The Cat has me Trapped!!
65
The Way My Mind Works
The cat is laying on my feet. I don’t know why he’s chosen this particular spot for his 3rd nap of the day, but he has, and I don’t have the heart to wake him.
Not that he has the same respect for me. Wasn’t it just last night right in the middle of a wonderful dream that he jumped up on the bed looking for a warm place to sleep, under-estimating his landing, grabbing with his claws into my calf to keep from falling 3 feet to the floor? He didn’t mind waking me! He merely gave me the ’You Drama Queen!’ look at my screams of anguish and curled up on my pillow.
I wonder how long I will be stuck here. I’m currently grading papers, but this will soon lose it’s entertainment value.
And what if I get thirsty? It’s not like I have one of those dogs that fetches beer from the fridge and opens it on the way back in, like on the commercials. I wouldn’t drink it even if he brought it to me, though. The beer mood doesn’t hit very often, and certainly not this early in the morning. Maybe I could teach Plato to work the faucet. He’s definitely of the right height. I wonder how long that would take? Nah. I’d have to get up anyway to bleach the sink of his slobber, at which time I could fill my own glass. I don’t know that I’d trust him with the glasswear anyway.
And I wonder if I should replace the glasses that I broke when hubby snuck up behind me while I was unloading the dishwasher. Seems plastic may be the way to go these days. It’s too bad I can’t get those aluminum ones like Grandma used to have. I’m still upset at the cousin that hid them from us when she died. I wonder why I’m not more upset about him breaking my car window and stealing my stereo than this, but those glasses had memories attached to them. None that he shared in, either. I wonder how much he got for my Alanis Morriset CD. And why is that the only one I remember having in there?
Man am I sorry I bought that Spongebob Squarepants CD last week! That’s all the kids want to listen to, and I’m beginning to hear “Aye, Aye Captain!” coming from the washing machine.
Hmmm….I don’t hear the water running. I wonder if the jeans are done. If I move them to the dryer now, I’ll be able to fit two more loads in before work this afternoon.
Work. Is it spring break yet? This is the first year I’ve really longed for it. And why is that? I’ve enjoyed work so much more this year, why am I longing for a week-long break?
I heard there’s a Titanic museum in Branson now. I should try to take the kids during the break. The oldest one LOVES the story of Titanic. Didn’t she just read an AR book about it? We could probably afford a close trip like that. I can’t quite reach my purse to look at the checkbook. I’ve got to remember to do that later.
OH!! I was going to order more checks today! Have to put that on the list, too. I should choose a different background this time. The last two orders have been the same. `I wonder if they have Dallas Cowboys checks? THAT would be cool.
Tickets. We’ve got to get to at least one game this year so hubby can see his brick in the ‘Walk of Fame’. He loved that gift! And this was the first year he wasn’t able to figure out what was in the box before he opened it!
WHY doesn’t anybody in this house appreciate a true surprise? The anticipation of seeing all the presents under the tree. The wonder of what is inside. The thought that they’re there, but just out of reach. That’s the fun part of receiving presents. But no one around here agrees with me. They can’t handle suspense.
That’s kind of ironic. I can’t stand suspense in a movie. Sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens next--I have no fingernails left after a movie like that. I like the romantic comedies where the good guy wins the girl and they always live happily ever after. Except Message in A Bottle. I never see that one coming. And I’ve seen it a thousand times!! And The Notebook. Why did she give up? Why did she marry the pompous guy instead of searching out her one true love?!?! Why do I yell at her through the TV not to do it? It’s not like it’s going to change anything. It’s been forever since I’ve seen October Sky. Now that is a movie. I hope my kids have that much determination. The strength Homer has to rise above the disappointment he thinks his father has in him.
I wonder if Dad got the attachment on the tractor put together? That thing looked scary! I hope the little one’s curiosity doesn’t get him hurt on that thing! More ER visits. That’s what we need.
I wonder if we ever got the ER bill from Hilton Head? Now THAT was a fun vacation. I hope we will get to go back again sometime. We never did get to see any dolphins! But the miles and miles of bike riding. Why isn’t riding my bike that much fun here?
I wonder how I’d look up those scooter-bike things I saw on tv? I’d like to have one of those. It’d be better exercise than the 4-wheeler.
What are we going to do about the tires on the little one’s 4-wheeler? And why does he like to chase the cat with it?
The CAT!! He moved! Is he awake? Yes! A stretch,. AAAAAAANND…..I’m free!!!!
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Comments
So funny!!!
I don't know about the patience part, Amy. The effort would have been in waking the cat and actually DOING the laundry instead of thinking about it!
Plato and Tink' are great friends. This is why Tink went to such effort to claw into my leg. He didn't want to wake PLATO!!! See where I rate around this zoo?
Dork--not as funny as most of yours, but it is, indeed how my mind works......
I really liked this. It's like when you're with someone involved in something, then you bring something up that has absolutely nothing to do with the activity at hand and they ask you "What made you think of that?" My explanation always sounds like this hub.
Hi PM, you are very patient! I wonder if I would have it in me to wait for His Royal Highness to move!! Laugh! Then again, the stuff that crossed your mind in the meantime may be worth it! Fun hub!!! :-)
OH, and the photo on top is DELICIOUS!
Wow I love the way your mind works, maybe because I can see some similarities in my own mind. I love the Sponge Bob SquarePants regrets because I have a similar one everytime I hear that song too!! Very funny!!
Just so you know, I followed you every step of the way. I saw every connection and it made so much sence. My husband thinks I'm wacky, but see, I'm not. And yeah, it's definitely not patience so much as I'd rather think about it than do it so I may as well enjoy the trap. Great hub. Can I link it to sunrise?
schwag--You too? It's one of the things my friends have come to tolerate from me!! :-))
Elena--I tried to find a picture of a cat on some feet, but I was unsuccessful. But I'm afraid if I called him Her Highness, he'd do something worse than claw my calf. There's a very funny story about his name being Tinkerbell. Perhaps one day I'll write a hub about it.....
Triplet mom--I probably should go get it out of the truck's CD player then. I'd hate for your little girl to get that one in her car-jacking!! LOL!!!
Frieda-- You understood all of that? Kindred spirits we are, then. I don't stay on subject very long and it drives most people crazy. They're still talking about one subject and in my head, I'm already on to my third!!! and yes, you can link it. i don't know what sunrise is, but if you're there, it's got to be good!
It's great to see on paper how we women actually process our thought patterns - my husband often tells me I have a busy brain, but I see we are all much the same - beautifully written PM ....cheers
ps maybe you should submit this to a Women's Study Bank....
Great hub PM. Those dang songs, you know you'll never get rid of it either. It will play over and over in your head for eternity. At least that is my own experience. I bought my kids a sesame street tape when they were young and it had a song called the grouches lullaby on it. I still hear that song in my head. The bad part is that I only remember a couple of lines and I drive myself crazy trying to remember the rest of it. Of course the tape is long gone and I'm sure I could never find another one. I guess i'll have to live with the few lines I remember.
Women's study bank, ajcor??!??? If anyone ever studied me, they'd lock me up! :-))
What's funny, ladycat, is that I'm really more of a dog person than a cat person. But my dog is so big, if he layed on my feet, he'd smash all the tiny bones!!!
Hey gwendymom! I've missed seeing you around! I'm glad you stopped by.
Oh, the dreaded song in the head! Build a Bear gave my daughter a birthday CD one year that had this "You're the birthday bear, you're the birthday bear" musical chant. It ended up on the wrong end of a scuffle with the vacuum cleaner.
Great!! Now I'm singing THAT one! :-)
I know, you just dint want your feet to get cold again and the purring of the disgusting cat was like a vibrator that tingled all th...well, anyway I love it. A look inside that brain of yours that tickles my feet to my funny bones. Thanks PM hahaha good hub dear. 3 more til it happens? just checked 2 more. yeah!
It's 80 degrees here today, so no worries on my feet being cold. But that was a very good guess, CC!! I'm so glad to see you. You've been working very hard and I've missed you. Hubby came home from work this evening and asked if I got all that stuff done. You men should learn never to ask a woman how much they got done all day. It doesn't typically go over very well...... :-)
I may be getting myself in trouble here again, but I have to ask.....2 more until what happens?
for me "it isn't easy being green" courtesy of Kermie!
Pm. your forgetful too huh? you hubs will get all lined up nice in categories like you wanted. so get with it girl. it happens at number 15, I believe.
@ ajcor: Oh!! I can play that one on the piano!! You sing, I'll play and we'll find someone to play the drums!!
Was that ever really a question, CC? :-)) Forgetful is my middle name!
I have one more that I published the other night, but I pulled it right away because I was a little afraid of the comments I might get.
Well, just deny them before any one can see them if they bother you. Why waste it.
Proud Mom, LOL! You really write a good story!!!...and that is one lucky cat :)
You might need to tell him that, k@ri. He's still holding a grudge about his name!
I will probably get my nerve back up, CC. But meanwhile, I'm trying to calm the hysterics from Schwag's hubs....
My wife's cat looks like yours. She used to claw my naked armpits to awaken me at 4 am to let her out or feed her. One night she went to far and i slammed her against the wall. it was purely reflex. She don't come to me at night anymore. Only to Wee One.
I don't know if it's my mood, or what, but you guys are killing me here!! I HURT from laughing. The kids were discussing calling 911 earlier because they thought I couldn't breathe!! I have all these mental pictures floating around in this noggin, and they won't stop! The cat flying across the room! What did Wee One do?!?!!!
Oh, and that one is not my cat. Mine's this equally as innocent looking black and white thing. He blends right in with Plato.....
LMAO PM! Cats are masters at entrapment for sure. :D You handled captivity very well! This was a fun read, and I'll look forward to another one when you find yourself being napped on. :)
This reminded me of the Mel Gibson movie "What Women Want". I loved it when he could 'hear' what women were thinking and how most women were rambling much like you were PM....LOL Then he turns to the two secretaries in the office and nada....not a word.....blank as can be. Hilarious!
Now my cat is really laughing....the old saying...dogs have masters, cats have staff, is certainly true..!!!
Funny, funny Hub...Thank you...Larry
I'm not sure what I would have done, Pam if my daughter would have called from the bathroom, "Mom!!! Can you bring me some toilet paper?"
"Not now, sweetie. The cat's asleep!"
Yes, KCC. Hillarious, indeed! But I wasn't wearing pantyhose, a push-up bra and ruby red lipstick while blow drying my hair in the bathtub. I'm WAY smarter than THAT!! :-))
Maven, I think your cat laughs as much as I do!! Thanks so much for stopping by!
Mark Twain would have loved this. (And I can't think of a higher compliment than that!). I loved it -- brains always like to lead us a merry dance. Could you imagine how boring it would be if you thought things in the right order?
I need a tissue after that compliment, Teresa! I always knew you were one of my favorites!
Boring is one word that I've never heard to describe me. I could list a few, but they might pull my hub next.....:-)
Oh! Now my face is red! :-)
HaHa! sorry
It's okay, CC. All in good fun, huh? :-)
If you want to see me nude go to Constant Walkers naked hub. LOL
Constant Walker has a naked hub??? Why doesn't he put some clothes on it?
wonderful hub!The cynic in me reckons, however, that you were glad of hte excuse not to have to sort the washing out.....
You speak the truth, LondonGirl!!
I had to sneak in for a second and see what dangerous situation you have gotten yourself into with the feline but I was very quickly relieved of my fears as I succumbed to the humour. My dogs think they are part cat and like to jump up on the bed with me and snuggle, but I am not a snuggles kind of guy, and I give them the boot everytime, go to mama, not to papa. I wouldn't consider getting any cowboy checks, people might wonder if they are for real or not, just like the team. j/k.
Loved it, loved it, loved it. Are you sure you weren't reading my mind when you wrote this? I think like that all the time. LOL Your a very good writer. I think Tupperware might sell those glasses, or I might have seen them in a catalog, let's see, which one, oh mayber Miles Kimball or Harriet Carter. Darn! Now I have to go look through them again. LOL
GT--What's wrong? You have no faith in me? Why would you assume I had gotten myself into a dangerous situation? :-)
I will probaby offend some, but I believe animals belong on the floor. But that's just me!
As for the Cowboys--I know. But I'm a die hard fan. With them through the ups and downs. Besides, if I wasn't a fan, I'd probably be homeless.....
hey Netters!! My mind wanders. That's the only way to explain it.
Those cups were aluminum and gave your drink the worst metallic taste, but we still fought (I mean rolling on the floor pulling hair fighting) for the purple one. I have no idea why! If you come across them, please let me know. I 'd love to have a set, if not just to have in the top of my cabinet. Didn't KCC publish a hub about things you want but don't need????
Did I? I don't think so.....but it's a good idea! LOL
I remember the aluminum glasses. My grandmother had them. Someone was making them a few years ago. I'll go look them up. I bet you can find them on eBay.
You ought to give that cat a treat - it trapped you so that you could write a list of things that you might have forgotten to do on time ! BTW - in The Notebook - she did go back to her one true love Noah - didn't he ???
"Didn't KCC publish a hub about things you want but don't need????"
I did (-:
PM, shopgoodwill.com has things like your metal glasses sometimes and many other treasures you won't find in the store
My sincerest apologies to KCC and LondonGirl. I read so much great stuff around here, sometimes I get them mixed up. Yes, it was LondonGirl and here's her hub. But my cups didn't make the list. :-(
http://hubpages.com/hub/Top-ten-must-have-kitsch-i
lphigenia--Yes, thank goodness she finally ended up with Noah, but so much heartbreak in between! If she would have just taken my advice, they'd have saved themselves alot of grief. But then, we wouldn't have been able to watch such a great movie, either.
Thank you KCC, and CC. I really have no use for them--they make your drink taste funny and sometimes hurt your teeth, but I would love to have a set!!! I had no idea they were still available. Maybe I should be a little more forgiving toward my cousin. But then there's the stereo thing...... :-)
I don't think your cups are quite vulgar enough, sorry!
True, LG.
LOL I like this hub Proud Mom--I have two exotic shorthairs myself and they are a pain to wake up, I always feel so bad... for a minute :P
Anyways, I make a new hub that I think you would especially like since you have children. I know I will get a comical response out of you :)
Take care!
Another good hub?? I can't wait!
I guess I don't know exactly what an exotic shorthair cat is. Mine is a barncat we got from a friend. Can you call a cat a "mutt"? I guess I don't really know the right terminology. Oh well. You get the idea.... :-)))
My dog does the same thing sometimes. He picks just the wrong place to lay down and I sometimes don't have the heart to disturb him. He does that when I am sewing. As I cut threads I throw them on the floor and next thing you know the poor dog is covered with thread! At least your cat doesn't weigh 80 pounds! (I hope.)
Hi Jennifer! Your story is funny! I can just picture this 80 pound dog covered in little pieces of thread! Thank goodness my cat is only a few pounds!
I'm going to have to look for your store online. Those dresses look adorable!!
I told one of my co-workers about how my dog gets covered with thread and screamed laughing!
I forgot to say thanks for the compliment. Please tell others about me. I am ready to make this a fulltime venture! Thank you!
This is funny!! Made me laugh my heart out. Cats seem to have a way of making us stay where we are and make it seem we have no choice. XD
jennifer, your dresses most definitely speak for themselves! But I'd be happy to refer anyone to help your business. The black and white polka dotted one was my favorite!
jadedsecret--I'm glad you were as entertained as I! I really think it was more about me not really wanting to get up and do the laundry and the dishes, but it made me feel better to blame it on the cat!! Thank you for stopping by!
Awww, that cat looks just like my baby too! I mean, my cat, not a real baby. You get my drift?
Anyways, when cats love to lay on my bed, and I just hate to bother them when they are already making themselves comfortable around you.
Hi Mayhmong. That's not really a picture of my cat. But he is handsome, isn't he?
I enjoyed the excuse to not get up and do what needed to be done, that's for sure!!!
How did I miss one????? This is great!
'tis isn't it JG
she's hiding out I fink
I don't know, Jama. But I'm certainly glad you found it!
Hiding out, CC?? I'm out with friends tonight. But I will always make time for you guys.....We're about to head home. Maybe I'll catch up with you in a few.
Home? Where the hell are ya?
In the truck headed home!!!!!
C. C., she wiggled her nose and beamed those comments in from the truck. What an amazing lass!
Yes, Jama. You'd be amazed if you knew the full extent of my powers!! :-))
Since I am owned by 2 cats I laughed all the way through this...LOVED IT and the picture
Owned by two cats, huh? Sounds like an interesting life. Do yours keep you trapped alot? It was a nice break from the normal chaos. Maybe I should do it more often!
Thanks for stopping by, Sandman. It was very nice to meet you.
Amy G says:
10 months ago
Oh, you have more patience than me! And all of that mental effort was born from a cat on your feet! See what happens? You get a cat, and suddenly you have more on your list! Teach Plato to snatch him up and remove him on command. That'll work.
And I've seen those metal glasses somewhere. You can get some more; I know they won't have the same sentimental value, but.... I'll try to find where.
Thanks for the read!