The Curious Questions

Today I was reading an article in People Magazine about George Carlin's life and death. I found it awkwardly interesting that I was suddenly pushed into something very racial. I always considered myself very tolerant, very loving and caring, and never ever racist or prejudice in any way. So it came to a great surprise that I realized all my favorite entertainers, people, shows, movies and so on were all the same racial ethnic background as myself.

George Carlin is my favorite comedian, and was a second generation Irish man. Gerard Butler, my favorite actor, and what I consider the hottest celebrity, is Scottish, same with Sean Connery! One of my good friends online, Norwegian, all of my boyfriends had some racial connection too!

So I decided to go online and research the possibilities of us all being wired to lean more towards our own ethnic background. I found the results were quite random, this disappointed me in the sense that the world didn't lean to their own ethnic racial background, I was. Though I was comforted in the fact that society is more tolerant and open minded then I had originally thought, I didn't find some hope that I was not the only one in the mix who preferred their own style of entertainment.

And so my search for answers led me to a dead end, but it began to spiral off on a whole bunch of other different tangents. I was wondering what else was weird about me, so I dropped another question on being pro or anti gay. which usually I wont touch the subject with a ten foot poll because of my extreme indifference.

Are you pro gay, but still feel uncomfortable around gay couples? Or anti gay but completely comfortable around gay couples?

Of course, the answer came out that everyone who was pro gay was completely comfortable. So I was curious to my stance on things. A,m I a product of social acceptability? Do I lean to political correctness? Or am I a form of a closest bigot?

Of course I would hate to think of myself like that, and I imagine other people would hate me for it too. But during these postings I dropped a few other questions like "Do you use slang racial words? Do you hate it when others use slang racial words? Should people have racial slang words or should they be done away with (including Tv0?"

In which a few responses interested me for the matters of research.

"No....I highly doubt that this is for 'research purposes'." Was one from a responder labeled Marvin the Martian

"I can only think of one word that fits your definition." Said Loose wheel

"Why don't you just come out and say the N-word instead of beating around the bush?" replied Choc1 The other responses varied with a little more dignity, but these three reminded me of what a bigot really was and I was slightly comforted that I had not fallen into a deep demise. But still I was urged to continue my research to find how far people would go in their responses, though I had all the material I needed for now.

Has society become so Jaded that when a white Irish girl like myself asks a racial question in the matters of research that she is questioned if it is really research? Do people not realize that there are more words then "Nigger" that are considered Racist? What about "Cracker", "Hick", "Riceball", "Wetback"? there are plenty more where those came from, and only specific races can use them within their own racial groups except for the ones that are racist against white people.

Why is everyone still so closes off? Why are Whites being beat down further and further into the ground to the point that they cant ask a simple question without the motives being questioned first?

Am I a product? A Victim? Or the Cause?

I guess like every other race, every other person, I am confused in where I stand and I have no idea what I am being punished for. All I know is I need to watch what I say, and keep my research going. Racism is still happening, and I cant tell what side I am on, its like the unconscious war... I don't think its going to end, but I wish it was a little more upfront so I could choose the side I believe in without being a hypocrite. And I stand on the side of Peace tolerants, freedom and anti racism. I really wish I could see the line.

You can see my questions and all the answers posted on Yahoo Answers