Hi, my name is Patty and I am the mother of six, from the oldest graduating from college, gasp, next week, to the baby, in the third grade. Top to bottom, it's an even split, three are affected with serious food allergies, the other three, are safe.

(please check out the site www.cookingallergyfree.com, if you haven't already it leads you to other helpful links, offers substitutions for eggs and the like, and also shares recipes...you can share yours too!)

Tomorrow I have yet another meeting with my school , this time with yet another new principal to clarify my one wish for my young son Harry that next year's teacher can be sensitive to his food allergy, like his second grade teacher and his kindergarten teacher were. It's spotty, kinda, catch-as-catch can. More than most teachers are not equipped with the emotional make-up/training, to 'deal' , for lack of a better word, with a child in their classroom suffering from a food allergy.

No, I am not being melodramatic, though I am not in a positive mood this evening, they do suffer.

Last year Harry's second grade teacher and I met. I had one request, that he not be left out of food celebrations in the class. No problem for this teacher. She said, "Harry, I have some food allergies too...how about this, we look out for each other, deal?" And then they shook on it. That Fall she sent out a letter, matter-of-facto, to re-cap . It said simply that all birthdays were to be celebrated with non-food means. Feel free to teach yoga, read a book, send in stickers...but no food. She did not go into singleing out that there was a child in the class with a peanut allergy. I really appreciated this tactic, which avoided other moms on the beach, who had gotten the all-too familiar hot pink slip stating that 'this year your child shares a classroom with a child with a life-threatening peanut allergy" pointing the finger at my son. Please do not send in any products containing peanuts for snack. Your child , can, however, have these products in the cafterteria for lunch'. Very nice. But not really. The moms then go on to complain. 'Oh, great. Now because of so and so, my Johnny can't have his peanutbutter crackers for snack. What, oh, what, can I possibly send in for snack that he will eat?" I always wanted to first cringe, than die, than deny that it was my kid who depriving their kid of a peanutbutter snack....far be it from me, who was just trying to concentrate on a snack that wouldn't kill my child. But this has no bearing on the birthday parade of snacks....although, this seriously needs to be addressed as well. Uniformity is what the FAAMA (Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Managment Act of 2008) Bill is all about. Giving schools a uniform plan to take care of allergic kids in the school setting. Now, the school should have a blanket policy that states that students are not to bring peanut containing snacks into the classroom, across the board (of course, in the cafeteria at lunch is a different setting...where, not to my perfect idea, PA (peanut allergic)kids are sequestered 'safely' away at a lone PA free table).

I loved that his second grade teacher did not go into anyone having any allergies as the reason for the lack of food to celebrate b-days. The kids also made each other b-day books, and all around, had a good time, despite the lack of extra-curricular frosting.

So. Tomorrow's meeting? What can I say. That it hurts me to have my son left out? That studies have been conducted and show that the quality of life for a nine and ten year old diabetic child is better than a peanut allergic child? (I do have that study in my handy, but maybe not-so-dandy manilla file folder depending on the outcome of our meeting) That, I just want the kid to feel a part of the class, including b-days, not like the odd kid out? 'Coz that is all that I am asking. For the 12th consecutive year (my 17 year old is PA).

When was the last time you went somewhere and food was served, but you were not included? Try it on for size, it feels weird (i know this firsthand, having come up with food allergies myself in the last couple of years).

So...the ABC's of Food Allergies?

A is for Aggravation when situations aren't handled with care, but for Applause and Accolades, when a child's feelings and emotions, not just health, are taken into consideration.

B is for Bravado. For each and every kid who has had to put on a Brave face when faced with the food parade at school, of which they could not partake, not by choice. Nor could they leave the classroom, rather, sitting there staring at the other children with their own 'special snack', which wasn't special at all. Just different. Like them.

C is for Charity, Christianity. Be charitable to these kids. Be a Christian. And most of all, C is for Caring. Please, Care about them.

Blessings and Honour,

Patty

a big PS MORE THAN MOST KIDS AND MOMS ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE OF PA KIDS....I THINK IT IS THE PRINCIPAL AND DISTRICT ADMINSTRATOR'S WHO ARE INTIMIDATED BY THE ONE OR TWO IN EVERY CLASS WHO THEY THINK WILL RAISE A 'STINK' IF THE NUTS ARE TAKEN OUT AND THE BIRTHDAY FOODS (NOT TREATS)