Hello my name is Timothy Feignsconcern and welcome to my book review! I recently caught up with new author Mr. Hootnhowell at his home. To do an interview with him about his new book entitled "The Complete Idiots Guide To Understanding Idiots" published by Don't Give A Care press. I must admit this was a fascinating interview and gave me some great insight into the mind of an Idiot. After reading the entire book cover to cover I still only half understand all the rich information laid down in this text. Suffice it to say Mr. Hootnhowell seems to have an indepth understanding of the subject. This has got to be the most riveting interview I've ever conducted. I tried in vain to trip up Mr. Hootnhowell , but alas he is no run of the mill Idiot. You will soon discover as I have. That Mr. Hootnhowell is one extraordinary idiot! The complete unabridged interview waits below Happy Reading!!!

T. Feignsconcern> After reading the title of your new book Mr. Hootnhowell. My first thought was aren't you concerned those people who write the other Idiot Guide books. Will sue you?

Hootnhowell> Well Tim to be quite honest no! Its kinda like public domain. My name is Hootnhowell and I can put my name on any thing I want. Even if someone else already has the name Hootnhowell plastered on their product. Same holds true for my book title. Those other guys don't have a lock on being an idiot. Plenty of people will attest to the fact I'm a complete idiot. Including 2 ex-wives and my old scout master. Not to mention a large percentage of my old teachers.

T. Feignsconcern> Why this book? Why Now? What are you trying to accomplish?

Hootnhowell> Well Timothy, thats 3 questions. Are you sure you don't have a little idiot in you? Perhaps on your fathers side? Let me try to address these questions. By saying this. To answer question #1 the publisher said O.K. To answer question #2 because thats when the publisher wanted it. Finally to answer question #3 to make a butt load of money Tim.

T. Feignsconcern> Don't you believe that it's a little self serving? It was my belief the book was marketed to help over achievers better understand the masses.

Hootnhowell> Well thats true Tim. The book is really a complete course for ultra intelligent people to get in touch with their inner-idiot. I originally was just going to target progressive students at ivy league institutes. However half way into the book. I realized even an over achieving student at a Jr. College could reap some reward. I don't have to tell you that was a little depressing. I had to trim the original price down by half. So those Jr. College kids could afford it. But what the hey money should not be a barrier. Even some poor kids are so intelligent they need my help. Damn the bad luck.

T. Feignsconcern> That brings me to another point. Critics have said of your new book. The price is excessive! I would have to agree that $2495.97 for a 300 page paper-back seems a tad steep. Especially for a book even I only half grasped the concept of!

Hootnhowell> Thats because your half an idiot Tim. Probably on your mothers side! Perhaps I could work out a discount based on your half understanding this important work. How about half off?

T. Feignsconcern> But I already have the book.

Hootnhowell> Just as I thought you need help! If you had grasped even half of what I taught in my book, you would have jumped at that bargain! How about I just autograph your copy for $50.00

T. Feignsconcern> Well, alright now your talking!

Hootnhowell> There maybe hope for you yet Tim!

T. Feignsconcern> Just what can an Ivey league person, say a Harvard Grad. possibly get out of this book?

Hootnhowell> Glad you asked that Tim. You see most really intelligent people can not communicate with the general population. They lack the lingo, the slang, the common man in the street venacular. They are forced to live a life surrounded by intelligent friends. These friends are usually named Biff, Chad, Penelope, and of course Mercedes. Trust me this is no way to go through life Tim! This circle of the ultra-intelligent is very stifling. Just like a person with curly hair wishes his hair were straight. So too do these ultra-intelligents wish to break out of their stuffy circle & go slumming. Of course they do and who wouldn't? They just don't know how or are afraid they won't fit in. The truth of the matter is without the aid of "The Complete Idiots Guide To Understanding Idiots" they won't stand a snowball's chance in hell!

T. Feignsconcern> Your book then will help these poor intelligent people and give their life purpose? I find it hard to fathom.

Hootnhowell> Well of course you find it hard to fathom Tim. We covered that earlier in the interview! Just let me say this- This book will help these poor unfortunates in every walk of their dreary life. Why just chapter 2 alone will teach them the proper use of curse words, all the variations, and when to properly insert them into a conversation. Chapter 3 covers bargaining with prostitutes, hookers, and large burly men with bad intent. Chapter 4 is an indepth look at what to drink, how to order your drink, what to do when your drunk, and a list of 17 places to upchuck when you've drank too much. Chapter 6 covers all the needed forms you need to fill out for unemployment. Chapter 7 covers what one needs to know if unemployment isn't your cup of tea(hint it involves running for office). Chapter 8 deals with capitalizing on this new-found wealth of prospects for business! The final chapter deals with how to get your Idiot Diploma done in 64 color crayola! Definately a must have and I'm proud to say it is my only upsell, and at $74.99 quite the bargain!

T. Feignsconcern> My other questions are what happened to Chapter 1? Finally when can I expect my diploma?

Hootnhowell> Chapter 1 is a picture of me with my coon dog on the front porch of my shack. Followed by a synopsis on making paper airplanes! Finally to answer your Idiot Diploma question Tim. Either we're still grading your test or we are waiting for your check to clear the bank. I'm really not sure which. What I can tell you is if your looking for Intelligence try Harvard or the local Junior College. For all things humorous go to http://hootnhowell.blogspot.com/ or leave a comment below or a deposit torwards my latest book" The Complete Idiots Guide To Understanding Idiots".