Man has coveted the beaver ever since Adam met Eve in the Garden of Eden. Through the ages an eager beaver has been a source of pleasure, recreation, and amusement, a source of warmth on cold nights, and a food source to really sink your teeth into - figuratively speaking of course. But today the beaver is disappearing at an alarming rate and at risk of becoming the dinosaur of this millennium.

Please understand that the beaver in question is NOT the furry damn-builder pictured above.

Nor does the beaver in question have anything to do with the television show "Leave It to Beaver," which ran from October 4, 1957 to June 20, 1963. The show was extremely popular, and starred Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow, and Jerry Mathers as the "Beaver."

I'm definitely talking about a different kind of beaver, although there is a spoof of Ward Cleaver sitting at the breakfast table while his wife June pours him a cup of coffee that ties the two beavers together. Whether it's folklore or whether, in fact, it actually happened in an episode, Ward supposedly said to June, "I hope I wasn't too hard on the Beaver last night."

The Beaver Brown Band is not the beaver in question either.

The Beaver Brown Band - both with and without Cafferty - was a popular rock band during the 1970s and 80s. Their biggest claim to fame came when they performed the music of a fictional band in the movie Eddie and the Cruisers. The movie took place in New jersey and the music was similar to that played by Bruce Sprintsteen. The soundtrack album reached the top 10 on Billboard's top 200 chart. The signature song, "On the Dark Side," reached #7 on Billboard's Hot 100 lists, and reached #1 on the Mainstream Rock Tracks chart - and maintained the top position for five weeks.

In 984, the Beaver Brown Band recorded "Hearts on Fire" for Sylvester Stallone's Rocky IV.

In 1985, the Beaver Brown Band recorded "Voice of America's Sons" on the album "Tough All Over." That song became the theme song on the soundtrack for Sylvester Stallone's movie - Cobra. Another song in that album - "C.I.T.Y." - reached #1 on the Mainstream Rock Tracks chart.

The Beaver Brown Band still tours fro time to time, but without John Cafferty.

The mention of Rocky IV, Eddie and the Cruisers, and Cobra earns those three movies nominations for My 100 Favorite Movies list.

And I'm not talking about Beaver College either, although the school once boasted an all-female enrollment - which sort of ties the two beavers together. But Beaver College is no more, basically because it wanted no association with the beaver in question.

Beaver College, founded way back in 1853, was a venerable institution for more than a century and a half. But eight years ago the school changed its name to Arcadia University.

I. for one, would curl up with a beaver any time, and place. But would I curl up with an Arcadia?

Not possible. Arcadia is a province in Greece. Its capital is Tripoli, you know, the Tripoli in the Marine Corps Hymn: "from the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli."

See my point about Beaver College? Here one day, extinct the next.

Above is, of course, the beaver in question. But thanks to the girls who grace the centerfolds of men's magazines and the proliferation of pornographic videos, the beaver, as we once knew it, seems to be headed the way of the dinosaur.

Why?

Because many of the magazine models and porn "stars" shave the pubis bald. The younger generation sees this, doesn't know any better, and plays monkey see, monkey do. And the result is that a great many women between the ages of 14 and 25 are walking around looking like Yul Brenner all down under.

Let me go on the record right here.

I don't like you Yul Brenner's out there. To me, having sex with a scalped woman is like having sex with a baby, and I don't want to have sex with babies, I want to have sex with women. Nor do I like having sex with hairy apes, so you au naturales need not apply here. If you want to make it with me, just give that baby a little trim ... do some pruning ... just a little gardening.

Please don't confuse Rosie O'Donnell with a beautiful girl, because she's far from it. Not only that, but she can't act, can't sing, can't dance, and she's not funny. To me, she's a no-talent loud mouth, and that's about it. Somebody please tell me how she made it in show biz.

I'm talking about the 1996 Ted Demme movie "Beautiful Girls." It makes my Top 100 Movies list. Its star-studded cast includes Matt Dillon, Noah Emmerich, Annabeth Gish, Lauren Holly, Timothy Hutton, Max Perlich, Martha Plimpton, Natalie Portman, Michael Rapaport, Mira Sorvino, and Uma Thurman.

Now, getting back to Rosie O'Donnell. She plays a part in "Beautiful Girls" and, in one scene, pretty much sums up my feelings about the appearance of a woman's pubic area.

She's in a local convenience store with Matt Dillon and Max Perlich when she says -

"I'm finished speaking to both of you, okay? You're both fucking insane. You want to know what your problem is? ... MTV, Playboy, and Madison fucking Avenue ... Yes, let me explain something to you, okay? Girls with big tits have big asses, girls with little tits have little asses. That's the way it goes. God doesn't fuck around, he's a fair guy. He gave the fatties big beautiful tits and the skinnies little tiny nibblers. It's not my rule, If you don't like it call him."

She calls out to thank the store owner, then takes a copy of a porn magazine off the shelf and opens it to the centerfold.

"Oh guys," she continues, "look what we have here. Look at this, your favorite."

Matt Dillon examines the centerfold ... smiles.

"Oh," she says, "you like that?"

"I could go along with that," Matt Dillon replies.

"Yeah," Rosie continues, "yeah, that's nice, right? Well it doesn't exist, okay? Look at the hair. The hair is long, it's flowing. It's like a river ... Well, it's a fucking weave, okay? And the tits. Please! I could hang my overcoat over them. Tits, by design, were invented to be suckled by babies. Yes, they're purely functional. These are silcone city ... and look ... my favorite .... the shaved pubis, pubic hair being too unruly and all. Very key. This is a mockery, this is a sham, this is bullshit - implants, collagen, capped teeth, the fat sucked out, the hair extended, the nose fixed, the bush shaved ... These are not real women, all right? They're beauty freaks and they make all us normal women, with our wrinkles, our puckered boobs, and our cellulite feel somehow inadequate ... Well, I don't buy it ..."

And neither do I, Rosie. My God, I never thought I'd agree with her about anything. But that's exactly the way I feel. I like real, not fake. I think that a disclaimer should be flashed any time a breast-augmented woman on TV and in the movies appears on the screen - WARNING ... THESE TITS ARE FAKE.

Because of the growing popularity in the younger generation in regard to pubic shaving, our grandchildren are going to lose contact with terms like beaver, hair pie, bearded clam, and fur burger.

Please don't let that happen. Let's stamp out shaving in my lifetime.

But that's just me, that's how I feel. Below, you have an opportunity to tell me where you stand. You don't need to register to vote. Just cast your ballot below, and let the fur fly where it may.