All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.  ~Anatole France

I remember the time when my husband asked me to help organize his office with his growing staff. I was so excited to be of assistance, i immediately went to work, and when i was ready, i announced the new company set up. All throughout my presentation, i sensed a coldness, and strangely, a silent indifference, which threw me off. I had to keep my professional hat very tight that day and realized, it wasn't about me, as much as it was about change. There was a lot of apprehension about the 'unknown' and, until it was made clear to them that the change was necessary for their progress and the comapny's, there was understandbly fear. 

Change can be a choice or an eventuality that has already occurred, or will yet happen to anyone of us. It has nothing to do with gender, race, age, social status, nor physical appearances. The best, mightiest, most successful celebrated and even the least amongst us will travel this road, if not once, many times. We may be in our comfort zones, it doesn't matter. There is the reality that one little 'eathquake' of an event, or something falling from the sky can suddenly displace us. And things will never be the same.

When i was young, i thought of life as a fairytale, and believed i was a princess who would always be protected by her royal dad and handsome prince charming. But, that all went crashing down when the king lost everything and my husband prince messed around with other princesses. My life changed and what i didn't like was that fact that i had no control over anything. It happened. But, looking back now, it was a good thing. I grew up and wisened up quickly. Of course there were a lot of struggles, emotionally and psychologically. Thank God for kind and caring souls who saw me through the changes. This is part of the journey, is finding gems of friendships and just goodness along the way.

Why do we fear change? It's facing the unknown, that which is unfamiliar to us. We don't like being removed from what we are used to, even if its a bad relationship. I know of some women who stayed with abusive partners and were more afraid of being alone. Year after year, they lived through their nightmare and just accepted their plight. That is sad. But, there were those who found the courage and the strength in giving up, rather than giving in. There is a point when a decision has to be made, a so called crossroad, when you know, you must make the move. You can stay, or remain status quo, but that decision may eventually 'kill' you, in more ways than one.

Its the same in our business life. We face the realities of a precarious world economy that has affected families in almost every level. But, most of us like to cry foul and complain, asking, demanding for change, from government, our leaders, our spouses, as if they have the power to save us. The truth is, they are just as limited, and probably clueless as to where to find solutions. So, where do we go from there? If they can't bring on this change, who will?

The first place we must go to is within ourselves. We determine if there is a need for change in our life, and if we are willing take the steps to see that happen. Here are a few tips, if you need to make changes.

1.Make the decision, don't look back. Be true to yourself and your conviction.

2.Step out of your comfort zone, which will require from you real determination to move on. If you don't get past this, then you lose.

3.Don't look for a crystal ball, there is none. Do your homework and learn, which is something nobody else will do for you.

4.Evaluate your risks, if there's any. Often what we fear is all in our imagination and are never realities. You can overcome fear, or let it stop you.

5.Think ideas. Brainstorm with trusted friends, or family. You never know what you can come up with.

6.Take the leap. Run. Once you do this, you will actually find just how rewarding it is.

7.Don't stress by looking too far into the future. Make each day count and give it your best shot.

8.Be confident and full of expectations. It never hurts to believe that good things can happen, esp, when you are convinced you are on the right tract.

9.Keep focused. No matter how difficult things may get, stick to your plans and vision.

10.Celebrate your success and breakthrough. It's OK to pat yourself, or blow your own horn, just in case no one else will.

Change can be dreadful. It has a way of putting our lives in a spin, like it did mine. I was married for almost 30 years to a man who had always provided for our family. He was 54 yrs old when was diagnosed with liver cancer, and within 4 months, he was gone. It was drastic and so unexpected, i was not prepared to face life alone. I mourned his death, at the same time, dreaded the uncertainty of my future. In my sorrow and loss, i found a wonderful loving community. Although my faith wavered at times, i found comfort in knowing i was not alone. Despite my doubts, i manage to take some little steps, recover, and redefine who i was.

Change can be threatening and liberating. It's like the seasons, when we make adjustments, but we cannot ignore the beauty and variety it unfolds. It's an inevitable cycle that the heavens purposed, just like every dark night that passes, then brings us, the most glorious morning.