...stunning.
37. Franka Potente a/k/a Run Lola Run and she's Jason Bourne's girl.
38. Amy Smart blew us away naked in "Roadtrip"
39. Mena Suvari blew Kevin Spacey away in "American Beauty"
40. Linda Fiorentino is a bad bad girl! See "The Last Seduction"
41. Evan Rachel Wood is hot in "Across The Universe" as Lucy
42. Elisha Cuthbert aka "The Girl Next Door", Jack Bauer's kid on "24".
43. Tea Leoni is married to David Duchovny. Lucky Bastard!
44. Rachel Weisz is EVIL HOT in Neil LaBute's "The Shape of Things"
45. Uma Thurman is Ass-kickin' Grrl Power Hot in "Kill Bill"
46. Lucy Liu has the sexiest facial freckles of all time.
47. Keri Russell in "Waitress" & "August Rush" had a great '07
48. Shakira is liquid sex personalified, whatever that means.
49. Mischa Barton is eye candy.
50. Heather Graham is nude in "Boogie Nights" & "Killing Me Softly"
51. Gillian Anderson gave Sci-Fi geeks an semi-acheivable fantasy.
52. Christina Applegate you gotta put me on.
53. Kirsten Dunst in "Marie Antoinette" is still in my dreams.
54. Isla Fisher - I'm such a sucka for the redheads! Knockout from "The Wedding Crashers" and often confused with Amy Adams
55. Paz Vega - someone to look out for.
56. Cindy Crawford is still here because she's Cindy Crawford.
57. P!nk is the girl that you wanna tame in bed cause she's wild!
58. Sarah Chalke makes watching Scrubs somewhat bearable.
59. Debi Mazar who I like in a vampish sorta way.
60. Annabella Sciorra was amazing in "Romeo Is Bleeding"
61. Vanessa Ferlito has crashed the chart! Death Proof hottie.
62. Gina Gershon's sex scene with Jennifer Tilly in "Bound" is A++
63. Halle Berry was hotter before we saw it all in "Monster's Ball"
64. Christina Aguilera gets hotter everyday. A Fixer-Upper.
65. Eliza Dushku may have no talent but she's a star in my book!
66. Juliette Lewis is living off past glory from "Natural Born Killers" & "Cape Fear"
67. Amy Poehler is another funny chick I just wanna f*@k so bad.
68. Phoebe Cates "Fast Times at Ridgemont" wouldn't be the same without her.
69. Rihanna is only here temporarily because she gets hotter every second!
70. Elle MacPherson is nude in the indie film "Sirens" & appears in the David Mamet classic "The Edge"
71. Pamela Anderson is so hot but I don't know where to put her.
72. Natasha Lyonne is ugly duckling HOTT!!! I want her too. Smart + Funny = Hott
73. Emily Blunt took my notice in "The Devil Wears Prada"
74. Shannon Elizabeth deserves an award from men worldwide for "American Pie"
75. Eva Longoria is growing on me. I hate her show so I miss out.
76. Charlize Theron is so hilariously hot in her sex scene with James Spader in "2 Days in the Valley"
77. Julia Louis-Dreyfus for that scene on the couch with Jerry when the naked channel comes on.
78. Evangeline Lilly is in the TOP 10 with Sawyer but #77 with Jack.
79. Kristin Davis who makes "Sexy and the City" bearable for men around the globe!
80. Catherine Keener as Maxine in "Being John Malkovich" is my dream fantasy partner for S&M.
81. Drew Barrymore - Where do you put someone who flashed David Letterman?
82. Amy Winehouse is the girl you just wanna save. Her voice makes me touch myself.
83. Jeri Ryan - Seven of Nine. I Love You. When you get to Earth, you can stay with me.
84. Juliana Margulies is the one I'm not sure about. One day hot, one day not.
85. Cheryl Hines is hot because she made it seem possible that someone could put up men like me & Larry David.
86. Jennifer Connelly should be higher but she's not always there is she?
87. Penelope Cruz is a cocaine princess in "Blow"
88. Kate Winslet is naked in every other film she's in. Look it up.
89. Helena Bonham Carter is goth hot! "Fight Club" & "Sweeney Todd"
90. Cameron Diaz is irresistible hot even when she's being annoying.
91. Diane Lane The Child Star, "The Outsiders" & "Unfaithful"
92. Claire Danes is hot despite the awkward nudity with Steve Martin in "Shopgirl"
93. Tina Fey is climbing the charts!
94. Fairuza Balk is a another crazy goth girl I love!
95. Neve Campbell is nude and stunningly awesome in "When Will I Be Loved"
96. Chloe Sevigny from "Kids" actually performs fellatio in "The Brown Bunny"
97. Lisa Bonet is the actress most likely to be rediscovered by Quentin Tarantino
98. Anne Hathaway topless in "Havoc" was quite a shock. Good for her.
99. Alyssa Milano will always be hot in a baseball cap!
100. Tania Raymonde of TV's "Lost"

and Please, keep in mind, I am a comment junkie...