First of all, let me say before I even get started that I believe in professional help. If a relationship is failing - obviously being a relationship coach, I advocate for getting professional help in the form of coaching or counseling. That said, sometimes all the best efforts, experts, and intentions in the world can't save a dieing relationship. When it's time to get out of dodge, you gotta go. However, what keeps many women stuck when they need to move out and move on is not having a single clue about what to do next. In the absence of know what to do, many women do nothing until things have gone too far and they are fleeing in the night or the police have arrived to escort someone out - I say that partially in jest, however, we've all seen it, relationships that are way past the expiration date that end in unnecessary drama or even tragedy.

If for any reason you think you or your children might be in danger, you have to get out now- as in right now. However, if not, a solid exit strategy can prevent crisis, drama, and tragedy. It can get you out with your best foot forward as you are trying to rebuild a life with a fresh start. Below are the top five things that should be a part of any exit strategy. All of these things apply whether you are thinking divorce or even trial separation.

#1. Get counseling or hire a coach. You'll be glad you did. If you've decided to leave, obviously we aren't talking about a couples thing. We are talking about rebuilding a strong sense of self and getting support while you navigate the treacherous waters of divorce or separation. Rebuilding is hard enough work when you have a plan and tools in place. No one should have to go it alone. Not to mention having someone to talk to that is outside your circle of friends and family is priceless.

#2. Hire an attorney - do it before you leave. If you have so much as signed a lease together or shared a pet, there will be issues about who gets what and what goes where. If you have purchased a home together or have children you absolutely must get professional legal help to insure your rights are protected and your children are too. Very few, and I mean almost zero marriages that involve property or children can be dissolved without legal help.

#3. Put at least two months of living expenses for you and your children away - someplace safe. I realize this is controversial because I am suggesting "hiding" money. However, that is exactly what I'm suggesting. You'd be surprised how quick bank accounts can get emptied and credit cards can get frozen. The last thing you want is to literally end up penny-less overnight. Be prepared to account for this money when it comes time to talk about assets with attorneys. Squirreling money away from marital assets might be considered stealing if you are unwilling to account for it later so keep track.

#4. Find a place to go and make sure all the details are in place to get there. Don't assume the other party is going to leave just because you suggest it. Chances of that are pretty darn slim. You are likely going to need a place to go and quite possibly a place for your children to go for a few days, weeks, or months. When children are involved it is important to follow legal counsel regarding relocation. However, no matter what you will need a place to land when it's time to get out.

#5. Identify one confidant. ONE and ONE only. Do not tell the whole village or even the whole family. Find one person you trust and let them know what you're thinking and what the plan is. You'll need support, feedback, and whether you think so or not a shoulder to cry on.