The Curse of Being a Redhead
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Guys Like This Give the Rest of Us Redheads a Bad Name
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Growing Up Ginger
First of all, I have always hated that term...ginger. It never sat well with me, and really don't like being called a ginger. For those of you who don't know, a ginger is someone with a lighter shade of red hair, and freckles. So, in reality, I am a ginger. I was born with lighter red hair and what started as a smattering of freckles.
I was teased incessently as a child. I was called every name you can think of including carrot top. I had friends and made friends easily, but the teasing did not stop at the children on the playground. I was teased by family members as well. I was always refered to as Red by one of my uncles, never by my name. I guess he thought it was a term of endearment, something to make me feel special, but all it ever did was remind me how different I was.
My sisters were both blonde with blue eyes. I often wondered if I had been adopted, or if my father was really my father. The only indication that I really belonged in that family was the fact that my grandmother had been a redhead.
Television added its own cuts and bruises to my ego. The redheads depicted on tv were often mean, bratty or evil. I recall a nickname my father gave me. He often called me "Harriett", after the redheaded neighbor from a tv show called Small Wonder. Not many people remember that show, and I probably wouldn't either, if it hadn't been for that nickname. Harriett was a bratty neighbor who drooled over one of the main characters of the show, and never got the attention she so longed for.
I hated my red hair all throughout my childhood, and often told my family that once I was old enough, I was going to start dying my hair. I wanted to be blonde like my sisters and my mother. I didn't want to be teased anymore, I didn't want to be different.
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Is A Change in Order?
Redheads Are Evil??
In many cultures, throughout history, redheads are seen as evil, witches, in league with the devil. All of these are completely false, obviously. Still there is something to be learned from this. Redheads make up a very small portion of the world's population. We are a real minority. We have been discriminated against in the past, teased, hated and persecuted, and all because we have red hair.
I know, this no longer stands true. Unless you are a child on the playground, there is no real discrimination against redheads. Children can be cruel. Children tend to pick on anyone who is different. It is just a fact of life. We can teach our children to be tolerant, teach them that everyone is unique and special, but children will still be children.
Are redheads evil? No, of course we aren't. Do redheads have fiery tempers? Some do and some don't. Is it true of the statement, that redheads are fiery in the bedroom? Again, some are and some aren't. Those types of silly statements make me laugh.
Personally, I am no more evil than anyone else. I guess everyone has some capacity for evil in us. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes, as I know I have. Do I have a fiery temper? Sometimes. Sometimes when something really offends me, or goes against something I truely believe in, I tend to take a stand and speak out against it. Do I get mad when I have been hurt? Of course. As for whether I am fiery in the bedroom, that is not a matter I chose to discuss. That is information for only I, and the person I share my bed with.
Television and movies tend to purpetrate the evil of redheads. The redheaded character on Desperate Housewives certainly seemed capable of evil. Poison Ivy, the sexy female villain from the Batman comics, movies and tv show was a redhead. Redheads seduce, manipulate and corrupt.
Televsion and movies have also shown how great redheads are. Redheads are sexy, smart, funny and beautiful. I never got to see much of that growing up.
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Coming to Terms With My Hair
As I got older, and learned more about the world and about myself, I grew to love my hair. I love it for the very reason I hated it growing up; because I was different. I am unique. I often get complimented on my gorgeous red hair. Men are intrigued by my red hair, but with that, I often have to deal with dumb questions. Is that your real hair color? Does the carpet match the drapes?
I was right on one thing that I said as a child. I do dye my hair. I don't dye it blonde or brown, though. I dye it in order to keep the red. In the summers, my hair lightens to the point that I am almost blonde. So, I dye it to keep the fading to a minimum. I have grown to love my hair color. I am now proud to be a redhead. After all, the saying is true, Gentlemen prefer blondes, but it takes a real man to handle a redhead. I would never want to be blonde. There are too many of them out there. Why would I want to be just like everyone else?
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Comments
My ex of 35 years was a gorgeous Red Head. I adored her until she left me!
Anna Marie Bowman: You know I'd find this hub sooner or later. It was great to get a redheads take on growing up red. If you don't mind, I'll link to you in my hub about redheads. Also, I got (his name escapes me just now) to write a hub on the disappearing redhead gene, which I will also link to. We should all link to each other. Can't hurt! What do you think?
I really enjoyed this reflection, and you wrote about it with skill. Thanks!
I figured you would! ;) And, no, I don't mind at all. I will link yours up with mine, as well!! When you do get the link to the one on the disappearing gene, let me know! I don't think I have even read that one!! Thanks for the compliments!
Hi Anna Marie: I liked to this hub thusly: MUST READ - For a fine personal memoir on growing up with read hair, see Anna Marie Bowman's THE CURSE OF BEING A REDHEAD. This appears after my content (pic of Shirley MacLaine) and before the RSS feed for hair hubs.
The link to mine doesn't fit here.
Also, I saw that for the people who did not write their hair pieces (ha) via the request feature, You are posting their links. Mine qualifies and I would love to be included. Thanks!
I didn't like my hair growing up - but now I love it.
Chris- I can't believe I never commented on this!!! LOL! As you see, there is a link to your redhead hub here as well. Thanks for the support!!!
Becki- Glad to hear that you, too have grown to love your hair!!!
That's really funny that red hair was associated with devilry in the olden times. I never knew that. Someone should write a hub sometimes about all the whacked out things people used to believe. I'm glad you love your red hair :)
Benjimester-- It's true. Redheads were thought as evil, witches, in league with the devil. All my evil-ness aside, yeah, I love my red hair!
I don't care... I like and love redheads (women only)... color of hair has no connection to a person's personlity except. LOL. Thumbs up. And Anna, you look the best with red hair...
needful things-- Thank you! I agree, hair color is no indication of personality.
My co-worker is a ginger, and we researched ginger history once and read about how people in Europe would get beaten up for having red hair! How ridiculous! I always think it's beautiful, but it would look terrible on me :(
glassvisage-- I'm not surprized that gingers got beat up in Europe. Strange, though, because from what I know, there are more of them there than there are in the US. Yeah, red hair doesn't look great on everyone. It would be like me going blonde. I think I would look really wierd.
The red looks the best. I've heard lighter red hair being referred to as strawberry blonde. Didn't know that people used to look down on others with red hair. What a shame. I always thought red was popular because of the minority.
dave-- Thanks for the comment!! Yes, I agree that the red looks best, on me, anyway. I was teased constantly as a kid for my red hair, and looking back at history, I got off kind of light. I guess I could have been burned as a witch. LOL!
i have 2 redeaded sons, one had curly red hair (actually still does) and i tell there is nothing in this world cuter than a red headed baby (no offence to the others but they won't read this anyway)
Dolores-- I bet they are the cutest little boys ever!!! I agree, there is nothing cuter than and redheaded baby!!! The red hair, the smattering of freckles across the nose!! Just too cute!!
im young and i get made fun of because of my attitude ( im sarcastic)
and mean so ppl always say its my hair so im always sayin im going to dye it black, but i dont think ill do that but i really dont like my hair so ur thing was positive its making me rethink my decision
starburst-- Be proud of your hair!!! Trust me on this one! Don't dye your hair black!! If you do want to try it, they have a lot of products out there that wash in and wash out after a few days. I have played around with the temporary dye, just for fun. But, do not dye your hair black permanently!! I grew to love my hair, and it has gotten me a lot of positive attention.
I don't think we are cursed, I think we are blessed as we are unique human beings that do not share a common hair color!!! I am so glad that you wrote the article , you are beautiful yes you are!!!:)
Thank you, AEvans!!! So are you!!!
I love red hair. My daughter has a girlfrind who is a redhead, so has decided to go red as well. With red hair she looks so much like one of your photos it is uncanny.
For myself, any extra hair would be a bonus!
Come on Stacy, I love read heads, and my middle son is redhead, too :)
BTW your new pic is great!
earnestshub-- I hope that your daughter likes her red hair!! Just let her know that when you dye your hair red, it tends to fade out quicker than other colors, so if she likes it, it will require more upkeep. I darken my hair after the summer sun fades it to almost blonde. Check out my hub on Bald Celebs!! Go completely bald!! You will be in some good company!
Misha-- I have always thought redheaded kids were so cute!!! Thank you! It's a pic that has a lot of great memories tied to it!!
As a former redhead (I highlight my hair blonde now), I can relate. I was constantly made fun of in school. Called "carrot top", to which I replied "carrot tops are green" (yeah, I know it's lame). Also, constantly told "rather be dead, than red on the head"...in retrospect, that's kind of mean! Most people think I have blond hair now, but the stereotypes still exist. My girlfriend is convinced that all red heads are "Type A" people and have hot tempers!
kea-- I never understood the carrot top comment, either. I have heard that comment about "rather be dead than red on the head." It always makes me mad!! Stereotypes are just that. I don't see myself as a "Type A" person. I am rather laid back when it comes to most things. I do have a bit of a temper, but it cools quickly. Why do you hide your red hair??
I don't hide my red hair...it's just that blondes have more fun :) No, I just think I look cooler with blondish-red hair than with fire-engine red hair. I don't think red hair is as cool on guys as it is for girls! That's all. I am sort of Type A though, so people can probably tell I have red roots!
I have blonde highlights, too, but with the long hair, it doesn't do anything to hide my red hair!! I have seen a lot of good looking guys with red hair, but you are right. It tends to work better for girls, than for guys.
Anna, I was so mad fun of as a redhead growing up too...it is so weird that most of us were!!! Like we were some freak race or something!!! I posted this article on my facebook so my friends can understand what it was like when I grew up. I remember coming home crying after school all the time, and telling my mom I hate my hair and I insisted on her dying it blonde for me!!! I love my hair now and all one billion and one of my freckles LOL.
RageNRedHead-- I am glad to hear that you, too, have grown to love your red hair!! I think we should be considered our own race. We don't look like other people, our skin reacts differently to sunlight than other people, and we are harrassed and discriminated against. (ok, so maybe that's going a little far...LOL!)
Anna,
I am a brunette but I have always adored red heads. There's something so fiery so flamish about them that makes them look so darn pretty! I am happy that you have come to terms with your hair color! :)
Jeeeeeeeeeez woman are you for real, redheads are like goddesses in the Captains eyes, to be a redhead is to be sex on legs, do not ever dye it !!!!!
My grandfather, my aunt,my mom,my son, my son's father's whole family are all redheads..not me. Not me! Rats! What I wouldn't give to be a strawberry blonde like my son!!! Grrrrrr.
nazishnasim-- I am very happy with my hair now. Just yesterday, when I was flying out to California, I overheard some other passengers talking about how much they love redheads. I couldn't help but overhear, and looked at them and smiled.
badcompany-- It wasn't fun growing up as a redhead. I grew up, and realized how great, unique and special I am. Sex on legs...I like that!!!
Candie-- Wow!! All those redheads in your family, and somehow it missed you!! Sorry to hear that...there's always hair dye!!
Dose copper hair count as red hair?
Hey I'm glad you have grown to love your hair but personally I hate being a redhead. :( It looks great on others and I'm complimented by my friends all the time and people I know by my brothers and dad but I was always the one excluded from games and teased. I'm 17 now and I still don't really like being in the minority. I was kicked and beat up by some kids on that "Kick A Ginger Day" thing and if I had the choice I'd dye my hair but I can't. =[ But other people look really nice with red hair =] just had to post this comment. :)
mel-- I hate that kick a ginger day. I even hate the term ginger. I get teased a little by my boyfriend, cause he knows I hate that word. He gets a kick out of the South Park episodes that talk about gingers having no souls. He knows it bugs me, so I know what you are dealing with. I hope you grow to appreciate your distinctive hair color. Best of luck to you!
Well at least I know there are others out there who hate the term "ginger" personally I do like red hair... just not on me haha red hair is always pretty but it's just not my favourite colour for myself... and I hate the fact that usually along with it comes very fair skin and freckles.... question how did you learn to love your red hair? =] and yes I too get bugged by that episode of South Park. It's nice to know there are others that are or have dealt with what I'm going through because all my friends say that I shouldn't have such a problem with my hair because it's so pretty but they just don't understand. =l
mel-- It took a long time for me to grow to love my hair. Over the years, I was teased less. I still get comments from some people, mostly jerks, about how redheads are ugly, or whatever. But, for the most part, I get a lot of compliments. There are also a lot of guys out there that love redheads. I realized that I am special, in a good way. There are so few of us out there. We are unique. My hair makes me stand out in a crowd. No one forgets me. I looked up redheaded celebs. We are in some good company. If you are getting compliments on your red hair, maybe you should stop and think about what your friends are saying. We are always our own harshest critics. I know I see myself differently than others do. I see myself with a much more critical eye than everyone else does.
I love this! I am still in school and used to get jibes all the time about my hair- but now, I just laugh along and sometimes even make the jibes that the bullies would make before them, 'cause then they know that I don't care! It also makes them respect me alot more- I find that when people with ginger hair like myself get wound up about it just makes people tease them more, making them feel out of place, which of course we're not, we're unique! Just think of all those beautiful redheaded women- Nicole Kidman, Lily Cole, Kate Winslit, Kathryn Hepburn- all beautiful! You just have to open your eyes and look around you sometimes- if red hairs so "bad" how come red hair dyes are sold, and how come people ask if its your natural hair colour? Obviously its because they're jelous! Stand tall and you'll see people looking at you, and it feels good to feel confident about being unique, naturally!
That was my little speech, I hope you liked it! :D
Sarah-- Great attitude to have!!! Get the jokes in there before they can make them!!! Thank you!!! Love it!!
Hey i loved your story, it s just like my story, i am 18, and i have hated my hair color, but now i love it, some times i hate being diffrnt but at the same time i love it
I am a red head and so is my Dad and two little brothers. All 4 of us are basically identical actually. I hated my hair from middle school and dyed it every color I possibly could but my hair wouldn't hold color so in just a month or two the red was taking over again. I fought it until my senior year when I began to love my red hair when I realized some guys liked me strictly because I had red hair. I made me feel special and like I had a league of my own.
My Dad being 6'4" and a very huge muscle type of guy was called big red all through high school and college and he loved it. He was more ashamed of home much larger he was than everyone else. He got beaten up and picked on my much older kids because of this. I saw his Kindergarten photo and he's about half a foot taller than every other kid in his class. He was always horrified that the same was going to happen to me. I was teased a lot for being so tall and broad shouldered. I resented it to because most boys didn't want to have anything to do with me because I was taller than them. I still get made fun of to being so tall to this day. Not for my red hair though.
Actually I read recently about how some redheads have been beaten in the streets in Britain just for having red hair. I also think the term Ginger is a European thing as well. Vampires actually originated from redheads as well way back in medieval times. It was how the explained sunburns and allergies and all those other lovely things we as redheads are prone to. Also Judas is always painted with red hair to symbolize his betrayal of Jesus.
Glenne-- I am glad you have grown to love your hair color. It took me a few more years to really appreciate it.
Lauren-- Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for the added information!!!!
I LOVE my red hair. The first thing people say when I tell them I am a natural red head is "Yeah, from a bottle, right?" It is so offensive. But once I tell them NO this is the color that sprouted from my hair when I was 2 then they fall all over themselves about how pretty it is :)
It makes me feel Amazing. Red hair is the ultimate confidence booster when you finally come to love it.
I'm eighteen and still get ragged on for being a red head. People are still so insistent on stereotyping us that I'm starting to think it's getting a little out of control. My best friend affectionately calls me Ginger so much that other people think it's okay to call me that when I actually hate it!
There's this episode of South Park called Ginger Kids (I think). While I used to find the show hilarious, I stopped watching after I saw that episode because it was so demeaning to red heads. South Park is not meant to be taken seriously and people actually HAVE! Thanks to that episode, I get the whole, "Oh, you're a red head so you're a vampire" stereotype on a constant basis.
The negative comments that come along with my red hair, freckles, and pale skin have driven me to the point where I'm seriously considering dyeing my hair dark brown so I fit in with my entire family. The only redeming quality about me is that my eyes are brown. My guy friends are constantly trying to convince me not to dye my hair and my female friends say I should only dye it temporarily.
The stupid thing is, when people tell me my hair is pretty, I feel like they're pitying me. Nobody can relate to a red head except for another red head. Reading this definitely opened up my eyes to show me that I'm not the only one who has experienced the negative side of having red hair.
Im a natural redhead!
Im 15 and I love love love it!..wouldnt change it for the world!..who wants to be a boring brunette or blonde?!..Redheads are on fireeeeee!..
"Blondes are noticed..but redheads are NEVER forgotten!" - unknown
"It's not just a hair color, it's a state of mind."
-Realm of Redheads
I am 46 and a natural redhead. My mother has it, two of my siblings have it, and four of my eight children as well. Like every redhead, I have often been confused by the contradictory feedback (both compliments and insults).
When I was growing up, the compliments came from adults and the insults from children. Like elle, I thought the compliments were inspired by kindness or pity. I discounted the compliments because of the insults.
It's been a gradual thing, but I've come to decide that people really MEAN the compliments! I should not let the insults cancel them out.
When my oldest daughter (the first of my children with red hair)was struggling to understand this, I told her, "People either really like red hair or they don't."
We'll never have 100% approval, but the approval we have will be enthusiastic! And if the people who don't like it would keep it to themselves (like a polite person should), everything would be fine. I'm sure that many people do, but of course there will always be a few people who are impolite or lack awareness.
About people who lack awareness -- I have known three VERY NICE women who had no idea how their comments affected me. Two of these women told me that they liked red hair, but that their husbands didn't -- and then they had to go into detail about it. Their husbands had never said anything to me, and I would never have known if their wives hadn't told me. Maybe they thought they were showing their loyalty by telling me, but it would have been much kinder not to have said anything. The other was a sweet lady who told me that she had not wanted to have children with red hair, but that she now felt she could accept it if her grandchildren had it. She may have been being honest, but it would have been better if she had shared her feelings with someone who did not have red hair. With the first two women, I was too embarrassed to comment at the time, but I eventually wrote to them explaining my feelings. I did say something to the third lady, but I decided to write to her too. It was because these women were good people that I made the effort -- otherwise I wouldn't bother.
I used to flinch at every mention of my hair color, but I decided to believe a friend when she told me that some nicknames (like Carrot Top) are meant with affection by many people. So I have been trying to be less sensitive and more appreciative of people's intentions.
In a Thumbelina movie (produced by Don Bluth), the mother tells Thumbelina, "Never wish to be anything but what you are." I like this advice. God created us with different eye, hair, and skin colors, but we are all beautiful. Variety is wonderful!
A few months ago, I started to think of all the compliments I have received in my life (more than just my hair) and how unlikely it was that there could be no truth to them. Maybe it was time for me to start believing them and feeling confident.
Yesterday I was looking in a catalog (Catalog Favorites) and saw a T-shirt that said, "Redheads Are HOT." I smiled because it fit my new attitude and it reminded me of one of my daughters who calls herself, "Jessie the Hot." (She has red hair too.) It was googling on these words that brought me to this web-site.
Just_Rodney says:
15 months ago
I personally am partial to red heads, as my first girl friend was a redhead. I also am a photographer, who likes to do natural light photograpy which means minimal flash or lighting. By and large found them to be more photogenic.
Thanks for the hub