The Art of Penis Fencing and forced femininity
79
Just Imagine:
So your swimming through the ocean, its Friday night, your all decked out in your hottest most colorful eveningwear but you have had a rough week, you really just need a release.
Ah, whats that you see, but a beautiful, slinky, brightly colored candidate coming your way. You move to intercept,
"Hey baby" you say, "Wanna wrestle". One of your best lines as you can be kind of simple minded.
Looking you over quickly, the gruff reply "You sure want to do that?"
Rearing back you proudly display your double dose of penis and ready yourself to plunge. Just as quickly your opponent raises up penes exposed and flairing.
Lunging lustfully, you strike. Your penises glancing off your opponents slippery side, a quick thrust batters your front, thankfully not penetrating.
The battle continues, strike after strike, blow by blow ,you batter each other with your inflamed sex organs. Corps-a-corps, Croisé,Coup double , envelopment, the dance would be beautiful if the stakes werent so high.
" My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.", you shriek, (as i said your not to swift in the brains department)
Aargh! You scream, your opponent has used Changement de Rythme to break your concentration. A penis has broken your guard and punctures your side deeply.
Its over!, Your opponent lazily yawns, gives you a wink and a slap on the ass area, "See ya later, Babe."
Your skin pierced, genital pores quickly filled by two tailed sperms, your pregnant, your now a female and you never even got your release.
Unfulfilled and heavy with enemy sperm you skulk away.
Scary Sci-Fi Erotica?
No, The real life mating ritual of a flatworm - get this, couldnt make it any better - Pseudobiceros hancockanus. See the real battle here
"During penis fencing, each flatworm tries to pierce the skin of the other using one of its penises. The first to succeed becomes the de facto male, delivering its sperm into the other, the de facto female. For the flatworms, this contest is serious business. Mating is a fight because the worm that assumes the female role then must expend considerable energy caring for the developing eggs."
-/www.pbs.org/kcet/shapeoflife/episodes/hunt_explo2.html
Exercise Your Penis for increased size
Keeping in the spirit of this oddball article, I figured Id share this unique new finding:
If Your Biceps Get Stronger & Harder With Exercise, Why Can't Your Penis?
The answer: It can.
Check out the new discounted e-book by Richard R. Howard, II, Dr. P.H
- Newly discovered worm fences with penis
PhysOrg.com: Australian scientists are set to announce the discovery of a species of flatworm which is a member of group of predators known as oyster leeches.
Credit: PBS:The Shape of Life
What is the plural of Penis?
Well you better hurry up and buy a Corvette!
Because thats exactly what you think it is. Times two.
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Nature: What Females Want and Males Will Do
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Call of the Wild: Sex in the Animal Kingdom
Price: $14.99
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Cry of the Wild
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The Nature of Sex: A Time and a Place
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More Penis Fencing
With Proposition 8 a constant headline in the US, the Religious Right is quick to point out the supposed "unnaturalness" of sexual activity within animals of the same gender.
(Prop 8 for International Readers: Proposition 8 was a California State ballot proposition that amended the state Constitution to restrict the definition of marriage to a union between a man and a woman.-Wiki)
Keep in mind this action coming from a state that elected Conan the Freekin Barbarian as Governor!
Well apparently nobody checked with nature first.
So Without further adieu, More Penis fencing!
So only little hermaphroditic worms do this right?
Penis Fencing is an act engaged in by many of our closest cousins.
Including :
- Bonobos: Shares a 98% genetic match with humans - uses sex as a form of greeting and seems to make no distinction between gender or age.
- Among bonobos, frot frequently occurs when two males hang from a tree limb and engage in penis fencing ( de Waal, Frans B. M. (1995). "Bonobo Sex and Society".)
- Whales:(as pictured) Will continue to meet year after year
- Bottlenosed dolphins : Engage in Penis fencing bouts, can and will engage in blowhole sex and have a 12-14 inch prehensile penis (think monkey tail) which can they can pick items up with if they so desire.
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The range of sexual behaviours enjoyed by animals highlights that sex has value beyond procreation, says Amanda Gefter - Birds do it, bees do it . . . - Times Online
It is not what you would expect to see when you take your children on a Sunday outing to the natural history museum: a giant photograph of one male giraffe humping another, or two whales sparring with giant penises.
- primates.com : great apes : bonobo ( "Pygmy Chimpanzee" ) : Pan paniscus
photograph of a baby bonobo - Bonobo - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- Bonobo Sex and Society
Bonobo Sex and Society by Frans B. M. de Waal
This article will be continued in serial format, so join a fan, to be notified as it is updated. I will flesh out each animal that exhibits "penis fencing" and am currently working on an original painting of the beautiful flatworms. Also as a promotional technique, digg this article and Ill return the favor for your blogs. There is a limit of number of times a domain can be promoted by one user and I have exceeded mine -but I will digg/stumble your blog reciprocally.
Cartoon used with permission from NerdCore
- Nerdcore: The Core Wars
The nerdcore comic for hardcore nerds.
Partly inspired by:
- Sex life of Seahorses and serial killers
Sex life of Seahorses and serial killers I was inspired to write this hub based on comments that have flying around various hub and in particular ...
- Top 5 Worst Species in Which to Be a Guy: an absolutely scientific (or not) look at sex in the anima
As we all know, romance and sex are complicated things for all species. Elaborate rituals and intricate behavioral patterns complicate the path to reproduction for literally every species on earth. For many...
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Comments
The cartoon is used by permission ( emailed a request) from a online cartoon called Nerdcore, it is one of the top image search results for "penis fencing" Yeah, none of the activities are really my cup o' tea but thats probably why I find so much humor in it. Although in the worms case, they are hermaphroditic until the point of impregnation - so officially one is only female while pregnant and the other only male while impregnating! I have tons more stuff coming, I just wanted to experiment with a serial hub and see how that effects traffic patterns - I have had comments at some of my promotional resources but nothing more than "ha ha' or "interesting" Thanks for checking it out Oh, and im restricting the hub to include animals that exhibit "penis fencing" only, so although I found tons of references to same sex activities, I wont be including them specifically.
I also do not have the plug in installed to see that video, but i installed it in seconds ( i used a different computer for parts of the process, i will look for a video that will be more universally accessable)
very good hub
Sun, you're like the expert of penis fencing. I never knew and never imagined this happened. Chimpanzees and whales do this??? =O Very interesting! I liked the cartoon too. :)
LOL @ Whales. Imagine, it would be like hitting each other with pine trees.
i think forced penis weird sex killed the adsense
Hi Sun
Where do you find this stuff? (I liked the Princess Bride line BTW. One of my favourite films) I've seen monkeys at Howletts zoo cheekily greeting each other with more than a kiss on the cheek! Very uninhibited behaviour! I like the idea of battling it out to decide who's the boy and who's the girl too. Fun Hub. Well done !
Animal sex is so freaking weird, oh my lord. I knew about bonobos and dolphins/whales, but not the flatworm thing. Crazy!
Also, hilarious. :)
I agree about Prop. 8, too. It's always kind of amazed me that anyone with routine contact with animals could believe that homosexuality/bisexuality is "unnatural" in any way.
Okay, this has to be one of the most unusual Hubs I have seen!
Very informative, but strange.
I like it though.
But that kinda worries me....LOL
Great Hub sunforged. I might still do an add on to my seahorse thing but my thinking process is somewhat different.
I was just trying to imagine what it would be like if sex between men and women involved a battle to inseminate the other to determine who would carry the baby. Wow, that would be one knock-down, drag-out session for sure.
And we think there's a war between the sexes. It could be so much worse!
Great hub.
That's an interesting hobby you have, studying the "penis-fencing" creatures of the world. (I'm sure you could find comparable human behaviour - think San Francisco bath-houses late 1970's.) You might become the world's foremost authority on the subject.
Of course, in my part of the country "penis fencing" has a totally different meaning, relating to barbed wire and confining livestock - but that's another story.
Great hub!
Wow, that's a dark look on sexuality! I suppose husbands shouldn't penis fence their wives. They should lay on each other like bricks and get it over and done with, after all, that nasty little sperm might get stuck in their genital pores and produce a tapeworm or (sigh), a baby! Oh my!
Oh No, I dont want to be the expert on penis fencing !
Although, I did spend far more time than I ever imagined learning and researching, just wait until I write the Bonobo capsule, then I will seem really sick!
Between the "Assassinate Obama" and "penis fencing" hub, I expect big brother to show up any minute now
And right below this comment capsule is the "dolphin loving" link that I just could nt put in plain site, but couldnt bear shelving completely -tread softly
No you're fine Sunforged. It could be so much worse. At least you're not claiming that Mr Obama is the Anti-Christ!!
Amanda, maybe we should choose champions and have a penis-fencing contest to determine who is the Real Antichrist. Whoever loses is the Antichrist.
Or maybe whoever wins...
God, I'm so confused now.
Yea, but did Obama and McCain penis fence? (Actually, I think it was Obama and Palin who did that.)
True ads placed by google for this hub
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HA!
Without wishing to be racist here, because truly I am not, I can't help but feel that Mr O might have a native advantage in such a contest!
That's not racist, Amanda. Each set of peoples has their own advantages.
Phew! Thanks for that Writer Rider. I would hate to offend!
I think you may need an assistantant on this large (enormous?) project. She(He) should be able to take Dictation (sic)! HaHa LOL
I can say in all honesty that I have never heard of penis fencing. I'm pretty sure that if I were a guy, I'd really hate reading that excellent blow-by-blow that you opened with. Thanks for the education!
I almost turned away from this hub thinking it just more trash via sexual exploitation, was glad I did not. Great way you took your intro into the educational ending. Excellent!
I love the results adsenses is putting to this one.. =P
Very interesting article
yeah - the adsense ads are usually pretty funny! today its male to female hormones! and government grants
This is one unusual yet highly captivating hub. I had no idea what to expect when I glanced at the hub title LOL
Amazing hub, and the single most disturbing thing I have every read. Kudus
*hugs* just watch where your pointing that thing, I dont need kids :)
Sib
After reading this I'll never be the same...
Wow. I'm glad this article didn't go down how I thought it would.
Its awesome to see this kind of hub...people don't understand how much mother nature doesn't mind a lil bumpin' and grindin' with two animals that would rather go to the Big Gay Al Animal Sancturary!
This hub was cracking me up the whole way through with the comments included! Nice hub!
Thanks! the subject matter definitely attracted some wacky commentary!
Ha! This is great! Not what I expected, but it was so funny I couldn't stop laughing.
Nature is so cool! Unique way of enlightening the masses I must say. haha loved the picute of the two dorks too. my, my LOL
Fab hub, but is also scared the -expletive- out of me. eww, worms having penor wars and the pictures & videos are informative. Wow, this will change the way I look at lions, tigers and bears again! Very educational hub.
Just goes to show you that you never know what you're going to find in HubPages..LMAO!
Thumbs up!
Yes CC, once again, fact is stranger than fiction
Wonderful hub!
Began reading and thought "uhmm 'think I didnt understood this, will re-read" err, yes I understood it right the first time.. *laughs* Wonders of Mother Nature *nods*
The cartoon is very descriptive.
Thanks for sharing!
I began laughing riotously, then I became pensive. Awesome hub, Sunforged! I love the way you craftily maneuvered your readers.
This has to be one of the most unique hubs I have ever read in my life. What creativity!! Hats off to you.....
I decided to come and take a look at your hubs expecting many technological, web revenue, traffic marketing, etc... articles. hmmm,
now I've read about magnum size condoms and penis fencing, and the plural of penis. there's something to be said for the intellectual artists! bravo
I am man, but like to dress like a girl because it is more comfortable, Donna
Thanks for sharing (Don?)na , as you can see by this article, the world is filled with all sorts, enjoy yourself in whatever you do!
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Shadesbreath says:
14 months ago
FIRST! (hah, I got here before anyone else).
Great hub, very interesting. The use of 2nd person up top makes it a bit squirmy, lol, but a great read. What a trippy way to procreate those flatworms have evolved. Totally fascinating. I have to say, if I had to whip my weiner out and, well... do that stuff with some other guy, I'd have to take a pass. I'd become a monk or something. Yuk.
That video at the end was great. I knew there was a good deal of same-sex recreational behavior in the wild (I grew up on a cattle ranch, saw a lot of the mounting behaviors... and who doesn't see dogs do that all the time?), but I didn't realize there was all the pair-bonding and parenting and stuff. That's really interesting stuff. I'm glad you shared man.
Where'd you get that cartoon at the top? That come from that website with the rest of the worm stuff, or you draw that? (I couldn't get the video to load for that page, :(