In contemporary America, death is expensive. When all things are considered - ie, embalming, a hearse, funeral ceremony, and cemetary burial - we pay upwards of $10,000, sometimes more. Funeral directors may provide an invaluable service, but they are essentially running a business. As such, they benefit not only from our desire to provide the best for our loved ones, but our generous spending in doing so.

Though many of us cannot imagine handling death any other way, there was a time when Americans had no need for such intervention.

It was not until the generations proceding the mid-nineteenth century that embalming became normalized. The bodies of deceased soldiers during the Civil War required preservation when shipped back home, hence the necessity for the practice. With the embalming came the increased presence of morticians. Prior to that, it was the family who cared for the deceased; everything from housing the body to the burial in a private family-owned plot. Even in death, we stood by our loved ones every step of the way.

But now, one of humankind's most significant rites of passage has become impersonal. As a society, we tend to pay away our grief by having trusted, but impartial, intermediaries handle our loss. This is all well and good for those seeking a dignified and traditional American funeral, but what about those seeking a more cost-effective and involved form of grieving?

What many do not realize is that a family caring for its own deceased person continues to be, in many parts of the country, a lawful practice.

There are exceptions to this rule. New York, Connecticut, Nebraska, Indiana, and Louisiana all have limitations that do not allow family members to care for their dead independent of a funeral director.

But elsewhere, state law protects the rights of families seeking this alternative method. My home state of Massachusetts, for example, permits mourning families to carry out home-based after-death care without the interference of licensed undertakers.

A little over a decade ago, executive director of the Funeral Ethics Organization Lisa Carlson, wrote a book which clarified the state laws regarding final arrangements. For many who were confused or simply ill-informed, it clarified their rights in a straightforward and simple way. Readers were shocked to find that, in most parts of the country, they had choices they knew nothing about.

Carlson's consumer guide, entitled Caring for the Dead, included a brief but thorough update of the laws in each individual state, including the specific passages that grant citizens their legal authorities. Also specified in these chapters is information pertaining to state death certificates, fetal death, transportation and disposition permits, burials, cremation, state governance, prepaid cemetary and funeral funds, several death institution listings (such as medical schools for body donations and crematories), and any other notable miscellaneous information.

In Massachusetts' General Law, Carlson cites Chapter 46 Section 9. Death Certificates, in which it reads:

"A physician... shall immediately furnish for registration a standard certificate of death... to an undertaker or other authorized person or a member of the family of the deceased..."

Beyond this, there are no statutes that might require someone to use a funeral director in the state.

Death certificates are supplied and signed by a medical examiner or family doctor and state the cause of death. The certificate must then be filed with the Board of Health - in the town of the death - within the next 5 days in order to possess a burial permit (this permit covers transportation and disposition). All burial grounds, including those that are privately owned, are regulated through the Board of Health. Though there are no specifications in regard to depth of burial, it is considered "sensible" to place at least two feet of earth on top and to maintain a minimum distance of 150 feet from the nearest water supply. Once the burial is arranged, the permit holder must sign a coupon on their permit and return it to the registrar that had issued it initially.

In the time before a burial, family members may choose to house their deceased for about 1-4 days. The ability to preserve this body depends on proper heating, but generally very few signs of decomposition are visible within that timeframe. It is said that the presence of the corpse provides a patient and private atmosphere for mourners to accept their loss, without the stifling time constraints and propriety of a professional funeral service.

It is important to note that many officials who are regularly involved with death are in fact unaware or misinformed about certain state rights of unlicensed family members in dealing with deceased family. If a loved one dies suddenly in a hospital, for example, some institutions may not be willing to give the body up to the family. If a loved one is suffering an ongoing illness, it is wise to inform hospital officials ahead of time about the nature of that person's arrangements. Bafflingly, there are even a considerable number of funeral directors who are unaware of their clients' rights.

My reason for writing this is to inform those who may believe that their state government denies them the freedom to say good-bye to a person they love on their own terms. As I have explained, that is not usually the case.

I am also not trying to denounce the funeral home industry. Some may opt for an undertaker and I wholeheartedly support the decision to do so, if that decision is an informed one.

But the testimonials of those who have selected the alternative are overwhelmingly positive, suggesting that many of us are missing out on an uncommonly profound experience. Aside from protecting families' freedoms that are literally handed over in opting for a commercial funeral, it is much more affordable.

As I said before, it is not uncommon to spend up to $10,000 and beyond. The commercial arrangements of a relative of mine who passed away in 2004 priced about $7,000, excluding the burial (which can easily account for another $1,000). If you're economical in paying for all the same services, it is possible to spend closer to the $6,000 mark.

Should you choose possession of the body, however, you have a few inexpensive options. One is to opt for cremation, which would require the crematory fee of $350, an additional $75 that is sent in directly to the state upon receiving the remains, and about $100 to make a plywood box to encase the body. Pre-made boxes may also be purchased by a cooperating funeral director or crematory for roughly the same price. From there, it is up to you what happens to the ashes. No more spending is necessary.

If you should choose to bury the body the expenses are far higher, but still nothing compared to the overall price of the commercial counterpart. Reasonably, you could spend little more than a $1,000 for everything. Better yet, you play an active role in the fate of your loved one's body.

For those who find this appealing, or simply want to learn more about available options in their location, check out www.funeral.org, which - at least for MA state law - was an invaluable source of information.

For those interested in a more intimate perspective, PBS aired a 2003 documentary titled POV: A Family Undertaking, which offered a rare and heartwrenching glimpse into these alternative practices. Here is a brief trailer, courtesy of video.google.com:

The complete 60 minute film is available to Watch Instantly on Netflix.com.

Additional information about funeral laws in your state can be found in Lisa Carlson's Caring for the Dead, available on the Amazon.com website.