The first thing that needs to be addressed is the "moral" issue. Most people do not know the difference between morals and ethics, and while they are inter-related, they are not the same thing.

Morals are between you and whatever "God" or higher power you believe in. (Not everyone is Christian). Ethics are the way you interact on a social level. That said, it is also important to realize that Churches do not issue marriage licenses, nor are they able through their rites to make a legally binding contract between two people regardless of their gender.

There are plenty of churches out there that are willing ready and able to perform the rites of their specific denomination between same sex couples and do so on a fairly regular basis. These unions are not recognized by the government which means that same sex couples do not enjoy the same rights and privileges afforded to oppose sex unions. (ie: income tax breaks, insurance, property ownership, right of survivor-ship) without extraordinary means of legal paperwork. (and even when all the paperwork is done with all the i's dotted and all the t's crossed the blood relations can still come in and challenge and often win in court to take away everything the couple had aquired and made together.)

I have known couples who had been together 20 or more years and when one passed away, family who had not spoken to the departed for years and years suddenly appears and takes everything away leaving the already grieving spouse no home, no property and in some cases not even mementos of their years together. This comes under my heading of extremely unethical.

It in no way demeans the institution of marriage or family values for the law to be equally applied to same sex couples. I cite as ongoing proof of this statement the fact that in the Netherlands there is no mention of gender in their marriage laws and they have very solid family values, very stable relationships and their society is still intact and flourishing.

It is rumored that France is also in the process of revising their marriage laws to remove mention of gender, as well as other countries who see the wisdom of equality under the law for all their citizens. Many states in the US have also been progressive in their attempts to grant equal rights to same sex couples, although the federal government still seems determined to deny equal treatment under the law to same sex couples. Many insurance companies also are trying to change their policies to reflect the needs of same sex couples.

My personal experience in these matters has been extensive. I have buried a son and two lovers. One of the battles I won, one I lost as far as legal rights went. The one I won was when the state of Nevada did not want to release the body of my dead spouse to me even though there was a bought and paid for burial plot in our family plot for her. They would have laid her to rest in a pauper's grave at state expense had I not fought tooth and nail at a time when I should have been able to grieve rather than fight. The most probable reason I won that particular fight has more to do with a lack of blood relations who were even findable than with the 10 years we had paid lawyers to insure that a surviving spouse would have legal rights for the other.

The one I lost, I had no say in anything to do with the burial, the funeral, and have no keepsake other than my memories. There is no place to visit, no grave, no stone as her ashes are on a mantle piece in a home I am not likely to be welcome at.

So when I speak for "gay marriage" I actually am speaking for equal application of the laws of the land. I am not a Christian, I am a Taoist. It is the state that issues marriage licenses, not the church. It is the state that makes the laws that govern rights of survivorship, taxation, etc. I speak for equality under the law for all citizens no matter who they choose to mate with.

Many people speak against gay marriage over religious grounds. They fail to recognize that marriage is a matter of law, not religion. As far as the "un-natural" claims against gays, I can only say that homosexuality exists in just about every species on the planet including among wolves who mate for life, (which seems far more moral than most humans who marry and divorce more today than ever before) and since it occurs throughout nature, it stands to reason that in fact it is natural, it is just not a majority.

So before you cast your vote against gay marriage (should you be in a position to vote on the issue) you might want to remember that most of "us" have been fighting for equal rights not just on this issue, but on most issues of inequality. We have been standing up for your rights for years. Isn't it about time you returned the support? No one is asking you to embrace our choice as an option for you, we are only asking what every persecuted group before us has asked for.. equal rights under the law.