The Christmas Holidays!

Not quite sure what to expect, huh? Well, fear not, because even though I don't have any idea either, I will try not to let you down. (Unless you are expecting miracles or something.) So let's get this started!

Let me begin by saying that I believe Christmas is a wonderful holiday. Not so much the glitz and non stop sales advertisements that begin even before Thanksgiving, but the very spirit of the holiday season. You know. The warm feelings that begin to surround an individual during this particular holiday. Feelings of warmth and care for our fellow man. Feelings which drive individuals to reach out to less fortunate individuals than themselves. The spirit of love, the spirit of giving, the spirit of compassion. The defining spirits of the holiday wrapped around the faith in the individual for whom the holiday is associated with. (and I am not talking about Santa.)

 

The holiday season, for some, is just not so great. In fact, for many, the holidays can be depressing. Guess that isn't a real eye opening statement. After all, I think everyone knows at least one person that is somewhat of a Scrooge. Not exactly something you can hold against an individual though. After all, unless you know why an individual may not care to partake in the holiday festivities, it may be difficult to accept.

My childhood memories, as I have stated in previous Hubs, are very fuzzy. Events or times that are clear to me are times which were significant. Unfortunately, the one single Christmas which I do remember was such an event. An event occurred which still comes to me every Christmas.

I was six. Christmas was still a few days away. Three days to be exact. Best of all, the most important person in my life was home after being overseas with relatives for the prior three months. I called her Nanny. She was my mother's mother.

I have had people say,

Oh! You mean your grandmother!

Yes, I suppose I do. But, actually I had never looked at it that way. (Strange as it may seem.) She was not just my grandmother. She was everything to me. She was closer to me than my mother was. She was my Nanny. That was my name for her, and she was the one who raised me, more or less. She was the one with the patience, and the ability to talk to me, to calm me, to nurture me. My mother, my adoptive mother I should add, found that a boy was not the thing she was missing from her life, and I just sort of cramped her style. Her mother welcomed the opportunity and cared for me. Not as a grandmother, but as a mother.

That Christmas is burned into my memory, because on that day, three days before Christmas, an hour or two after I went to bed, Nanny had a massive Cerebral Hemorrhage. As they wheeled her out of the house, past me as I stood in the doorway of my room, I saw her. Her face gray around the plastic mask over her nose and mouth. And a noise I still hear in my mind that came from her as she breathed. A rattle, part a moan. Later in my years I was told the sound had a name. The death rattle.

For Christmas, I received the gift she had gotten for me. A stuffed toy. A Dalmatian. Not just a Dalmatian, but my very favorite character from the movie she had taken me to see just a few days before. Disney had released the movie <101 Dalmatians> that year, and she had surprised me by taking me to see it. My favorite character had been the pup named Patches. A Dalmatian puppy with a black spot covering one eye. (Ironic that even my favorite characters have defects!)

The toy stayed with me for an embarrassingly long time. The plushness of the toy had long been rubbed off, and it was threadbare, and remained in my possession well into my twenties. Regrettably it was destroyed in a fire. Though I soon realized it was not the object that was important, but the memories that were associated with it.

I eventually came to terms with that loss, but still the thoughts come to mind every year. They probably always will. For a long time, Christmas was one of my least favorite times of the year. I equated the season with thoughts of one who no longer was with me.

I realized eventually that I need not allow depression to cloud my mind every year during the holidays if I instead dwelled on the love I felt from her all the time, and not of the loss of it. Anyway, the bottom line is, for those reasons, Christmas was a tough time for me.

This is just one example of reasons there are those who just aren't all warm and fuzzy for Christmas.

The holidays are different for everyone. For the most part, we all have pictures in our minds of the perfect holiday. A time for family, friends and loved ones. A holiday, who's very nature invokes thoughts of closeness to others is fine unless you are in a position of being alone.

What is important is to realize that being alone need not mean being lonely. In fact, if being alone is the catalyst for being a bit blue, then try something that makes you, well,... not alone!

Here are a few ideas on how not to be alone.

• Volunteer your time.

This time of year, there are many communities with kitchens set up for those who otherwise may not have a meal at all, let alone Christmas Dinner. Why not seek them out and spend the holiday with those who appreciate the kindness and compassion of others. Let me tell you first hand that there is no better feeling than giving of your time to those who need it most.

Many churches and organizations gather food together, (And toys) and then pack up the fixings for a holiday meal for families which have fallen on hard times. They always need individuals to help sort and pack the foods into containers, or for delivery. The warmth and love can be felt pouring out of the very rooms these folks are working in. Why not step in and share it?

Imagine the feeling in your heart as you walk up to a door with a box of food for a family whose only choice for Christmas dinner is a couple cans of Spaghettios. Or the feeling you can get from handing a child a toy for Christmas when it may very well be the only toy they will receive. If that doesnt brighten your day, well, you are worse off than I ever was!

• Make a list of other's you know who also may be alone.

Yes, Christmas is traditionally a family holiday. But, that is not a written in stone law or anything! When family is not near, then, make one! Gather together with others who have no where to go for the holidays. Make your own traditions. Open your heart and mind to the possibilities. You need not be alone if you care not to be, and friends can often help fill the gaps created by not being around family. (And just think. No family squabbles that tend to pop up around the holidays! Cool!)

 

 

Believe it or not, there are different strokes for different folks! Oh, you heard that before. Well, it is true. Really!

There are folks who love Christmas because they love to shop. Hopelessly, helplessly addicted to purchasing every single person they know, who is still breathing, a gift. They will park their car so far away from the mall they need a bus to get to it without batting an eye, just to hit the bargain bin at Big Lots to get a HeMan key chain for their fifth cousin, twice removed, grandson. And then they start on the list of folks they know, but don't really even like!

There are those who love the holidays because they, quite frankly, like getting stuff. (Especially free stuff.)

Some like the holiday because of the food. Though there are three categories in this group. Those who love to prepare the goodies but not eat them. Those who like to eat the goodies but not prepare them, and those who like to make the goodies and eat them as well.

There are those who love the holidays for the scents. The smell of spices and cooking and pine. The scents of the holidays are what soothes them. The scents open thoughts and memories to them.

There are those who love the holidays for the fact their faith tells them their savior was born. (And on the other side of the coin, there are faiths that do not celebrate the holiday.)

And still other folks tend to be reflective in the season. The holidays awaken something deeper than food or gift, or even faith. The very gift of the season is love, peace and joy, and for myself, that is quite enough.

  The holiday season tends to bring out the best in most.  A time when families gather, when love can be felt in the air, and joy fills our hearts as we share our time with our loved ones.  A time when we reach out to each other.  A time when we promise ourselves to be better than we were.  A season of hope. 

Is it not a shame that the spirit of the holiday fades after the holidays untill it is revived the following year?  With all the good which happens during the holiday season, fueled by the spirit of the season, imagine what we could accomplish if we were able to capture that spirit within us throughout the entire year!  I pose that question as my gift to you this Christmas. 

To all, a most joyous Christmas, and never forget, the most supreme gift you ever will receive is inside you already.  You just have to figure out where it is hidden.

Happy Bipolaring.