The Art of Hooking Up

In today's fast-paced society, everything is measured by how quick and how effectively something can be achieved. Lose ten pounds in a day, get a whole meal in under a minute, connect with someone across the globe instantly and even get a date without even stepping out of the house. Nowadays, everyone wants to skip all the middle ground when going from point A to point B. It's proven that eating healthy and exercising moderately will drop those pesky extra pounds; in fact, it will even keep them gone but no one wants to go through that turmoil. And why should you? Just take your lunch break, get liposuction and poof you'll look like Lindsey Lohan or Nicole Richie instantly. This sort of trend has even managed to be adopted into the relationship arena, or as it is commonly referred to, one night stands and hooking up.

While random hook ups may not be everyone's favorite tasty indulgence, they do provide a way to be rid of all that unwanted sexual tension without having to get into the drama of a relationship. That quick and easy fix that so many of us are looking for. Hell, Aldus Huxley knew what he was talking about in Brave New World where relationships are frowned upon and casual sex is encouraged starting at a ripe young age. There is no frowing upon owning your sexuality. So here are a few suggestions for those of you who do fancy a random poke every now and again.

The most important thing to know is that you must realize its a hook up. This is not a step into an everlasting relationship. If you are looking for a committed relationship or even a call back, then hooking up is not for you. Hook ups are not for the over emotional, ahem ladies, or for the weak of heart and especially not for those of you who are clingy. If your oxytocin levels get out of whack and love to bond you instantaneously with anyone you so much as kiss, then don't delve into the art of hooking up.

To successfully hook up, you have to understand that it's not about you, at all. Hooking up is all about sex. Pure animalistic, raw sex. Think primitive man. Getting naked and sweaty does not equate to 'I love you.' They do not want to hear about your cat Fluffy's cute new trick or how angry your mother makes you or how horrible your day has been. All they want to know is if you can satisfy their sexual hunger.

I even read an article a few weeks back that completely validated this point. First of all, I find it hilarious that they make such a big deal out of the fact that almost two-thirds of women have had at least 1 one night stand. Of course women have one night stands, we just don't openly brag about them like men. Most women, especially according to this article, tend to regret it whereas men, in general, do not. The other reason being the double standard still lingering in society where women are still to remain pure and wholesome and men don't become a man until they have broken their chastity belt.

The main difference between the sexes is that women like to believe this random hook up will transform into a long lasting and meaningful relationship. Seriously girls, you should know better than that. I fyou are sincerely interested in a guy do not sleep with him the first time you meet him or go out with him. Not if you really plan on seeing him again. This is why there are rules and guidelines to hooking up. Most importantly, if you remember nothing else, remember that you must keep emotions detached or you are going to fall and you are going to fall hard. Think like a man.

When I first entered the singles scene again, after a two and a half year relationship, I had gotten a bit rusty and made some bad decisions in the hook up arena. What's worse than starting to hook up with someone noly to find out that you clearly aren't on the same sexual page or that "technical" difficulties are impending the getting it on factor. First, that you allowed it to get too intimate and second that they are seriously psychologically screwed up when it comes to the opposite sex. Hand holding, grazing longingly into one another's eyes, having meaningful conversations, and kissing more than necessary, meaning longer than it takes to get the clothes off and move on to the good stuff, are not the right ingredients for a good hook up. Heed the warning about staying away from these hook up faux-pas.

Do not get intimate - reamain distant. There is an art to hooking up and only true professionals can successfully master overcoming all the emotional obstacles. This is not an easy task.

When done right though, hooking up can be just want you are looking for: a way to satisfy a hunger without all the emotional complications. Just take heed of who you bring home to bed with you cause you may end up with more or less than you bargained for.

What was the worst experience you ever had hooking up? Were you ever forced to simply walk out on someone mid-thrust? For women, how did you learn to overcome the instinctual bond our bodies want to make with anyone we have sex with?