Just days away from being a dad for the second time, my thoughts are a terrible jumble. I see in the eyes of my daughter that I have grown as a person, I have begun to receive her trust and admiration. It only took me 2 yrs 2 months and 5 hours.

Am I ready for this journey with bambino numero dos? I only have 11 days to have it decided for me. I'm already smitten by the lil alien taking space in my wife's belly, I can only imagine that I will be the same guy who told the doctors I needed a second before cutting the umbillical cord the first time. To be honest I was a mess. I slept more than my wife while we were recooping from delivery. Yes I said we were recooping. Why? You didn't go through labour! You are likely the same now as before the pregnancy! You didn't have to work right up to the last minute before delivery! No, as a man I get the privilege to encourage my wife not to worry so much (full time job that is), count the contractions, keep her spirits up, contact the family and friends, don't forget to eat, to ensure that wife knows I am capable and competent (also a full time job..lol) , and  to let her know I am ok when baby cries and wakes me up knowing in about 3 hours I'll have to go to work etc. I was unconscious most of our time in the hospital, friends would come by and take a peek at momma and baby to see if they could do anything, while I was in a dream like state thinking that I remembered so and so being there, but not really knowing if they were or not. I can't explain the lack of energy, I just know I experienced it.  

My wife, a peach, was an angel when our daughter was born. She immediately knew what to do and mostly how to do it. I, on the other hand needed a new brain, one that didn't have thoughts about missing my ball hockey game, or hoping baby would sleep so mamma could sleep so daddy could watch the hockey/football game, so that he remembered that swaddling is a much better way to get baby ready for bed than leaving her to be propped up by pillows and covered with blankets. The new brain never arrived. I don't know why. I needed it pretty badly those first couple of months. I wished for it, I even dreamt of it once. It was a truly out of body experience. But once I had things down, bath time, diaper changes, night time cuddle songs (I made up a lot of Irish sounding songs mostly humming) ones I could remember - Frere Jacques, Allouteta, Twinkle Twinkle..... even threw in some Pearl Jam and Great Big Sea when nothing else worked, things got better.

Now I have a handle on how things should go, the second go-round should be pie in comparison. Though is two years removed too long ? Will I have forgotten the right way to hold, and which way I like to hold the baby? Though I am sure this one, like the first, will dictate to me what their favorite rocking and sleeping positions are. I am ready for it all.

One thing I am not really ready for is the reception or lack of such from my daughter when Momma and Daddy bring back a new brother or sister ( we didn't ask what we are having). My daughter has already stated that she has the title 'baby' so we'll have to come up with a new term for the new infant. Though on times she admits she is a 'big baby', I still see her as someone who will want to dominate the conversation, to be the one in the spotlight despite knowing that new babies always get the most attention, I am interested to see the resulting behaviors. Well, anxious to witness the new behaviors, would be a better description.

Life as a Dad is something I will always cherish, and something that will always bring me back from my thoughts about my stuff. They are and always will be what I live for. I could not trade the experience of being a Dad, and may even debate that its the best thing in the world.... even with a woman who thinks that being a mom is better. I am whole, and happy and outside of this new family I am creating with my wife, I don't know if I have ever, or will ever experience happiness to this magnitude ever again.

So for all the parents out there... Live Love Laugh.... its really all the tools you need to survive life!